In the Waiting Room

Standing in Faith for Divine Restoration

I’m in the waiting room. It is the same room where Job wrestled with himself and God. This waiting room is a spiritual area where an afflicted and suffering child of God straddles , (and struggles with) the blurred line of complete faith and trepidatious pain.

In the waiting room, I’m reading the book of cures for all conditions, despite the fact that I dread the fact that I may wake up to yet another day where this stabbing in my Jaw joint will relentless pummel me to the point of sobbing out loud for relief. I may not be scraping erupting boils off my skins with a sharp piece of pottery, but I am fighting thoughts of being in never-never land with my heavenly father, where there will be no more tears or suffering. What keeps me going is the truth that my Redeemer lives.

God has sent me off downhill on the front seat of a racing rail car in to uncharted territory. For those of us dealing with acute chronic pain without medication, I’ve spent years wracking my brain trying to pinpoint the source of my distress. I’ve also exhausted every option of treatment, to no avail and have also been through countless doctors who’ve treated me with every healing modality available.

I stand here, scratching my head, wondering what to do with myself. I follow Jesus with a devoted heart and know of a certainly that Father God is not the giver of this tormenting disease, but my enemy satan who has sent out one or several of his minions to torment me.

I’m pretty much exhausted and disgusted by all the years of driving to doctors and trying this and that with no relief. I wonder every day how other children of God deal with their excruciating pain. I’ve amassed a library of books on deliverance and getting myself free.

I’ve experienced and learned quite a bit since my other Dystonia blogs from several years ago. I hope this latest one will give a little more insight and a little more hope to the hopeless!

Prayer avails much and the more yo know about the specifics of your condition, the more confidently you can pray in full assurance that Yashuah, or healer shall heal or sickness! Always put prayer at the top of your list, asking Father for supernatural wisdom and whether you’ll need to be treated by a good doctor.

First off, here are a few links that yo may want to check into. My issue has been violent twitching of the neck, mouth, tongue and throat areas, particularity the Platysma muscles and Temporo Mandibular Jaw joint, TMJ. I have done all kinds of research to find a way to sooth the pain in that area.

Dystonia of the lower face cold be cased by Trigeminal Neuyraligia

You may also want to pray and ask Father if your resistant Lyme or Dystonia could be linked to a spiritual root. My husband and I just finished a week-long stint of powerful teachings on the spiritual roots of Disease. Although I am very acquainted with the scriptures, I was very surprised to learn about how satan can afflict God’s people with disease and sickness through open doorways of sin or generational curses. Many pastors and denominations insist that once we accept Christ as our Savior it’s a done deal. But there are too many Christians who love Christ and are trying to live godly lives who are suffering greatly from the effects of things that happened during their childhood, in early adolescence and even in the womb! I would leave no stone unturned when it comes to walking in total healing and deliverance.

Doctor Henry Wright, founder of BE IN Health teaching ministries and author of his book, says much about sin being a cause of our stubborn and chronic sickness.

Here are some excellent ministries who specialize in deliverance if you find your symptoms are not improving.

Robert Heldler

Set Yourself Free! A Deliverance Manual: ThM Robert D. Heidler: 9780979167805: Books

Set Yourself Free! A Deliverance Manual: ThM Robert D. Heidler: 9780979167805: Books

Buy from Amazon

Pastor Derek Prince

Pastor Suddoth
Righteous Acts Ministries

I also highly recommend detoxifying your body as best as you can. Since Lyme is also connected with mercury start today on a dedicated detoxifying regimen. You’ll still have to deal with pain or discomfort but the less toxins, bacteria and fungi you have the more energetic you’ll be.

Doctor sherry Rogers, book “DETOXIFY or DIE”

Above all, Dr Jesus is your chief physician, so pray, declare those scriptures and rejoice, even if you’re sobbing in agony! My life has been so complicated, as many of you also have. May we love each other and fervently pray for each other as Jesus commands us and share the secrets of healing and restoration with each other. The world truly knows we are Christian when we love and cherish each other.

Are You In?

A prophetess sister in Christ called me the other day.
“Sister Anita” she moaned, “I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks and I’ve been weeping sore for the church. God has called me to pray for the church, because His ears are weary of our repenting.”

I was shocked to hear this and my heart sank.

After she shared the rest of what God impressed on her heart regarding the impending judgement on America, I asked her to agree withe me in prayer that God’s people would get a swift revelation to “get their houses in order” before that catastrophic tsunami judgement came. Vanessa and I prayed and wept strongly for our brethren, (and especially the pastors) who were in error and apathy to wake up. The spirit quickened her and we knew our prayers were heard.. We weren’t certain that God would give us yet more time to touch souls and to help our back-slidden brethren get it right, but we knew that Father acknowledged our heart-felt prayer.

I was still in shock about God’s opinion of His people, when I got off the phone with sister Vanessa, I was hearing wonderful reports daily from my many prayer groups on Facebook and couldn’t believe that God was not pleased at all with us. Vanessa and my conversation happened this past Sunday.

Last nigh as I lay half asleep, I remembered the materials used in the construction of God’s Holy house. The materials were gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay and straw. 1 Cor. 3:12. As I meditated on this description of these materials, I prayed the materials I used in my building the past 31 years would endure the intense heat of Father’s refining fire. We are God’s building and it should be our daily desire to contribute only those materials which would stand the test of His refining. Scripture tells us that each man will be rewarded for what He has contributed during His journey as God’s child. 1 Cor 3:8

Pastor Ray Thoman, Hia Ministry and a faithful servant of God consistently preaches against the disobedient who build their own kingdoms and ministries apart from God. So it’s hard to reconcile the great miraculous works and miracles my Facebook sisters testify about with Pastor Ray’s “disobedient rebel” messages, thus bringing forth God’s great wrath

Puerto-Rican prophet-pastor, Pastor Ephrain Rodrigues recently gave a chilling and urgent message on his YouTube channel. He said that every ministry in Puerto Rico would be razed! Puerto Rico was the epicenter of judgement which would spread to all the Caribbean islands , (because of their idolatry, witchcraft and voodoo) and then to the United States. I couldn’t believe my ears and immediately started crying and praying for a Holy wake-up call before it’s too late. The punishment would be a huge rock thrown into the sea, causing a massive Tsunami worse than the one that flooded japan!

I have to grieve and wonder why the church is so weak tainted and ripe for almost complete destruction. It boggles my mind that His wrath will come down like an anvil and beyond our comprehension. I asked Father to show me why His people are walking is disobedience and hypocrisy.

FI remember me as an adolescent, living with my parents and sisters. Discord was brewing between my parents and it influencing my two middle sisters. They were always fighting and my impatient, angry mother would explode in a banshee type rampage. She lunged into their rooms like an angry bull and destroyed everything in her sight! Beds were overturned, clothes and toys, were torn apart and she ended her temper tantrum by spilled the pail of dirty water all over everything! Meanwhile, my sisters had locked themselves in another room, cursing her behind the locked doors and threatening her with a phone call to DYFS, (Youth and Family Services)
The more they ranted and raved, the meaner my mother got. She even managed to rile up my father and convince him to sign papers for their foster care placement. It was a terrible situation. My sisters could only react the only way they knew how, with resentment, retaliation and rebelliousness . There could be no compromise or resolution in such a situation and there are perhaps many unsolved issues with God’s own people and their unfit pastors.

