Dystonia, Tourette’s Syndrome & “Movement” Disorders and the TMJ Connection

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After  watching so many You  Tube videos of precious people suffering from  Tourette’s Syndrome, Dystonia and other movement disorders, I’ve decided to  include  “Movement” Disorders advocacy and information to my other health categories. Since suffering from TMJ-Dystonia for ten brutal years, I can no longer allow this  mysterious, vicious and often disabling neurological condition to disrupt and hinder my life. I vow to also  share valuable information, treatments and excellent doctors with everyone.

I cannot help but grieve for the enormity of  suffering and loss of quality of life, my movement disorder brethren suffer each day. Many of us  abide in prisons of extreme pain-discomfort,  embarrassment, isolation, depression and at time we grapple with losing  hope of ever  having a normal life. We avoid going out in public because people do not understand why our movements and loud voices have to be so disruptive.Some of our postures are downright bizarre and our movements erratic. Some of us spew profanities and we are often housebound

 Drugs often do little to give us relief or diminish the intensity of our uncontrollable movements, though most choose to use drugs in the hope that any day they will get better. My decision to discontinue prescribed pain-killers and pharmaceuticals ended a month after my first diagnosis. The muscle relaxers did nothing but make me spacey, apathetic and  drowsy. I finished my bottle and that was the end of it. Since then, my husband and i have chased many rabbit holes to find the root cause o my mouth-jaw spasms. Some of you may be asking. “Why not Botox or Deep Brain Stimulation surgery”? I am an ordained minister- prayer intercessor and Psalmist-Composer-Singer.  To create, produce music and  compose expositors, I must have a very lucid mind unhindered by any drugs.


It took almost nine years  researching the web, to find someone who could accurately address my  spasming mouth-jaws. I saw several You Tube videos from renowned  TMJ Specialist, Dr Jeffrey Brown, TMJ-Sleep Apnea center in Falls Church,  When I showed my husband, Mark, Dr. Browns and Dr Stacks, treatments he balked. It would be a burdensome expense. But the jaw misalignment had gotten to the point where it affected my sleep, my ability to even focus clearly on my creative productivity and even taking care of my house. I was in constant pain and the jerking, clenching-unclenching of my mouth was beyond anything I could endure..  Were it not for my strong relationship with Christ, I would have succumbed to  nervous breakdown!


Ir was getting harder and harder to endure the incredible pain in my now left jaw also  One day, my mouth was forcing itself to open so wide, the stress on my jaw joint was staggering to the point, I would pass out. I sobbed in and told Mark, I had to make an appointment with Dr brown. I was willing to travel any distance and though it would be a very costly investment, I was one I could not afford to invest in!

I watched more of Dr brown and Dr Stack’s You-Tube videos and was astounded at how successfully, the Tourette’s and TMJ Dystonia people responded. Indeed, their was something about that special mouth appliance that helped to re-align the jaw joints and helped to  decompress pressure on the facial and neck nerves.

So, Mark and i finally made the 3 hour drive to Falls Church. Dr Brown was kind enough to schedule my appointment,  the fitting of my mouth piece and its delivery all into one day, other wise we would have to go home to New Jersey and come back the very next day, which would have been too much for Mark since he was driving. I was so relieved that I could get relief from the bone on bone pain each day and the prevention of much bone spurs..

I continued my own  researching lower facial-jaw anatomy and how the jaw joint misalignment causes other issues, such as lose of cartilage. I found health websites that said that bone broth and gelatin helps. to rebuild cartilage. Dr Brown also told me to eliminate all dairy because it contributed to calcium loss! Now i understood how high calcium intakes caused by bones to lose calcium. I was very disappointed about my new diet wouldn’t include my former favorite cheeses and my twice weekly warm milk to get me to sleep before bed. My appetite was already poor because of being stressed and depressed about my jaw pain. It would be a new challenge to embrace a dairy-free diet and also get enough protein. Time for us also to not take serious our government guidelines lied to us and said dairy was bone-strengthening.’s nutritional guidelines.

