PRAYERS FOR SALT and LIGHT PEOPLE


Brothers & sisters, now is the time to start walking aggressively the powerful spiritual authority Jesus Christ has already given us. Seeing the headlines of horrendous crimes committed, national crisis and global atrocities, I can’t help but wonder why…if God has given us dominion over everything on the planet. Good sleep has become a thing of the past as I wake up several times during the night to call out to Yeshua for strength and power to resist fear of things to come.

I’m baffled and startled as I read local, national and international headlines of unbelievable violence, unrest and anarchy. I can’t help but weep and my demeanor has been very troubled. My prayer life recently has been me weeping and not being able to stop. I weep for my people here in US and especially Israel. I wonder how it became this bad and who is responsible for the downward spiral of the once great United States.

I’m frustrated also that many do not take their God-ordained calling of spiritual warfare seriously. Lovely prayers and FACEBOOK post shared online are nice and inspiring, but we must know that nothing is more important than being in His will and presence and interceding for the great warfare that is assailing us at present It is time for us, church, the Bride, to wage victorious warfare. We fight a massive spiritual battling the principalities in high places.

When I see the great delusion and violence wrought by the protestors in the middle east countries, I immediately see demons of rage, violence & murder rampaging without direction or focus. These actions can come from only two places, God or satan. Why do we just look on?

Today. South Jersey city of Trenton, blares  the startling headline that 108 policemen are to be laid off. Trenton is one of the most crime-ridden cities in New Jersey with gang activity a major threat to citizens and policemen alike,. The gang leaders plan to organize riots, looting and murdering in anticipation of a weakened  police force.  There are also terrorist and violent groups ALL over America at this very moment intricately planning great and evil attacks. This should send the church on their knees in fasting and prayer to oppose and squelch the attacks of the enemy. Great bloodshed and unconscionable evil will happen if we do not take these threats seriously and acknowledge the seriousness of these diabolical plans! I have not been able to sleep well regarding all these ominous news reports..

http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2011/09/trenton_police_officers_activi.html

Right now, The eyes of the world are on New York as many nations gather for the Durban III conference and world leaders are there to address the U.N. in support of Palestinian statehood.

Folks, we must WAKE UP and start to be aggressively and violently opposing ‘ plans. Because of our apathy over the past decades, atheist and non-Christian groups have successfully overturned many bills and laws incepted by Godly men. Why are we getting so tangled up in the affairs of the world that we don’t have the time to address, be educated and pray aggressively about spiritual and economical oppositions that are aimed at taken away all our Christian liberties that were so hard-fought for. Many aggressive anti-Christian groups continually seek to override bills that edit God completely from our constitution and keep us from even mentioning His powerful and Holy name. This is a shame.

Decisions that will forever CHANGE the face of AMERICA are transpiring right under our noses and we are nonchalantly going about our business, embroiled in internet nonsense, leisure and work. St Paul has reminded us that a good soldier of Christ does not embroil himself in the affairs of the world, 2 Tim 2:4
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We had better start engaging in the hard military spiritual boot camp that God has called us too. I’m thankful for our Pastor Ray who is well aware of the massive coming evil that will come upon America if we DO not repent and get our spiritual swords sharpened! Many pastor have missed the mark,  focusing on social activities and “ear tickling” sermons to keep congregants soothed and tithing. They will be held accountable to God when their flocks are attacked and killed, for they did not blow the trumpet and warn their people to run to the safety of Jehovah. God help these poor, deluded and fearful people! We have very little time left to address and confront the evil tide that comes right under our nose!

Thank God for men like my Pastor, Ray Thomann, HIARADIO, Pastor prophet, Augusto Perez, Appearance Ministries, Jay Seulow, Governor, Mike Huckabee, Dr James Dobson, Focus on the Family organization, and Matthew and Anita Staver, Esq, founders of Liberty Counsel

http://spofga.org/ten_commandments/2004/oct/bill_pryor.phtml

We also need to pray against the homosexual agenda raising. We have only to blame ourselves for NOT paying attention to all these crisis and legal developments.

We need to pray for the Palestinian leaders that God give them a supernatural revelation of The Abrahamic covenant . Lord, give them a Damascus experience where they acknowledge Yeshua as Lord and Savior or get rid of them, in Yeshua’s name amen.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/09/obama-gays-in-military-no-longer-have-to-lie/1

I pray you will all heed this urgent message. The future of America and Israel is at stake,.GOD bless you all and WAKE up.

http://www.ourstage.com/tracks/ASTYGAICSULP-armchair-quarterbacks?epk=true

MOVING ALONG at a SNAIL’S PACE


Journal Entry, Tuesday,  September 6, 2011

Well, to me Summer is over. The leaves on my favorite little tree in our backyard has already changed to speckled orange and cranberry. I’m wistful as I look out the window to a grey, cool and rainy Tuesday, the day after Labor Day. Mark had to work again & I had I regretted that I got no visits or calls from friends or family.