That being said, though I’ve touched upon Pastor responsibility in one of my earlier blogs. I stress the need for pastors to try to undo the damage they have done to their flock. I don’t even know if Father will give us extra time and if He does, it will have to be by His miraculous restoring workmanship and revelation to the pastors and shepherds..

I now turn my focus to you, my carnal or back-slidden brother or sister. The hands of the clock are at 11:59,. Are abiding in the vine? John 15:4 I ask you, do you love God and Jesus? Jesus told you, If you love me you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

I’m just as weak and prone to sin as the next person, for the Bible says all my righteousness is as filthy rags. Isaiah 64:6 My relationship with my precious Heavenly, Father and Jesus is such that I can’t bare the thought of disobeying Him our of purposely rebelling or doing evil! Basking in His love each day and meditating on His goodness to me, draws me even nearer and He affirms His love back to me. Throughout the day, I thank Him out loud for every blessing, the hot cup of coffee I’m drinking, the hot running water that flows so freely our of my faucet each day, my warm bed and the heat that comes of the vents. How blessed I am to live in such a comfortable and blessed nation as America!

Before God’s church can walk in Holiness and obedience, they must first have a passionate and loving encounter with their Creator and Jesus Christ, their redeemer. Once one is rightly related to Him, they can have no other desire but to please him. Many salivation prayers to Christ are made in ignorance, glibness or pressure from fear of eternal damnation. Many new believer, (many of which have suffered emotional, physical and spiritual traumas) aren’t established in God’s love and properly nurtured by the others member of the body. Many have been hurt by the sexual abuse of a priest or a legalistic, domineering pastor. Many pastors have no idea the essentialness of providing a nurturing atmosphere for their people.

After my first church broke up, I went through a period of floundering about in isolation, and spiritual insecurity regarding my worth because I wasn’t taught about God’s unconditional and restorative love, nor his provision. God’s people must be taught the basics as babes in Christ or they will grow up like a gnarled, unruly and dry branch of a thorn bush..My saving grace was a prayer our young assistant pastor, brother Leonard prophesied over me several months into my new relationship with Jesus. He said,

“You shall be like a tree planted by the water, spreading out your roots and you will not fear when the heat comes,” That was in 1982 and I have never forgotten that promise. When I have faced the most daunted mountain, I held on to that precious promise. I thank God everyday for the tenderness that Brother Leonard showed me whenever had fears or doubts. I believe that if God had not placed him in my life in that early stage of my relationship with Jesus, I may not be writing this to you today!

Every new-born child of God needs the stability of a loving, but firm pastor or mentor. That is the reason pastors, teachers and leaders will be the most accountable when God’s judgement (at the Bema seat) comes. He will ask us if we fed his sheep, as Jesus asked Peter after his crucifixion. Pastors cannot be led by their own zeal, head knowledge of the word or their formerly worldly habit of hasty surface judgement of men’s hearts and motives! Too much of this shallow religiosity, (such as was applied during the impending stoning of the adulterous woman and if which also the adulterous man was not even called out) There is much hypocrisy in the Christendom’s administration of justice for women, children, foreigners and the poor.

Jesus urged us to count the cost before we attempted to build our house. Part of building that house is righteous judgement and the proper applying of justice for those deprived of it!

As I grew in grace and my relationship with my Heavenly father, He revealed to me the great and precious promises that I had the moment I trusted my life to Him. Over the years, the more I studied His word, the understanding was revealed to me. I took even more seriously the vow I made to Him way back in 1982! The more I sought Him with all my heart the more relevant His word and plan became to me. When I read in the book of Revelation that He will vomit out of His mouth the lukewarm, I trembled in fear. I dread the thought of any possibility that I was living a lie, thinking myself to be righteous, if possibly I was living contrary to what He called me
How can one truly know they are walking in obedience and abiding in the vine? I urge you, Beloved today, to take a serious inventory of your life, thought patterns and activities. We are not talking legalism here, but freedom in Christ for He beckons, “Take my yoke upon you, for my burden is light”

We also know that in these last days, the very elect can be deceived and deceived many are because of false prophets all over the internet and leading many of God’s children astray.
How can we truly know that we are His?

1. Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
David was a man after God’s own heart despite the fact he made some serious mistakes and committed some serious sin. David chased after God with all His mind, soul and spirit.
Beloved are you chasing God with all your might?

2. Is there any sin (unconscious or generational strongholds from your ancestors) or mindsets that are contrary to God’s word. In other words, if you struggle with debt and poverty, do you continue say, “ I can’t get out of debt or I’ll always be poor” You are speaking contrary to what God promises in His word. God’s truth says, “My God shall supply all your need in accordance with His riches and glory!”

If you are always sick or depressed, find out why. Do you continually say, “I’m getting a cold or flu or call an infirmity as yours, eg my arthritis or my Lupus. Arthritis and Lupus are not from God, they are from satan, so you need to confess that “By Jesus stripes I am healed! Scriptural confession is victory!

Certain sins are obvious, but some preachers do not preach against sin. Whatever the Bible calls sin…is sin. Young person, are you fornicating? Spouse are you having an adulterous affair? Are you committing sodomy, child molestation, perversion? Are you committing deviant behavior and practicing alternative sexual lifestyles? Are you robbing God of His rightful tithes and offerings? Do you gossip or speak negatively about people, (including speaking ill about our pastors behind their backs, other leaders or those in authority or those who have high callings)? We must be very careful of the words that come out of our lips. Are you a glutton? And the big one, do you harbor unforgeveness to anyone who has hurt you? Bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness are three of the biggest stronghold keeping us from fellowship with our heavenly Father. Many illnesses and mental conditions stem from unforgiveness.

Ask God everyday when you first wake up and when you are ready to retire that He would reveal anything you said or did that was displeasing to Him, repent, thank Him and move on! If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John !:9.

At the beginning of each day, I declare, May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. My desire each day is to be a fragrance to My heavenly Father, to please him in my words and my deeds. When you seek God and desire to please Him, you have no interest to sin or to embrace
any negative strongholds.

3 Beloved, are you disinterested in the things of God and have you stopped spending intimate time with Him? If you said yes, you are lukewarm and I urge you to get back into fellowship with Abba father. He delights with great expectation to receive back His prodigal son or daughter! Why don’t you come back home, dear one? It matters not far you have traveled from His bosom or the multitude of sins you’ve done. All that matters is now! You may not have tomorrow or even the rest of this day. Now is the time of salvation (the real communion with Him) and repentance. Now is your time to be restored!

I remind you pastors who are reading this, who say, “I’ve already preached that judgement is already on its way against the disobedient, but I tell you that we are His sheep…and sheep are stupid! Some immediately understand and obey. Others need to be reminded time and time again. That’s just the way it is.