It’s been around three months wearing this mouth appliance. I continue o declare my healing prayers each day and keep a positive outlook and attitude, knowing that nothing is impossible with God. He is more than able to completely  recreate new articular jaw joints,  cartilage and ligaments. I found several women on You Tube who received miraculous miracles of healing from God!  Without hearing these testimonies, I’m sure I would be in a deep depression.

Bridgette healed of TMJ!


Minister Becky Dvorak also has an anointed healing ministry and she explains how a child of God can receive their healing.


The next two videos show two y6oung men, patients of Dr Stack and TMJ Sleep Apnea Center, of which Dr Jeffrey Brown has now taken over. The TMJ-Dystonia symptoms I suffer from are very similar to  except I don’t have the vocal tics and grunting.  It’s hard to imagine these young guys dealing with these violent spasms all day.

The uncontrollable movements not only affect me socially but socially as well. I’ve denied many invitation from my husband to get out of the house and enjoy the beautiful, warm day at the flea market,  I just didn’t care to deal with the embarrassment of people staring at me while making ugly facial grimaces.

The two young men have had several successful adjustments with Dr Stack and have their lives back. There are many on the Facebook Dystonia groups who would greatly benefit from Dr Brown’s expertise in addressing jaw and facial misalignment.  This next link will take you inside the jaw misalignment connect as Dr Jeffrey gives us a lesson on  TMJ jaw joint anatomy.




As I continue aspiring to minister and serve victims of domestic violence, troubled youth and the elderly as well as successfully marketing  my color photo-journaling books, beaded jewelry, fashions  and  Christ-help books, I make every effort to share what I’ve learned and recommend the amazing services of Dr Jeffrey Brown.  This man has been compassionate and cares about his patients. Unlike other doctors and specialist who treat  all their patients alike and with little special  attention, Dr Brown, tailors His  treatments  for each unique patient. TMJ Dystonia sufferers from all over the United States and some even travel from out of the country for his treatment.

Dr Jeffrey Brown

Sleep & TMJ Therapy
2841 Hartland Road Suite 301
Falls Church, VA 22043   703-821-1103-


I hope after reading this blog and watchi8ng the videos, you will seriously consider your next step and journey into healing and getting your life back. I have the added blessing of calling out to my Heavenly Father, Jehovah, Rappha, my Healer and His precious son, Jesus Christ, Yahusha, who took our sicknesses and infirmities upon His own back, so that we can experience healing and restoration. I offer you the invitation today to accept Christ as your Savior and call upon Him to heal your disease-condition. Call upon His name and in the meantime, if you’re still suffering, God uses Dr Brown to help people today!

God Bless you and Shalom..on your healing journey.

Setting the Atmosphere


Your Influence on the World,
Journal Entry Monday, July 31, 2017

Today, I awoke to thoughts about mercy. A myriad whirlwind of thoughts about various scenarios and their results. swirled around my mind.  I remembered a moving testimony on Lynn Leahz program. A man wrote in to share his testimony of encountering Jesus. As a young boy, his parents raised him to be a Christian and he accepted Jesus as His Savior. As he got older, His love for Jesus diminished and he joined his friends in partying and revelry. He became promiscuous and lost all interest in the things of God.

Suddenly one night, he felt a strange disorientation and a forbidding. He felt his body separating and was taken across the universe. Then he found himself standing before Jesus. Jesus exuded indescribable love, yet also great disappointment. Then Jesus gazed deeply into his eyes and soul.  “I’m going to show you different scenes from your life..” Steven’s whole life then appeared before him as on a screen. One scenario in particular is familiar to me.

Waiting in a long line at a grocery store used to be one of my pet peeves and even more so as I’ve had to deal with incredibly, painful spasms from the fluorescent lights and stimuli of the sprawling grocery.  I used to grumble and complain, but now, I’ve disciplined myself to try my best to be gracious and smile as often as I can. I’ve heard many testimonies from devoted Christians who say that a smile, a kind word or action changes the whole atmosphere of a person’s demeanor and day.