Today marks four years and a half years since my Dystonia diagnosis,  I’ve come a long way, spiritually, but my progress in other areas have been intelligible. I read the blogs of fellow Dystonia sufferers and I just start to weep. Many shake violently. Some have given up their favorite hobbies. Most have become so dependent on their loved ones and families that they have lost their sense of  affirmation. That’s what a catastrophic illness does.

To be totally honest, watching Alex, (a 27 year-old Dystonia sufferer)  on the Montel William’s show was heart-rending.  I couldn’t  get through the first minute without crying this still-beautiful young woman shares that she had planned to be a dancer. Sharing this poignant struggle and journey, I wonder how others like her deal with Dystonia.  Regardless, she has become an inspiration to those of us suffering from movement disorders.

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/main/content/Alexs_Story

Each day, thoughts and emotions about mortality, usefulness, attractiveness and career aspirations flood my mind. It seems the quality of my life has diminished drastically since graduation from Brookdale College  in 1989.  So seeing Alex struggle through life, I ponder how she gets along each day. I feel compelled to join the an advocacy crusade to help people like her continue to live productive and fulfilling lives.

The focus of any difficult condition is living as normal a life as possible and I’ve worked very hard to do so in spite of such vicious discomfort and exhaustion.  Hiding in my house was is not the plan God has for me.  There is a purpose  and I’m determined to make the best of it so that others can look to Him to thrive and shine.

Few conditions so steal so much as Dystonia because our bodies are totally out of control. The constant movement drains the life, energy and any creative desire. All I want to do is be unconscious and right now, my teeth  has already clenched down hundreds of times. The muscles at the nape of my neck are already very tight and my tongue is sore from scabs where my teeth have bitten right through. Is there anyone out there who has a tongue swollen with bite marks?

So…what good things can I say about my battle with Dystonia?  I continue to express my sadness and hopes for the future through my blogs and journaling. They’ve helped greatly to daily assuage the anger and frustration of hating to wake up and to address my longing for  my life to return to normal again.  I’m impassioned about mentoring people in the health/nutrition advocacy and hope to  educate the public about the seriousness of our tainted air, food and water supply and how it contributes to neurological disorders like MS, PPS Alzheimer and Parkinson’s Disease.

I yearn to understand how my body works and how the immune system can break down from outside poisoning assaults.  Movement disorder victims are increasing and they will continue to increase until we health advocates demand clean food and water! Our bodies can’t work efficiently when we are constantly inundated with pollution, fluoride, heavy metals and artificial chemicals.  The liver, kidneys and gall bladder become blocked. Victims of MS and movement disorders have lost most of their Myelin  sheath because of heavy metals. I believe the key to my healing will be to purge my body of metals and accumulated toxins, not drugs.

How have I really coped the past four and half years?  Not well, because I’m such a creative and curious person who loves to produce and learn about everything wonderful. I feel as if my emotions are muffled and find it almost impossible to connect deeply with anyone. Dystonia has also affected my femininity and assessment of who I am as a child of God.  I must rely heavily on God’s promises that assure my worth through His love and grace for me. That is difficult when all my life I’ve strived to stay fit, poised, trim, focused and intuitive.  All these have fallen to the wayside. I can’t even try to look attractive. It takes too much effort.  Right now, just getting through the next hour is a challenge

I’ve also become clumsy and drop things continually. At times it’s been so unbearable, all I can do is weep until I can’t weep anymore.  The hard part sometimes, is no one wants to talk about their struggles, especially Christians. Most of them give a trite scripture verse.  Sure no one wants to hear complaining or talk all the time about how bad you feel, but dog-gone-it, tell me how you deal with  honestly!

On the plus side, I’m blessed to share every tear, angry outburst and prayer with my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, my dear spiritual family on Facebook and Indie heaven. My wonderful husband, Mark has been my defender and companion and  courageously bears with me in out battle together. Without the Lord,  though, I know I would have killed myself.

Thankfully Dystonia has  not affected my pure Soprano singing  voice or my fingers when I play guitar or do deft handwork on the hand-made cards I design. I take advantage of days where I’m not overly spamming.