I pray this blog will stimulate how important God’s lost sheep are to Him. Some of us need great detail, guidance and need to be taken by the hand. That’s why Jesus did nots break a bruised reed, nor quenched the smoking flax. Mat 12:20. He harshly rebuked the judgmental religious-minded Pharisees and Sadducees, but gently restored the wayward broken.

I don’t know how much time we have to fix what is seriously broken. Father has shown me the reason for such error, tragic misalignment of His gracious truth and the ineptness of hasty, but called men and women of God who have not spent the needed time sitting at the feet of Yeshuah, the Savior of the world and the restorer of the breach!.

I implore you pastor, teacher or shepherd to re-evaluate your style of shepherding and make it right to the sheep who you’ve unintentionally or intentionally. If you can’t make it right, repent and ask Father’s forgiveness and trust him to restore the one you may have responded to inappropriately or harshly

I implore you prodigal brother or sister, come back to the fold. We Love you and Father is waiting eagerly to hold you in his bosom. If you don not respond, then Father will have no other choice than to accept your choice of rejecting His precious Son, Jesus sacrifice Ignoring Him as excommunication from His loving Fathership. Time is very short. Father is about ready to take home His own. Many have desired to be holy as He is holy. He is a loving, forging Father, but He is also Holy and we must not only adore Him as a little child, but revere Him. This may be one of the most important blog you will ever read, for it resounds as a clear trumpet warning of the impending gathering that will only include those who truly are His. Are you His? Is He your everything? If not please consider all I’ve shared with you. Heaven will be a place beyond our comprehension and He has already prepared a wonderful place for us to dwell when all the earthly chaos is over with. Come to Him today. Renew Your relationship with Father and this time, mean it and walk in it!

Are you in?

A Good Spanking

Discipline Through God’s Eyes
Dispelling the myth of chastisement as rejection or hate

My memories of my dad’s (Papito’s) spankings were traumatic and never punctuated by, “I’m doing this for your own good” or “When you’re older, you’ll appreciate this.” We were belted good and red and that was it.

My Heavenly Father does not discipline like this. He is perfect and whenever he disciplines or chasten us it is for our glorious grooming. Jesus told us, “As many as I love I rebuke and chasten. Be zealous therefor and repent.” Rev 3:19. We never enjoy being corrected, but it is essential for us to learn submission regarding Father’s training of us

I know many brethren who have shared their horror stories of their spiritual beatings in different churches. Most came from broken families or had fathers who harsh, critical and abusive. As adults seeking belonging and restoration through church fellowship, many found themselves in the same state as when they were children. Fellow brethren would misunderstand them or their pastors were unsympathetic, unsupportive of their gifts or emotionally detached. Many find themselves even more emotionally traumatized and alienated. There is no such thing as a perfect church, but many of us in our brokenness seek to get our needs met..

My childhood was anything but ideal. When I graduated from high school, I was very incomplete and broken in many areas. After I accepted Christ as my savior in a small church in Brick Town, NJ, I finally enjoyed wonderful fellowship and family. I was unconditionally accepted, invited and involved with two sisters who included me in their nursing home music ministry. This involvement healed a very damaged area of my life, that of belonging I remember my first year in my new church as nurturing and many of my gifts were used and appreciated. Some areas of rejection and shame were temporally healed. Though my first pastor was disconnected from me and my inner struggles, close friendship with the two sisters gave me dignity and worth.

My bubble of security blew up a year later with the break-up of my church because of our pastors scandalous affairs, The shock left me abandoned and alienated and I floundered for many months in depression. Most of my brothers and sisters were deep in shock, and the newest believers still not fully established in their walks, ended up losing their faith. My grief lasted about a year and I decided I needed to find a new church and move on from the trauma. I ended up in a wonderful Assemblies of God church and resumed my Christ journey. A few sisters from the Brick town church ended up there also and I was joyous to resume fellowship with the. Sadly, that church began to lose members and folded..

My health declined and I ended up losing my apartment and had to find an affordable studio. I was at my wit’s end, desperate for a place. I turned to the newspaper and ended up looking at the companion/live-in assistance section of the Asbury park press. I had two options, but choose to move in and take care of an elderly stroke-victim gentleman who lived in Brielle, NJ. The day of my move in, a neighbor who lived directly opposite my new abode, introduced themselves. They happened to be Christians and invited me to their church. Though I was challenged by the responsibilities of a live-in position, I became part of my new church family.

The pastor of my new church was a gifted musician who owned a recording studio. He led worship at his church and was kind and soft-spoken. I made many new friendship here and hoped to part of the music team. God opened doors for me to minister in music at other churches and coffee houses, but I wasn’t asked to sing with our own worship team. I was very disappointed that my talents in singing were not utilized, but God was faithful in using me at other churches.

In one period of a few months, I had many bookings at church coffeehouses and youth family concerts. My focus was always on Jesus, although I had a flair for fashion. I found that my fashion flair was to be greatly misunderstood and caused me big problems with pastors of the churches I ministered to. I designed most of my stage outfits or wore vintage wear for my performances. As a professional, I knew that entertainers needed to look the part and not blend in with the average looking patrons. .

I was booked to do a concert with a full band at a conservative Nazarene church in Paramus, NJ. I arrived with my musician friend for a meeting with the coordinator of the coffee-house concert series. He was friendly enough and seemed impressed by my ministry bio. He shook my hand and told me how excited he was to have me minister to his congregation the next month.

The concert went well and the next week, another pastor from the sister church also asked me to minister at their coffeehouse. I wore an outfit I though was attractive, but appropriate for their conservative audience. I wore black slim-fitting slacks, a short bolero jacket embellished with gold flowered appliques and a white ruffled gypsy blouse.

The day after my successful concert, my pastor called me. He wanted to have a meeting with me. I wondered what pastor wanted to see me for and thought that perhaps he wanted to compliment me. The day of the meeting arrived and I walked into Pastor’s study. As I took my set opposite his desk, I was noticed the seriousness in his expression. He was quiet for a few seconds and broke the silence.
“Anita, do you like when men look at you?”

The question hit me like a bomb and my face flushed. I was speechless and insulted, wanting to exit at once, but gave him the respect. I asked him why he asked me that.

“I have some concerns. I had two phone calls discussing your concerts at the churches. The pastor said that the young men had a problem with you.”