In Steven’s case, an old lady kept bumping her cart into his lags and he was blasting her. As Steven watched himself in the film before him, he was aware of everyone’s thoughts. He could hear the old lady worry., “I don’t feel well. Am I having a heart attack? ”Did I take my medication today? “Lord I had no idea” Of course you didn’t Steven because you were not in me. Jesus said, Son, you had sinned on may levels. You were rude and thoughtless to her. You cursed her and finally and most importantly, you didn’t tell her about me.”

Fresh revelation came to me this morning, as I prepared myself to await Father’s instructions “Father, what would you like to show me today and what is your pan for me today?” This quiet mediation and devotion time has not always been this way for me. Even in my early years as a Christian, the habit would be to wake up, have my coffee and rush forward towards the day.  Mostly, this manner  led endless days of mediocrity . Something was missing, but I could not see what.  Even though these past ten years of suffering this TMJ-Dystonia has been difficult and draining beyond belief, I tell Father, “I trust You!” Some days I can barely stand the pulling  of my throat muscles which pull at my jaw joints and which sometimes strangles me and cuts off the oxygen.  Father will never exempt any fragile and weak moment or circumstance to yield good fruit!  As I cry for relief  and to be released from this season of partial disablement, I marvel in expectation to see how He will bring all this suffering and loss of my time, (in evangelizing).. for His great Glory.


Oh…the beauty of being still…and knowing He is God.  Many of us don’t realize how priceless our listening time with God is and how few of us realize the necessity to be still and listen. Many of us piously grab our bibles and commentaries and study..but not necessarily about searching our heart for His purity and childlikeness. . We are too busy disguising our minds from the reality of the subtle, yet ugly hidden sins we deem insignificant. As in Steven’s video we saw how his anger  and cursing the old lady was indeed sinning.  Many of us are unaware of sudden manifestations of our sin nature and strongholds of our minds. We think  resentment, lack of mercy, exactingness, ( insisting others live up to our expectations and in our timberline) fits of anger, self righteousness, need for controlling others,  pride, (refusing to say I’m sorry)  and hatred.

As I listened to Steven”s story,  I recalled  times, not too many years ago, when en route and late to a gig, I would go ballistic because a driver’s speed was not to my satisfaction. I would get angry if his slow speed would get me stopped at a red light, while he drove forward. Sometimes, I’d yell, “You, idiot! Get out of my way”. I am ashamed to admit it, but my transparency is your gain! Recently,  I remember as recently as last year, blurting out, “BIRD BRAIN!”  Oops. Immediately felt convicted. “I’m SO sorry, Father” Forgive me and I bless that person”

Complaining is sin. We can bend over backwards and drive our best buddy anywhere despite our exhaustion of a long week of grueling overtime, yet if our wives need to be driven to the doctor, we let her know we despise it! We wonder why our co-workers seem repulsed by our preaching, yet we continue to scrutinize, (while disdaining) the quality of their work or their inability adapt to our idea of excellence. How about wives who spend hours going to get their nails done or shop, spending hundreds of dollars on each spree, yet can barely sacrifice and make their husband a wonderful home cooked meal? How about parents whose lives revolve around working  countless hours of overtime to buy new toys and gadget, yet neglect nurturing and listening to their children. Life seems a breeding ground of dysfunction and no one really understands why relationship are amiss and disappointing..

How blessed we are when Holy Spirit lovingly convicts us. Truly. blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. As I continued thinking about Steven’s story,  I thanked Father for His mercy to me regarding all my self-righteous and pious demeanor at times. I’m grateful when I get that little nudge that a spirit of pride has taken residence in my heart.  Time to kick him out. I know I could never be righteous apart from Jesus and can never live up to His perfection and mercy.