Dystonia has ddefinitely dampened my desire to aggressively promote my music and books.  It takes tremendous amounts of energy,  time and focus and the draining and continuous movements leave me few hours of productivity.

I started my 4th original CD, Mod Prophet in 2007, shortly before the first spasms. Since then, I’ve had a severe curtailment of inspiration to write new songs. Once in a great while, during moments of  overwhelming grief, a new song will burst out of me.  “I’ve Come Here to Worship” is one such song that was borne during such a time and a dear friend has created a beautiful video which can be seen on You-tube.!

The most wonderful thing I can share about this painful  time is the reality of God’s sweet presence that has always sustained me throughout my life, but most especially these past four and a half years.  He always come in at the weakest times like a fresh, soothing rain to cool my parched and weary spirit. Perhaps that is the miracle of suffering!

My blogging/journey writing has also blossomed amazingly, allowing me the comfort and unrestricted platform to express my grief, sadness, regrets and joys.  In spite of the great and taxing weight of such a condition, God has truly  used me as His conduit,  (surprisingly) the areas of hospice, hospital visitation and at funerals.

I was told by a woman attending my husband’s best friend’s father’s funeral, that while I was singing my song, she saw giggling cherubs surrounding me. The woman was able to see into the spiritual realm. She insisted that I pay attention to my gift of healing to the sick and dying!

Expectations must be greatly lowered when you grapple with Dystonia. A neat, orderly house, beautiful trim, figure and a focused faith walk all fall apart and are often inconstant and sporadic. I often feel like I failed in my attempts to please God with my good behavior and faithful spiritual service. Since a young girl, much was expected of me by my father, my pastor, employers s and closest friends.

I try to make as much sense of it all as I can, but in the end, it is the Lord who sustains my balance and sanity.  Perhaps He is using this illness to make me dependent on Him and to show me I must learn to ignore people’s scrutiny, harsh judgments and  criticism, however well-intentioned. The Dystonia may have even be caused by years and years of conflict, hostile interactions and  too-high expectations placed on a fragile, and sensitive young woman trying to find her way in the world.

Dystonia may be just a complete break-down of my immune system and God wants to completely overhaul my whole body!

When ever I weep about the lost person I was because of this illness, God gently reminds me of His wonderful and tender promises. His grace is sufficient for me gauging my spiritual walk with others who enjoy good health is no longer an option. When I ‘m drained mentally and emotionally from trying to cope with the myriad  and mundane small tasks and chores I need to do each day, Jesus is there  to remind me, “lay your burdens upon for my burden is light. People have placed too many demands that have broken me and now I await my precious Savior to restore me.

Come quickly Lord Jesus.

WHAT’S In A NAME?


Burqa-clad women walk around like silent ghosts without voices.  To us women in the developed countries , especially America,  they languish quietly as second class citizens with few choices. I’m grateful to live in such a wonderful country and that my beloved father brought me over to America as a young baby from Stuttgart, Germany. I couldn’t imagine traveling through life with a stifled voice, intellect and ability to contribute to my world.

We American women have ample opportunity to aspire to and reach the highest pinnacles of expression, education and spiritual enlightenment.  I’m also blessed to have had a father who instilled in me the virtues of independence, resourcefulness, high intellect and resilience in the face of great hardships. These are the staples of my character and integrity.

Papito was born on the island of  Puerto Rico in 1929. Though, the Depression held America in its grip, my grandmother would not allow poverty to affect her family.  She was fiercely independent. When my grandfather fell ill with  a lung ailment and had to be separate from the rest of the family, she fired her shotgun into the air each night to let prospective suitors know that she was not a pushover, didn’t need their assistance and had her family under control!

As a youngster, Papito was a very special and aspiring boy who sold enough produce from their farm to support his mother and 8 brothers and sisters.  Even at that age, he was an entrepreneur and his great skill at painting and lettering earned him a prestigious position with a local business man also surnamed Ferrer.

When Papito came to America, he joined the army and ended up stationed in Germany, where he met a beautiful, engaging blond. I was born nine months later followed by my younger sister, a year and a half later.  Papito was a serious and very disciplined man and decided to move to a more suburban area in New Jersey. He didn’t want to raise his girls in an urban environment like Paterson where most of his siblings settled.

Papito ended up buying a starter home in Long Branch. When I was six, another sister was added to the family and when I was ten, my last and youngest sister was born.  Papito stayed true to his religious roots and we were enrolled at Star of the Sea Catholic School.  He wanted us to have a quality education and  marry doctors and lawyers.