At this, I felt betrayed and angry, but explained the positive effect I had on the attendees of the concert. I gave an altar call and people were lined up, waiting for prayer. Many signed my mailing list book and wanted to hug me.. Quite a few said my singing so blessed them. I was completely taken aback about the pastors report of me. Why didn’t the pastor speak to me directly if I was offensive to anyone? Pastor continued to question me about my concert

He then explained to me about men and their weakness when they look at an attractive woman. He said that when a Christian woman ministers, she has to try to make sure that men focus on the Lord and not at her attractiveness of her body. He assured me that he was not seeking to tear me down, but that he cared about me and wanted my ministry to be successful. He didn’t like to hear people talking about me in a negative or mistrusting way. That was why he had to straighten me out and help groom me so I could be blessed. Nonetheless, the sting of his words and opinion, so wounded me that I didn’t come to church for several weeks. It took that much time to pray let God work in me and grow from the painful experience

I eventually realized pastor’s intentions and started to heal from the discourse. I had to weed through many lies from the enemy about my worth and value and ignored the subtle condemning words I felt were to tear me down. I took pastor’s chastening as badly as I took my father’s beatings as a young girl. That fragile and deeply rooted wound would haunt harass me for many more years. Pastor was not as harsh as I deduced him to be but because of that stronghold of criticism and rejection, it was hard to separate it from my worth. Some of us, it will take strong and gentle nurturing and counseling in God’s word to reestablish wholeness and self-esteem. But, this deep healing and restoration can only come when we truly want to be delivered from the old painful shackles of our youth!..Many of God’s people are not emancipated because they do not truly want to be delivered. True and permanent wholeness will entail hard and honest daily soul-searching and spending serious alone time in the presence of Holy Spirit!

I have to confess that I rehashed that conversation over and over again in my mind. It took me awhile to let go of the resentment I felt towards the two pastors. I cried in shame and sadness and eventually asked Holy Spirit if there was any merit in pastors words. He was so gentle as the anger melted away. I deduced that it was better to be more m mindful of my wardrobe and what I wore outside the house so that I wouldn’t be a stumbling block for men. I wanted to please my heavenly Father more than anything. I began to be thankful for pastor bringing my dress to my attention. I also made sure to look in the mirror before I left the house to make sure my clothing was not too form-fitting to the point of stirring up unnecessary lust in men who saw me. My attention to this detail of my dress gave way to more carefulness and less concern about looking great. I wanted all the attention to go to the Lord and soul-winning! (I also had to learn not to be overly concerned that it was all my responsibility to not evoke lust in men. Some men were addicted to pornography and they had no desire to curb their flesh).

I had another issue with my pastor several months after my issue with my dress. It had to do with my buying an expensive guitar for my first instrument. I was also growing musically on my newly attained guitar skill. My guitar mentor urged me to go shopping with him and we ended up settling for a finely crafted and very expensive Taylor By this time, I went back to church and resumed fellowship. Pastor was glad to see me and we acted as if nothing had happened between us. My confidant Gregg was also glad to have me back and was happy that I had found fulfillment in my guitar playing and composing. He was upset that pastor and I had a falling out but reminded me that he was on my side. I was disappointed that Pastor still didn’t invite me to lead worship, so I continued seeking opportunities at other churches and coffeehouses. The Lord blessed me with the finances to purchase the Taylor guitar and I brought her to church one Sunday to show a brother on the worship team a new jazz song I had just written. He liked the song and congratulated me on my beautiful new and first guitar. Inwardly, I was bubbling over with joy to have such a beautiful instrument as my first guitar and knew my heavenly Father had made it happen for me.

The next thing I knew, pastor approached me and asked me to see him in his office. I felt trepidation because of our last meeting many months ago and asked Gregg to accompany me. I wanted him to witness our conversation.. Pastor closed the door behind Gregg and me.
“So Anita…how much did that Taylor cost?”

Again, I was stung by his directness.

“A thousand dollars, Pastor…and no tax,” I giggled nervously. He was not impressed.

“How is it that you can barely pay your rent and you need food from the pantry weekly. Why didn’t you get a cheaper one?”

I looked at Greg, whose mouth was open. I felt dashed and whipped again. I couldn’t believe pastor’s lack of happiness for me. So, Gregg and I sat under his chastisement for another half an hour and left feeling like beaten dogs with their tails between their legs! We talked about the conversation all the way to my house and I swore I would definitely not come back this time! Again, his mind was closed as to the details of God’s miraculous provision to buy the Taylor. He was uninterested that God provided by me being hired to do two very upscale and very well-paying private events at the restaurant I worked at. He didn’t give me any credit for my resourcefulness and willingness to work hard, nor my dedication to my musicianship. I felt that he just did not respect me or my talent. It was a hard realization to chew.

That was almost ten years ago. I’ve forgiven my pastor. He remains a true friend today and we both respect each other. God has done a deep work in my heart and in his..

Fast forward five years later, I attended a Messianic Passover event at my former church with my former pastor. He and his wife greeted me. I was happy to be back. After the Passover dinner, Pastor asked to talk to me . This time I wasn’t nervous.

“Anita, I want to apologize for the misunderstanding we had regarding your Taylor guitar. I was wrong to interfere in your business and to be so harsh. The Holy Spirit spoke to me one night and said, “What right do you have to tell her why she shouldn’t have that Taylor guitar”

I was very moved and told him I had no hard feelings and forgot about the issue long ago. I also told him how much I appreciate his counsel as it so helped me to be the woman of God I am today. He seemed very happy to hear that. Recalling that incident, I realize God worked it out for my good. Even after my initial reaction of his comments I forgave and gave it all to the Lord for Him to temper. Now it’s my habit to ask God to show me if there is truth in something someone said to me. I don’t want to miss out on anything that God had for me. My heavenly father always vindicates me if indeed I’m am innocent of an accusation. I still have a good relationship with pastor and thank God to know that there are still pastors who truly care to correct their flock lovingly and in truth.

Chastening is a Necessary Grooming

My experiences and meetings with that pastor taught me not to take criticism so seriously and to the point that their opinion affirmed who I was in Christ learned to give my feelings to Holy Spirit so he could dissect and teach me the true meaning of self-esteem as a child of God. We must learn that holding on to negative emotions is never conducive to healing, restoration and communion with our Father. We need to relinquish bad feelings quickly, so we can walk in peace and unity. Pastors also need learn to communicate openly and lovingly their concerns when they see their people go astray.

When we enter covenant with the Lord, part of our acceptance is His discipline. Many of us come into the family of God with no prior spiritual discipline, nor do we understand the necessity of chastening. Hebrews 12:3-10. Father’s indeed chastened us as seemed best to them, , but He, (Father God) for our profit. Father is grooming us as a bride without spot and wrinkle. In order to be that glorious bride, we must be like Queen Esther who was primed and manicured for her glorious reign as Queen. As we read in the book of Esther, we see the virgins being rigorously prepared for many months with the royal beauty and etiquette regimen. They were being groomed to stand before the king..

2 Timothy 3:16 tells us scripture is given for reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness so that we are thoroughly equipped for every good work. Reproof and correction draw us into right relationship with God and with our brethren. If Holy Spirit does not convict and teach us the right ways, we are not considered His rightful children. We would be considered illegitimate. Every good father seeks to groom and guide his children in ways of virtue and wisdom. My earthly father was overly strict and demanding when I was a young girl, but today, I see that his motives were godly and he wanted his daughters to be highly educated, resourceful and productive members of society. Many of us had cruel or harsh fathers who beat us for no reason. Some of us were baptized in severe dysfunction where even our good actions were misunderstood. We grow up as super sensitive adults and collapsed under the weight of criticism, rejection or misunderstanding.