Let’s talk about anger now.  Anger is rooted in some kind of fear. Anger shows his face in many ways and circumstances, (rooted very deep since childhood and even as far back as  in infancy and a fetus). There are may manifestations of anger.  During a conversation, when we feel intimidated, we react with a posture of defensiveness or vindictiveness. We get angry and take it personally when a co-worker messes up a project or schedules. We respond to the problem with sarcasm and  disdain, rather than asking God to intervene and help vindicate. Sometimes we are so arrogant that we blame everyone who makes a mistake as planning trouble. Here is a spirit of fear, (of losing the job, being demoted or being written up by a supervisor). We all have our excuses for  blasting people, but in God’s eyes, there is no excuse. Did we ever think that others have days were they are slow, confused, overwhelmed, by lack of sleep or troubled? When we think we can read people’s minds and judge their motives, we need to address this attitude as arrogance and renounce it. Oh, how we are so led astray by our hearts. The heart is deceitful above all things. Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

The bottom line is, I’m sorry, is the answer for ll our sins. Not I’m sorry to relieve our consciences, but repentance that a relationship was breached and tainted by our own selfishness, pride and/or fear. Even if we feel we are innocent, there is nothing more healing to the spirit of a offended child, spouse, friend, co-worker and God. I’m sorry humbly said after a disagreement of mistake can mean the difference between a chaotic and miserable day or one that is covered with mercy and love.

Rob Morrissette, in hi insightful deliverance book,  Pray Through It, says it is not so much our reactions and feelings which are sinful, but our response to the wrong. Do we fight fire with fire, tit for tat?. Are we vindictive and harbor a deep anger, erupting in a fit of rage? If we are to engage our culture in a Christ manner, we will understand the significance of setting an atmosphere of mercy and grace to others when they make mistakes.  I’ve had days when I was cursed, harshly criticized or condemned and my whole week was ruined. It can be hard to rise up out of someone’s curse. I’ve also encountered making mistakes and being responded to with great kindness and mercy. This gave me a attitude of gratitude and i was able to pray for all involved and saw God’ work miraculously! Everyone was blessed!

We are as the pebble thrown into a still pond. Our responses to painful or negative events undulate outward into humanity, changing the very timberline of life!


Heavenly Father, I ask you to help me be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Help me, Holy Spirit, to have the mind of Christ. Help me to respond patiently  and with mercy those who are having a bad day, not doing their job properly or are constantly in physical pain. Let us imagine that that slow driver may have lost their loved one or had to put their pet to sleep today. They shouldn’t be driving, but they are. Maybe they received a bad doctors report about their tests. They have Cancer and have eight months to live. Perhaps, someone’s house burned down or they were fired from their job. I do not know what a person is going through or grappling with, so help me to be merciful, gracious and have an attitude of healing grace.  Help me to be sensitive and ready when there is an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus and His love for them.  Help me to be so in You, that I am sensitively intune to react as Jesus would.  Help me to catch myself when I suddenly react with defensiveness, fear or self-defense,  rather  than being humble and eager to quickly restore peace and lightness and peace in a conversation or relationship. With your help, I can reverse the negative emotional stronghold which have  hindered my joy and peace for many years and even many decades. With God…all things are possible.If I am willing, Father, You are able! Two special words, “I’m sorry” will bring  true repentance and healing to the one I unintentionally hurt. Help me to be led by  Holy Spirit and especially Lord, help me to learn to Be Still and know you are God…so I can hear your small voice which  gently convicts and corrects me so I can truly radiate the love and mercy of Christ, In Jesus precious name I pray, amen!


Justice For the Children

PIZZAGATE. I wondered what is was about and what it had to do with Pizza. I decided to investigate Pizza gate and was shocked that a word as inviting and scrumptious as Pizza is used to describe a  blood-thirsty, dehumanizing and underworld  activity of the elite and our highest government officials.  After watching a few videos from the reputable sources, such as The Hagmann & Hagmann Report and Info Wars, I became angry that so few reporting agencies even mention the PizzaGate human violation. Why is no one talking about it?

The more I research,  the more I wondered why most of our fellow countrymen and particularly parents, educators and law enforcement was not in a national uproar.


Upon further investigation, I’m finding horrors stories from victims of this pedophile atrocity and I am sickened that anyone could have anything to do. Victims range from very small children to young women to be used in sacrificial rituals I will present this blog with videos which will speak the truth about this perverted practices. May we be shaken and convicted to move in urgent action to stand in the gap for these precious victims. As a journalist and musician, I cannot ignore Pizza Gate anymore and it is my duty as a youth-child advocate to educate everyone about child sex-trafficking. We can no longer  bury our heads in the sand and be preoccupied with our music endeavors, families and lifestyles. If we are a nation under God, we must cry out to God, repent and stop all evil abuses against our people.




The weight was becoming so crushing that Barbara could barely  breath

I got off of my tread mill, at the telephones’ ringing and heard my precious sister Barbara’s voice, weak with grief.  She was grieving for her son, Adam and it was a very difficult time for her. I was grateful to be  available for her and listened as she poured out her heart to me. Feelings of protectiveness came over me like a mother bear seeing her cub being threatened.  I knew the enmey was trying to drag her backwards into the depths of bondage.  I waited for Holy Spirit to download instruction on how to minister to her.

I felt a very heavy burden of anguish and then I asked her to rest and be still because I was going to release a song over her. The inspiration of lyrics came to me the past Saturday because of a burden for my three younger sisters who were are battling weights from their past. As I was checking my emails, I saw a dear prophetic brother who wrote that Holy Spirit had told him I was going to write another song. I grabbed my pen and within 5 minutes I wrote  “Enter My Rest” Holy Spirit reminded me  of  Hebrews 4:11Let us therefore strive to enter into His rest.

I could feel a spiritual tug of war going on with Barbra, but I told her I felt to sing Shalom over her. the new song,  Enter my Rest and Beautiful Daughter. Holy Spirit was showing me that Abba wanted her to  let go of all the weights..and rest in him. Then He showed me a performance anxiety spirit was pulling her. So we prayed together against the spirit.    I saw that we indeed were in a tug of war. Yashuah Jesus, Barbara and I were on one side of the  rope and the  demonic spirits at the other end. We continued to pray and we took authority over the spirits. .

As we were waging warfare,  standing firm, we felt the noose was loosening. Barbara prayed and then started singing Hallelujah, we sing hallelujah. I joined in and we were singeing prophetically.

hallelujah. We sing hallelujah,  We sing hallelujah to our King

You release us to the skies, cause we are butterflies.

We are soaring into glory.. He releases us into the skies

We soar on weightless wings and look into our Father eyes,

All of a sudden, Barbara laughed and she was light with exhilaration. Father helped her to break through. It was so delightful, she suddenly burst out that she saw a vision of millions of Monarch butterflies being released. WOW! was all I could say!

Truly, Barbara’s received a glorious breakthrough and fresh  anointing of her ability to see visions. We were enthralled at the fresh unction of confidence and strength Father had given her and we marveled at how Father is so near His children when they are broken-hearted.

During my prayer over Barbara, I also  reminded her  that Yashuah had already set a banquet table for us to dine on His exquisite delicacies of mercy and grace, among many others.  Though He invites us and often we come in shabby clothes and   broken as paupers, he garbs us in  pure white wedding gowns, spotless in His blood.  Sister Barbara and all my precious brothers and sisters, let us fall back into His hammock of love after you have confessed your sins and weaknesses! Release and rest!

“Enter My Rest” Holy Spirit reminds us in  Hebrews 4:11.  Let us therefore strive to enter into His rest. For some of us, we may need to ask God’s help to discipline ourselves from the stringent bondage of work and striving. God is faithful..He hears our cries and will surely help!


 Isaiah 55:1
Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink–even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk–it’s all free!