I remember singing a simple worship hymn when I was a very young believer. It want like this, . “Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord….Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord…and He shall lift you up…higher and higher and He shall lift you up.”

Sometimes when we are unjustly misunderstood, we have to surrender our hurt feelings to the Lord and ask him if there is any truth in words spoken to us. Sometimes, the person who misjudged us was indeed harsh, but we not take it to heart and seek the Lord’s wisdom about it, He will reveal the truth about us. Holy Spirit always leads us into knowledge and wisdom about ourselves and our Father in Heaven

Criticism and misunderstanding are always hard to swallow. My wounds ran deep regarding my unconventional ways of expressing my artistry or faith. I’ve learned that if I am to walk in peace, I have to mellow out and let God temper my anxiety, frustration or feelings of rejection and He does! I’m victoring over the area of weakness self sensitivity so that Father can use it for other sensitivity.

We are in the last days before Christ’s coming. Darkness has clouded many people’s emotions as well as God’s own people. All around us are suffering and wounded people. There is still so much work to do and still too many of God’s people are paralyzed and floundering in isolation and pity parties .There is a time for grief..and a time to move on.

Let us acknowledge the first step in walking in spiritual confidence…that we are adopted into the household of God upon conversion! We have a glorious inheritance a position in Christ. Eph 1:5 tells us that we are the accepted in the beloved and seated with Jesus in the heavenly places. How awesome is that?! As soon as we are born-again, we are fellow heirs with Christ, who is the chief cornerstone and we are living stones of God’s Holy house. We now have a purpose and our calling to be fellow builder of God’s house, 1 Cor 3:9-15 describes the spiritual materials used for our work Some of us will use gold, sliver, precious stones and some of us will use wood, hay and straw in the construction. Some of these material will withstand the heat of God’s holy refining fire, but others, such as wood and straw will be burned. What are you contributing to Father’s house? Christ has given each and every one of His brethren gifts and resources to contribute. We are no longer the recipients of the curses and generational strongholds of our ancestors, but upon our moment of redemption, inherit a new, holy DNA. That is too wonderful to acknowledge,. But so true.

We are a new creation. All things are new. If every new believer were taught this truth about their new spiritual heritage, the church would be thriving and limitlessness advancing the kingdom through passionate soul-winning! Many of God’s people are in bondage to the old nature and strongholds and feeling helpless to do anything about it.

A good pastor or teacher knows how to balance discipline with edifying, the believe can be adequately equipped for every good work! Good communication is essential to smooth out differences and misconceptions about each. Other. I know many church-hoppers who never put down deep roots anywhere because they have been so wounded by former pastors and fellow brethren who misunderstood or judged them harshly. There is no such thing as a perfect church and rest assured that the body of believers is made up of broken, dysfunctional and disillusioned people who were wounded and abused as children. The church is in reality a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints!

Eph 4:11, Paul urges us to be in unity with each other and that God gave gift and callings to His people: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers for the equipping of the saints. That is the marvelous workmanship of the Father. He has ordained that all His children now have a job to do and a precious, Spiritual identity. No one should be floundering around, purposeless and insecure. Though most of us came from a diverse background of infirmities such as childhood dysfunction, spiritual abuse and/or pastoral detachment, we are no longer bound or conformed to the old, enslaving ways. Childhood wounds and abuse strongholds can be as complicated as a surgeon attempting to extricate a dangerous and life-threatening tumor! Many pastors are simply overworked, not attuned or not called regarding the delicate work of deliverance and freedom.

The Holy Spirit has led the way for us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and to walk in the gifts of the spirit. Once we discipline ourselves and learn the appropriate ways of blooming in the fruits of the spirit, we will be on our way to wholeness and spiritual self-confidence! We will no longer be stifled by criticism or chastisement, knowing now that it is to steer us in the direction of holiness. Jesus told us to abide in Him, the vine, for we are the branches. When we abide in love, forgiving each other and walking in peace,, we abide in the vine. We allow Jesus to prune us when we humbled ourselves and let him work out unjust things said and done to us.

What a glorious living house God is fashioning! God’s holy house will be completed when all his people are on the same page of love. When pastors and teachers learn to handle the word of God correctly and apply it where necessary, deeply wounded people will find deliverance, freedom and restoration..They can’t be set free if they are ignorant of their new, changed spiritual DNA.

Top Secret War On Christmas Plans Revealed

It seems we have not learned much from the terrorist attack on 9/11. On that infamous day, the anguished cries of many resounded throughout the land. “Why did God let this happen to us” Immediately afterwards, churches, temples and synagogues were filled with repentant and devastated people humbling themselves before the Yahweh God.

After reading Jeff Edelstein’s piece on the top-secret war on Christmas, I marveled that, number 1, a large portion of the page of a popular New Jersey newspaper could waste space about abolishing Christmas!. Number 2, that the Jews are a very intellectual lot and I marvel that in light of all the political chaos, our national deficit and genocide going on in third world countries the subject of Christmas’s abolishing was a priority!?

As a philanthropic journalist, addressing humanitarian issues on the local, national and international level, I’m getting tired of the violent opposition from atheistic and/or secular groups who adamantly seek to edit and delete every nuance of sacred and Christian references of holidays and influences.

It is time for God’s people to set the record straight: :that our nation was founded on Christian values and the ten commandments. It is time for our leaders to discern deeply the necessity of acquiescing to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who blessed the United State of America with such prosperity, protection and military strength. It is time we learn from history, past and especially the recent past, (the attack on WTC.), that God will continue to allow horrific attacks and destruction if we continue to despise and edit God from our society. Time to read Rabbi Cahn’s book, “The Harbinger.”

Every good and every perfect gift is from Yahweh, the Father of lights. If we despise, reject and push God out of our schools, government and politics, surely He has no covenant responsibility to protect us from terrorists or any violent group!

The next time a demonic gunman assassinates innocent, small schoolchildren (Sandy Hook and Columbine High School) or our own military people are ambushed by terrorists, (Fort Hood), don’t blame God!

My prayer for this Christmas season is for divine wisdom, revelation and peace to illuminate the blinded, deluded hearts of ignorant journalists, reporters and the news media. Whether you believe in God or not, He is still on His throne. He is still watching and everything we do is recording in the Book of Life.

If God’s people do not stand united in unceasing prayer and vigilance, America will fall to a worse terror they have ever known and it will be too late.

In the meantime, I prefer to continue investing my energies in supporting Christian and humanitarian organizations that feed the poor, homeless and visiting the sick and dying. I find no greater joy than counseling broken people to wholeness in love and self-sufficiency. There is plenty of useful work for every one of us to do, (mentoring a child from a broken home, filling needs of single moms and the bed-ridden, etc). If we would concentrate on doing random acts of kindness everyday through love, America will be different! Sadly, Mr. Edelstein’s piece is a tribute to where America is today, languishing in idle nonsense and rebellion against that which is good!