 When I was a very young believer, fronting our Christian hard rock band, The Promise with my then boyfriend, lead guitarist, Chris, Isaiah’s words leaped at my heart. The call was so compelling that we wrote “Are  You Thirsting” for our band repertoire’s opening call.

  Many today are thirsting and many others do not even realize their  frenzied searching for truth and dabbling in the occult is a cry for truth. My prayer is that the compelling videos included here in my blog today  will be the answer you are searching for. I especially challenge my Jewish brothers and sisters to look up in your prayer time and ask Father Jehovah to reveal the truth once and for all.

 In these last days,  God’s Clarion call rings out to all across the globe.
May these wonderful videos move your heart  that Jesus Yashiach  HaMaschiah is the risen and glorious son of the most high God.
Behold he is risen from the dead and has given us all the authority over satan and his  cohorts. Behold, the harvest is white for the reaping of which Father God is equipping and anointing His children to do His business. Father has given us a reprieve and we must be about our work quickly. Now is the time for salvation. Now is the appointed time for all to come to the cross. Our God has opened up the doors of hidden wisdom and revelation and His people must  take advantage and declare the way of the Lord to every people, tongue and nation. In times past, truth was sealed, but God has chosen to use modern technology to show the hard-hearted and doubtful that His Son,  has truly come and risen from the grave to give us eternal life and salvation.
 Heavenly Father,  we beseech thee with broken and humble hearts.  Help us be unified, all of us  standing in the gap for the lost. Lord of heaven and earth, creator of the universe. be merciful for those who have been led astray.  bring your precious Jewish people back into Your fold, their glorious destiny. We declare open hearts and open minds to be illuminated by precious Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh . We thank you for Your harvest, in Jesus name, amen.


DSCN3556 John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Journal Entry, March3, 2017

My quest to find answers to the tormenting mystery of the JAW-mouth Dystonia continues. Each hour, I continue to rely heavily on Father giving me the strength to endure, uncomplainingly. My seasonal job, delivering telephone books door-to-door, started last week and my body is weary. from the windy-cold and the physical exertion.  Unlike  several years ago, when I bitterly complained to Father that I should be on tour with my incredible band. I told him, how hard it was to have do such humbling work when He had blessed me with such talent. And then the added grief of being misunderstood, alienated from wonderful fellowship and dealing with a tormentically distracting movement disorder was more than any human to bear. Even now, the pain in my (now also)  left jaw is painful and  I can barely stand to do anything. The past nine years of this  horrendous disorder (and the thought that there is no reversal for the damaged joints should cause me to sink into utter depression). Honestly, it has been lonely beyond belief and at times, I deem my small music-compassionate outreach, Brave Flame Productions-Outreach a thankless job, (at times). I am a very social person and  cherish the camaraderie of friends and loved ones being emotionally and spiritually connected with me.

Nevertheless, I realize that this ongoing suffering has brought about great change in my spiritual outlook and Father’s glorious workmanship in my life. This realization had brought me to create my 5 part-series journalism-color photographs and devotional series, ARISE FROM YOUR GRAVE. It has also compelled me to record and produce songs for two concurrent albums, a prophetic rock , Mod Prophet and a worship album, The Anointing, (His presence). One would expect that the result would be a publishing book deal and distribution or at least interest in the recorded works.  My book series still await  publication and my albums are still incomplete.

I wait upon the Lord, for He will renew my strength. What strength? For any passionately creative person in the midst of projects, there’s always the hope of success and renown. For the child of God, renown would be being sought after for the expertise of the skill. There is dealing with the disappointment of struggling financially and/or having few customers-patrons. So, I tell Father, more than anything… I wish to be in His perfect will.

This prayer brought me to place and realization of the precious treasure of His presence and company. In this quiet place of seeking Him above even success in my creative endeavors, He shows me what he truly values as spiritual wealth and abundance.

Each morning, as I arise to consciousness, I’ve disciplined my spirit to mediate on several verses. I have had to train myself because the left jaw is so violently  spastic that I awoke several times during the night in great pain. I didn’t want to succumb to anger or bitterness as I had with my past Lyme Disease battle in 1992.

Psalm 19:14

14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Once awake, I ask Holy Spirit to order my steps and  focus me on what scripture He wants me to meditate on.  During the next hour, He will show me someone who needs a prayerful phone call, a hand-made card or care package. Yesterday, a Christian sister’s name popped into my spirit. I said, “Okay Abba, I will call Jackie, (not her real name)”


When .I called Jackie, she replied, “That is amazing, Anita. I was thinking of you just yesterday and i was going to call you.” She asked me how I was doing with my jaw-mouth situation and I immediately gave her details of how I thought I was stopping my own healing. I slipped more often than I’d liked, saying  things like, day , “I can’t do that because of this disabling TMJ-Dystionia.” Lately, I was at least catching myself in mid sentence and repenting and saying, I am healed.” Jackie  admitted she was also speaking sickness over herself., her lungs and poor breathing. Jackie’s lungs had deteriorated so bad in the past year that she was on oxygen all day! I was thankful, that though my jaw-throat situation was very painful and distracting, at least I could drive and walk around freely. Jackie then confessed that during her seeking prayer to God about her suffering, she had deep, unresolved grief about her childhood and past.

I was astounded hen she mentioned her deep grief because i  was presently getting victory over my own many losses by reading a wonderful deliverance book, Pray Through It  by Rob Morrisette. The author was very detailed about the traumas and strongholds of his counselees and I was getting freer and freer reading about the victorious testimonies of the people.  Rob’s counseling manner was very detailed and he stressed bringing every painful incident to God in prayer and asking for healing. Jackie was very excited and wrote down the name of the book. I also shared with her about my joy of participating on the conference telephone line several hours each day with passionate prayer warriors across our nation. I told her how strengthened I was in their company and the powerful anointing of their prayers. She admitted to feeling judged around other brethren  and I felt she was constrained by a spirit of unworthiness. Jackie also took down the conference prayer call number and I prayed with her.

At the end of our discourse, Jackie was in tears and prayed for me. She thanked God for me being obedient God had put me on her heart the day before, but she didn’t call and was grateful that I was spiritually sensitive. I was deeply humbled and broken that Father was so gracious to even use me in such a way..to build up and strengthen my precious sister who  said she felt she was backslidden!

This call was a confirmation that I was  right where Father wanted me to be, sitting in his love and waiting for direction. My direction happens to be the gift of edifying, building up my brothers and sisters who feel broken  weak and unworthy.  Father is not so concerned about my creative endeavors, (however God-inspired they are) but about developing intuitiveness to the needs and brokenness of my brethren. In order to have sensitivity to ascertain that my brother and sister needs tenderness, encouragement or a tangible need, (such as rent money or groceries), I need to stay deeply connected and deeply compassionate, however rough or irresponsible they may seem. I’ve desperately longed for patience, long-suffering and understanding about my weird  movement (with loud voice) disorder and have often been judged harshly and misunderstood. But Father has used these painful times so I can learn long-suffering and kindness.  Separating myself unto Him and worshiping with a thankful heart has borough me to precious places of surrender, where I can give out of a pure heart. Though my physical reserves, (my energy) seem limited, my capacity to  love has so increased. Father is nurturing my capacity to love deeper than a surface level. If I encounter relationships were a brethren seems difficult, a nuisance or unpleasant to be around, I ask Father to remind me that there may be deeply-rooted generational issues or traumas from childhood and up.

The Pray It Through, book  has been eye-opening resource to delve deeply into the hearts of my brothers and sisters and where Father can groom me to love, not just in word and deed, but true empathy! I believe this is what causes strife and rejection in the body. We say we love  (and pray for) our brother or sister from afar, yet we will not come forth in honesty and reason at the table with them and our Heavenly Father.