Bad, Worse and Worst, (The Business of Persecution)

Jouranl Entry, (Thanksgiving Week)

Today was a very satisfying day. We had great worship at church and Pastor Sandra gave an uplifting sermon about the business of thankfulness. A few new visitors were in attendance and I anticipated sampling a wonderful array of hot foods at the end of our service. “friends and Family” Brunch was always a treat at our church.

The day draws to an end and as I sit and rest I decided to check my emails before going to bed. A pastor friend emailed me. It read:

Anita, yesterday I saw a photograph of a road in Nigeria filled with dead, bloody bodies, hacked to pieces. The caption read that a radical Muslim group attacked and slaughtered this village of Christians, because of their Christianity. Just a few days ago. To say that God would not allow His own to suffer, is the opposite of what Jesus told us would happen.Martyrdom is taking on a terrible toll in Christianity today. And speeding up its process.

The reality of this horror hit home as I wait for my bathtub to fill for a soothing, hot bath. I thanked God that I could lay in the enveloping warmth, but suddenly grief and disbelief overwhelmed me. I certainly did not want to be reminded of such a horror so far away and on a third world continent. I couldn’t stop thinking about Reverend Michelle’s letter.

Who were these persecuted victims? These were precious people who so eagerly accepted the Gospel at the expense of their very lives. At this very moment, someone, somewhere was running furiously for their very life.I could not help but weep realizing that so often, I lost sight of the persecuted.It was hard to think about it without becoming disturbed, angry and hopeless.
“Father, I want to stop this. I want to stop this evil” I so wanted to stop it all. I was sick of hearing about the most barbaric brutality by demonized monsters. I wept at the thought of going about my business each day, being helpless to do anything. I didn’t think enough about the sufferings of my spiritual brothers and sisters who were being persecuted for the Gospel!

I was glad to get that email. I was glad that I was being nudged to remember how much I have and how far I am at present from such danger. I need to have a wake-up call regularly, so I can continue learning about compassion and active service to victims of disasters and genocide.

I’m reminded to be thankful for having so much in this great country. I wondered about the superlatives: bad, worse, worst. Were the rising statistics of genocide victims God’s perfect will or permissive will? Did whole villages have to be destroyed and every single person murdered? I keep hearing pastors say, persecution is coming…even to America. Like persecution is a good thing?! I can’t imagine that genocide could ever be a good thing even if Jesus prophesied about it to his followers in his discourses.

I don’t think Mother Teresa would accept or laude the genocide pervading the world today. I’m sure it would have killed her. She was such a lover of humanity and healing the lost and broken.

So what is our duty regarding the business of persecution? Here we are praying for revival and the great harvest to come in. Pastor Peter Youngren has been to Indonesia and India and many other Muslim countries where millions are hearing the Gospel, accepting Jesus Christ and being healed! We don’t hear too much about the down side of growing Christianity. Genocide is bad…very bad…actually the worst case scenario I have ever heard of!

It impossible for me to just live my life impotently, (even as a journalist) .in the richness of America. I have to believe that being a true Christian is having the conviction and compassion to address and oppose the evils of genocide, however necessary persecution may be.

Many pious Christians remind us that God sent His very own son to be brutalized for our sins, to redeem us back to Father God. He was led to the cross as a lamb led to the slaughter. Truly the most heinous and unfair assassination in history. But does that call for God’s people to benign lives and turn our back and hearts at the plights of the persecuted brethren?

I pray that the photographs and news reports of our sisters and brother cause us to think. We must utilize every resource we have to tell the enemy, he can’t just do whatever he wants without opposition. We will pray, fast and minister to the victims of natural disasters and genocide. The living, active Bride of Christ, the elect, must not turn our hearts from compassion and rescue to the hunted and tortured brothers and sister in Islamic countries. It is our duty to cry out, protest and stand in defense of the defenseless, regardless of scripture’s admonition to be prepared to die for Christ.

My perspective about persecution changed after watching the movies, “Attack On Darfur”, “Hotel Rwanda” and “Schindler’s List”. I have never been a fan of the hunted not having a weapon to defend themselves or being able to escape without being hacked alive! The terrorists as well as the hunters are nothing but demonic cowards. That is also why I hate deer hunting.
We Christians are in the greatest war of all time. It is time to pick up and wield our spiritual armor against the giants in courageous and victorious manner. It is time to show the enemy he is trampled underfoot, defeated and he cannot cut down God’s people without serious consequences. It is time to deal our enemies the death blows. This is our time. We were groomed for such a time as this…And we will prevail.

My People Perish For Lack of Knowledge

My People Perish for Lack of Knowledge.
A Journey of Spiritual Recovery and Revelation

It’s been quite a roller coaster ride being in the throes of my intense healing regimen as well as looking on helplessly as friends and loved ones struggle for their lives in hospitals and at home. Since my last blog, a friend lost her battle with cancer and another friend survived a brain-tumor surgery leading to his losing his faculties and lying in a pitch-black room with his covers completely shrouding him! My father has been transferred to yet another hospital. His doctors are still at a loss on how to stabilize his high blood pressure which would often suddenly elevate for no reason. At present. he is clinging to his life regarding a clot in his leg. Yesterday, another dear spiritual sister called me from the hospital suffering with an unknown malady.

I wake up each morning and say my special healing prayer with assurance that God hears my declaration of faith! But I’m heart-broken that so many of my Christian friends and family members are enduring great struggles with health and healing. I keep asking Father God for answers and I keep hearing the same refrain… “My people perish for lack of knowledge!

Thinking about all these sickness and the diminished of their quality of lives, I determine to seek wisdom and understanding. I’ve never been one to just accept adverse circumstances, especially when they deal with the break-down of our bodies. Christ remind us that surely we will have trials and afflictions, but He has given us the covenant of healing and restoration. It is His perfect will to be in good health. 3rd John 1& 2

I continue to chronicle and meditate on my spiritual and physical progress. As I research the Bible and medical sites, I continue to seek Holy Spirit’s guidance. I notice one thing in common with all my friends and loved ones when a doctor diagnoses their condition. Most of them implicitly trust in whatever the doctor prescribes, however risky or life-threatening. Now I must reiterate the problem here is not just succumbing to a serious illness, but most of these people made no effort previously to prevent the disease coming on in the first place!

Sadly, my loved ones and friends acquiesced to orthodox medicine’s way of treating disease…with drugs. I refuse to go that route, preferring to allow God’s healing to restore me. Upon seeking Him whole-heartedly, because I know He knows best, I’m gaining more understanding each day. He has been faithful because I have surrendered to His wisdom. It has been a very difficult feat to unravel the mystery of my past emotional traumas and sins meshing with the environmental constituent. Holy Spirit reminds me that body, soul and spirit are all connected. The medical community sorely lacks the understanding of this truth and millions of people are dying. Millions of people have also gotten worse because of prescription drugs. Don’t take my word for it, do your own research.