I pray that my brothers and sisters take a deeper look at their season of suffering and submit it to our Abba. He will show us how he is breaking down ideologies of tradition, religion and even relationships, (as the secular arena perceives them). Our ways are not God’s ways and our thoughts are not His. He uses the weak, broken , ugly things, and even small, insignificant (according to the world’s standards) ministries.

He has made everything beautiful in His time. Ecc 3:11

When mega-churches and mega-ministries crumble at His glorious appearance because they did not minister to the orphans, widows and  foreigner, those ministries build on His compassion will thrive and be the lighthouse to the nations!

Let us remember that the temporary sufferings and lacks are not worthy to be compared with the glories which await us in heaven! be encouraged my brother and sister! God sees and he is pleased.


Miles Davis is one of the greatest Jazz  trumpeters-composers of all time, but this blog is not so much about Mile’s transcendent talent as it is his keen insight, intuition and sensitivity.

For me to appreciate Jazz and be so influence by this eclectic and sometimes complicated genre of music, is a true testimony to God’s desire to give good gifts to his children. I had no musicians in my family, but as a young girl, I had an uncanny gift to be able to know harmony. I loved to sing but had no idea I would have such a love of composing, experimenting with chords and playing my guitar quite many years later. So this jazz thing continues to compel me and my appetite for the scrumptious diminished, flatted fifths and major/minor chords teased my ear. My jazz artistry really grew, working with the incredible Calabrese brothers David and Michael.

Jazz became more and more a part of me and even though I was nursed on rock.  As lead vocalist, fronting my first Christian hard rock band, The Promise with lead guitarist, Chris Durante, I wanted to fuse the complex, sophisticated chords of Jazz with the power of Rock. Chris happened to be on the same wavelength as I and we composed many enduring collaborations whcih fused hard rock with Blues and jazz, thanks to jazz drummer. Tom Hill. When I learned the guitar, the sky was the limit for me and I wrote my first jazz song a month after learning the guitar!

God must have created me to be a jazz girl because the more my ear yearned for the gorgeous, unconventionality of Jazz, my appetite was continued quenched by fining jazz artist on the wonderful Christian music network, Indie heaven, founded by Keith Mohr. At Indie heaven, independent Christian artists could network and find a platform for their music.  being  jkazz-0folk female singer-songwriter, I connected with two of Indie heaven’s amazing Jazz ladies, Celeste Talley,  a sweet songbird crooner and Kerensa Grey, whose sultry, thick ,molasses voice that set all the dudes at ease. We had our prime star Drew Davidson, making a big name for himself all over the east coast.

Though it’s been hard to find a place for my Joni-Mitchelly voice and guitar style, I expect to find my niche…some day


And today, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kerensa’s post last year. Out of the blue, I remembered being so struck by Mile’s Davis band member sharing his experience of playing a wrong chord. Amazingly, through the myriads of old posts, I landed on that video.It really blew my mind when the player said Miles didn’t even lose his composure or make a face (like some of my past band mates would yell, belittle and deride our bandmate who played a sour chord, or lost there place in the song)  He improvised his chords,  making them fit with the off chord! That is genus.

Now, isn’t that so like our God, Our heavenly father who is the Jazz King. He never gets disgusted with us if we made a mistake, disrupts His plans or  veer of the road. As we abide in His leadership as our Leader of the band, he somehow works around our wrong chord!


Miles Davis’ band mate learned not just an astounding music lesson that day, but a life lesson. He was blessed to sit under a gracious leader. May we who are uptight, scrutinizing and demanding of others remember that when we cover each others weaknesses, we make ourselves look gracious. It is guaranteed that everyone of us has been or will do something that looks like an idiot. My desire is to so see people as my brothers and sisters who,  like me, have praiseworthy things to find and focus on and not the bad first impression whcih stays cemented in someone’s mind. I know one thing, I will never forget this video and plan to adapt the gracious, forgiving leadership style of Miles Davis as my musical and life pattern !

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