As I continue to forge forward dissecting truth from the confusing maze of information and spiritual understanding. I pray that you too will uncover the error and wrong mindsets that brought you to this place of physical and emotional breakdown in the first place! Your path and choices may be very different from mine, but I pray that the books, links and materials I share in
The number one area of healing should be to ask God first. Pray and seek Him as never before. He loves you and His Bible has all the answers you need. There are also great Bible teachers who teach the perfect way of Healing through scripture verses. They are your spiritual medicine and must be declared several times a day.

Pray and ask God about medicines the doctor prescribes. I came upon the scripture verses in Gal., 5 19-21. In almost every case, pharmaceuticals are not the best choice for healing. Some may help a serious condition, but after that, other options should be investigated. The following links are very helpful regarding what the Bible has to say about healing.

Another outstanding and Biblically sound link:

I want to stress the most important aspect of this blog…your thinking! Your mind is the key element to your restoration. The Bible says:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”.2 Tim 1:7

The NLT (New Living Translation) translate a sound mind KJV as self-discipline.

Walking in divine health certainly does entail discipline. Daniel and his 3 friends declined eating the fine food and wine at the king’s table and asked to subsist on vegetables and water. Their pure dietary regimen which affected their health proved to the king their wisdom and discipline was beneficial to His service. God allow his people to use their free will.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is beneficial. 1 Cor 10:23 NLT (New Living Translation)

That included choosing what to put in their temples! Many of God’s precious people suffer from illness and die because they refuse to discipline themselves in good nutrition! That is truth and that is fact. We reap what we sow. I am thankful that because of my desire to please my Heavenly Father in all ways, I sought to discipline myself by eating organic, becoming vegetarian, drinking pure water and exercising

Henry W. Wright’s book, “A More Excellent Way to Be in Health, has been an astounding treasure chest of spiritual healing information I have ever read! Henry delves into deepest recesses of our minds, bodies and spirit’s. Here is where I discovered the reference of my emotional mind-sets and how they influenced my health and immune system capability! I discovered that my mind was very sick because of how my mother raised me, how I responded to trauma and how doors were opened for evil spirits to gradually wear me down! Fear is one of the most powerful emotions and invite a host of other damaging perspectives and behaviors.Henry also explains how some people inherit negative behaviors and mind-sets from their parents and ancestors. The only way to realign healthy perspectives and thought patterns is to permeate the mind with the powerful Biblical scriptures. This is how God’s people overcome sickness, disease and death…through a regenerated mind!

Dr Caroline Leaf, Communication Pathologist, who holds a doctorate in Speech and Communication pathology proves that destructive thoughts can cause damage to the dendrites in our brain! Her page, Though Life show how powerful our brains are and what we can accomplish when we choose to think positively!

I’ve also broken some ground through the powerful and anointed ministry resources from Derek Prince ministries. The late Derek Prince, is a highly anointed and compassionate man of God whose demeanor is always straightforward, yet gentle. Because of his ministry, I’m coming to grips with many unconscious traumas from my past that have kept me from walking in all of God’s fullness. Many Christians seem not to struggle with ancestral curses or strongholds, but there are indeed many hapless and innocent children of God who have been enslaved by the sins and transgressions of their parents and grandparents.

Derek’s booklet “Pulling Down Strongholds” is an excellent resource as well as his DVD teaching, “How to be Delivered”. You’ll be very surprised to know that even evangelical, born-again people of God can be demonized, (oppressed) although they cannot be possessed by demons. I highly recommend these materials for anyone who is desperate to heal from an abusive past.

One of the best books on Divine healing, “Healing the Sick” by T.L. Osborne is resplendent with uplifting scriptures, testimonies and Bible truths for the sick or dying.

If you have given up on traditional ways of healing, I guarantee your hope will be rekindled when you surrender your life to the Lord! These resources I’ve shared have so enlightened me regarding the issue of healing. Each day, presents itself with renewed hope as the Holy Spirit remove all my past heartaches, old negative thought patterns and traumatic incidents that scarred me for so long. Discipline yourself to start a new regimen, starting with prayer, praise and quiet time with the Lord. Stay focused. You have to remind yourself, you are forming a new positive, Christ lifestyle. The Holy Spirit will give you new revelation and you find yourself invigorated as His word recharges your drained spiritual batteries!

I have only love, compassion and great excitement for your new life in Christ through His divine healing pattern. I must admit also, that pursuing a music career used to be my focus, but Father God allowed the breakdown of my health to seek Him with all my heart!

I’ve been drawn to the book of Proverbs, one of my favorite books and chock full of ageless wisdom. But Jer. 6:16 fits in with many of the Proverbs

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the
good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.

God tell us, “My ways are not your ways and your thought not my thoughts.” Nothing we could do, think or say could compare with God’s magnitude of wisdom and understanding. The wonderful thing about our heavenly Father is that He is eager and willing to share all of His knowledge and guidance…if we ask Him first!

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

If a child of God wants to be successful, he must make it a practice to ask God first…about everything. The ancient, (Hebrew translation is must seek for the ancient paths ( the original translation of ancient is “heavenly.” So then, everything about God and what he wants to give us is divine…from above. As we allow Christ to transform our minds into His mind,we unlearn the old, futile and negative ways from the world, our parents upbringing and our own ideas. How urgent then it is for parents and teachers to guide children in the ways of God so they can prosper!

As you heal, remember to thank Him…even if it hurts.

It’s kind of funny, that having had a very successful tenure as a teacher of youth at Youth Advocate Program, Eatontown, NJ and behavior modification counselor at Nutri-System weight-loss centers, I am presently apprenticing under the Lord. I’m starting over and re-learning God’s pattern of life, health and success!

I hope to obey God’s word to be tender-hearted and nurture you all in wisdom and love. Many of you have been deeply wounded and have no idea how to break out of your old prison May of you have poor or no information. Many of you have had harsh parents, teachers, pastors, priests or rabbis who led you down the wrong path…of legalistic religion.

I hope to remind teachers to be very careful in our ministry to the fragile souls, (and even with ourselves) as we address deep unconscious areas that need God’s special healing!

We are to be tender-hearted (1 Peter 3:8, 1 Tim 5:1, Eph 4:32) to all. We are called to tell the truth in love.. Oh, how we need good, anointed teaching and good nurturing. Choose carefully who you will learn under. Most of what I’ve learned the hard way is by making my own mistakes The areas of dating/courting, nutrition, health-medicine are sorely lacking.

Know that to be blessed with knowledge and understanding is to be like searching for hidden treasure. Prov. 2 3&4

Derek Prince mentioned in his book that God’s people need to learn to think. That is the mistake most of us make when we become Christians. We seem to lose the ability to think for ourselves when we get under a pastor. That is why it is so important to study God’s word under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and to ask God to learn and grow under a loving and wise pastor! We have to learn to get deep and ask God for the very specifics.

Father I ask for your divine wisdom today for the reader of this post. I declare a divine connection between them and You, Lord. Open up the well springs of your wisdom and knowledge so they can declare your works and majesty. Holy Spirit, guide and enlighten them with all truth. Cleanse every area of their minds and help them to walk in the path of Divine healing starting now. In Jesus’ name, I thank you and pray. Amen!

Slow But Steady Progress

Journal Entry, October 3, 2013
My Journey recovering from Lyme, Dystonia and heavy-metal, mercury Poisoning

I am redeemed from the curse and by Jesus’ stripes I am healed! This is the truth I hold on to each day as I grasp the Lord for my complete wholeness. I continue to make the many changes needed for my complete restoration. This morning, I wake up, thanking Him and praising Him for all He has done. I learned that God loves to her our praises and we appreciate all He has done for us. God despises complainers and I try my best, in spite of the great pain and discomfort, to endure each day.

Yesterday was a day from hell. My appointment to be fitted for a crown with Dr Elizabeth Piela, my holistic dentist. arrived. I don’t have to worry about more toxins entering my body with dental repairs. Dr Piela is thorough, not only highly knowledgeable, but also compassionate. She listens to me when I share my concerns and we brainstorm together for a solution. Quite unlike an arrogant Lyme Disease doctor in Stockton who rebuked my husband when he asked for confirmation that EDTA was good for mercury/heavy metal poisoning chelation. Such is the reality with most doctors, who are very arrogant regarding patients who are well-educated about their illness or condition.

I awoke to yet another beautiful, warm Indian summer day. My right jaw was still sore from over two and a half hours of being pried open for preparation of my crown. I was in agony and almost broke down in tears as my throat and jaw nerves kept convulsed. I couldn’t believe the procedure was taking so long, but doctor assured me it was necessary for the procedure. She gave me several shots in my gums so I wouldn’t feel the pain. I was glad I called a spiritual mother earlier in the day for prayer and agreement that I would have no horrendous pain afterwards. I thanked Jesus over and over each second we counted down for the mold to harden for my molar crown. Many thoughts flooded my mind as Dr worked on me. I was angry that the enemy had so attacked my body and teeth over the years and that my progress was so slow.

Continuing her work, Dr mentioned that magnetic detox clay did wonders for mercury. I could have slapped myself, because hubby Mark had purchased a supply for me, but I was always so overwhelmed with my protocol that I kept forgetting! I vowed to apply my clay as soon as I got home to speed up the detox process of my jaw, gums and neck.

There were a myriad of issues I had to deal with every day. The pain factor was the greatest, with the Right jaw being almost dislocated. Then I had the anxiety of not knowing when my teeth were going to chomp down on my poor tongue. Most days, both sides of my tongue were riddled with bumps from where the teeth cut through. Those times that the tooth cut deep and I bled profusely. I screamed at the top of my lungs and cried out loud for about ten minutes. I seemed to take forever for the pain to subside. Every time it happened, I asked God. “Why is this body behaving this way? Is there anybody else on earth enduring such a hell where her mouth, teeth and teeth are her worst enemy? And when will this end?”

I faithfully prayed in faith, wept and searched online for testimonies or stories of other Dystonia, Lyme and heavy metal poisoning victims experiences with recovery. I’ve yet to find anyone with these bizarre and tormenting symptoms, making me all the more isolated and disheartened. I could easily deal with the toxicity, but daily dealing with such pain every moment is almost excruciating. If it weren’t for my relationship with my Heavenly father, Jesus and Holy Spirit I surely would have fallen deeply into depression or been committed.

So, after enduring over two and a half hours of my mouth being pried open, Dr Piela fitted my molar with a temporary crown. I felt so weak from the procedure, that I asked Father God for extra help again to drive home.

So this morning, as I wake up to face yet another day, I start weeping, asking for God’s help and seeking to look deep within myself to free up my body, mind and spirit from any toxic residue. My research about mind-body connection continues as I learn from Dr Caroline Leaf how negative thoughts and emotions from the past take deep root in even our subconscious mind! I know as I continue to soul-search search and address old attitudes with the Holy Spirit, I’m getting freer and freer. But, it’s a taxing process. I vow to completely conquer rejection, abuse and trauma issues from my past. I am going upward and moving forward because Christ has paved the way for me to be fully delivered and vibrant!

Despite all this agonizing, “turtle-slow” progress, I declare

“Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

I’m called to be the poster child of mysterious, undiagnosed and environmental illness being totally healed by the stripes of Jesus Christ. I’m paving the way in the new frontier of illness that may be bio-engineered in nature.

Many questions remain unanswered as I fumble towards total wellness. I know for a certainty that My Heavenly father will never give me more than I can handle. This challenge entails a steadfast trust, faith and action in Him! This battle is not only a physical, but a spiritual where I must be in position to merge all the Biblical truths-promises with the medical-scientific components! This is truly challenging for one who has no mentor to learn from!

This blog-journal entry is quite different and even more specific than any I have ever written, probably because there is so much at stake. We are in such times where many hapless people and children are suffering greatly and where orthodox medicine has failed in it attempts to heal!

Truly, today, this generation desperately needs the most spiritually (Christ-enlightened) holistic healers. Only the pure, refined temperance of the Holy Spirit can completely make whole those with spiritually rooted or bio-engineered illnesses. Christ warns us in Matthew chapter 24 of the hosts of darkness which will come and deceive the nations, doctors and scientists to ensnare and trick the population into thinking they will be healed and free. There is no darkness in Christ at all, for His wisdom is pure. New Age has beguiled us into thinking we are our own healers.

(This blog seems to be writing itself) so, I share this journal entry with parents whose children are suffering from autism, with grown children whose parent is dying from PSP, (another degenerative and incurable movement disorder) and with those who have neurological conditions of which there is no cure or relief. These are medical-spiritual maladies that we must delve deeply into and unravel, rather than putting on a useless band-aid of pharmaceuticals which only mask the symptoms. I believe healers are entering an age of enlightenment never before entered. Natural healers and physicians must be very careful about who they are learning from.

Yahweh God has all the answers despite the claims of the “Illuminated Ones.” angels from the dark side are disquieted as angels of light. Yahweh never reveal His uncontaminated wisdom to the arrogant, selfish and demonic who wish to market and sell (in the black markets) at huge profits. Those pure ones in the medical community who truly seek the healing of the hopeless suffering will be the ones whom our Creator God will grant great successful medical and spiritual exploits!

It is for this reason, I share my journey with you!

I pray you, (gifted and compassionate physicians) and patients suffering a catastrophic illness will ask Father God and Jesus Christ, who created your body, mind and spirit in perfect union with Him. It is only in Him where we will find perfect rest and peace. It is only in the shelter of His wings where we will find true refuge, Psalm 91 1&2 Those who put their full trust in Him shall not ever find themselves in slavery to dark influences. Christ said “Come to me all you that are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” mat 11:28

Are you weary today? Are you suffering with a mysterious or bio-engineered illness? Jesus Christ, the ultimate healer is the answer! Only through Him are all mysteries revealed and perfect healing manifested. God bless you as you give him the ropes, follow His leading, adjust your lifestyle-emotional habits and diet do everything in your power to be whole!

Expect a miracle…in Jesus’ name!

Previous Older Entries


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 256 other followers