Catholic school was a fertile place for me to develop confidence in myself.  The nuns recognized my special talents in illustration, poetry and speaking and I was often chosen to read to the class. When Papito could no longer afford tuition, we were transferred to public schools. There, I retained my passion for the arts and discovered I also had a great creativity for fashion design and seamstressing.  I was asked to design and sew all the costumes for our medieval plays. By the time I was in seventh grade, I knew I was going to be a rock ck star/fashion designer when I grew up.

Eventually my parents irreconcilable different forced our family apart and I ended up in foster care. My world crashed, but somehow, I maintained a fierce dignity to survive. Papito’s  mentoring brought me through the storms.

After flailing and struggling for several years, a friend invited me to his church and I ended up committing my life to Jesus Christ.  A supernatural change came over me. I was told that God had a wonderful plan for my life and I was a new person. I couldn’t wait to finally explore my life.  Storms once again, interrupted my forward momentum in the guise of financial hardship, sickness and being hit by a car.

A break came through receiving a brochure in the mail from  Brookdale Community College and I welcomed the though of dreaming again.  I enrolled for fall semester and that began my upward climb to normality. Through malnutrition and poverty, I received grants and a full scholarship offer to Boston University. I managed to stay on the Deans list with a 3.85 GPA, graduating four years later with my Associates degree. My identity was now fully established and I was elated to  soar in my aspirations.

Several more storms assailed me, (including a violent and abusive failed marriage) and later an immune system breakdown from  a LYME Disease diagnosis.  The stress of my husband’s  emotional abuse and deportment threats caused me to break down physically and I was so weak I couldn’t work  I fell into a deep depression, but clung to my faith, knowing that I would ride out the latest storm in God’s strength. My recovery was very slow, but I gradually regained my strength and vision.

God opened up a door of opportunity through a childhood girlfriend who had been praying for me for many years. Diana called me, urging me to apply for a Christian non-profit organization, Love in the Name of Christ, that she worked for part-time.

Though I had no professional clothing for an interview, I made a strong impression on the executive Director, Carolyn Eyerman and Operations manager, John Hodem. Joan was a warm, yet professional woman with decades of experience in the social and healing services.  She saw something in me that I thought I had lost so long ago.  I was hired as program coordinator of my own business clothing and mentoring program!

Only God could have  orchestrated such an event and I was exhilarated that I was called to network with such inflectional professionals. My six-year tenure with Love Inc turned out to be the most supportive and joyous time of my life with me helping disconnected women, domestic violence victims and welfare women entering the work force for the first time! Many wonderful relationships were established because of Joan’s belief in me and I learned much from these professionals in the areas of ministry/outreach, education  and the social services. My confidence grew as other opportunities continued to present themselves.

My talent in singing and music also came to fruition with recording projects and performing in very upscale restaurants. I met many influential business people, pastors and CEOs as well as an MTV CEO, who hired me to do a private event at his mansion in Belmar.

Storms have continued to assail me with greater intensity. My faith has been stretched and God continues to give me glimpses of higher spiritual intuition and His  miraculous workings through me.  I’m continually inspired to chronicle my life and faith journey through new songs, books  and my photography. Most passionately though, is my desire to see broken people from all over the globe healed and transformed whether through personal or via my internet connections.

When God brought a wonderful man into my life, I was yet to experience an ever more relevant journey balancing two different perspectives, traditions, habits and decisions. I married my wonderful husband, Mark and we talked about my desire to be called by my family name. He had  no problem at all.

Strangely, the ones who adamantly refused to honor my request to be addressed at Anita Ferrer, were family members, Marks male friends and our church family!

Times have changed, people. In 2011, many women are keeping their family names, or hyphenating. It’s a personal choice now and some of us just don’t believe in a rigid, thoughtless tradition  borne in the 1800’s when women were their husband’s possession.  To each woman her own,  but I proudly wear my family name like a badge of honor. The name Ferrer is synonymous with my many weighty struggles, blood, sweat and tear lessons and victories. I’m a  phoenix who God himself has reconstructed and sculpted from the funeral pyre, a once almost disintegrated tangled mass scattered to the winds of tragedy.

This name, Ferrer was borne out of a great legacy, the struggle and the fruits of my grandmothers, father’s and my life skills,skills, history, successes and creativity. The jewels of my spiritual crown continue to bring forth fruits of creativity, deep intellect and empathetic passion and compassion for my fellow-man. Teofilo Cepeda Ferrer, Papito’s legacy encompass every part of me, the musical, literary artistry and intimate communication and friendships to a subliminal level.

I wear my father’s name with honor and will not cancel it out because tradition says I must. It epitomizes the extent of my commitment and faithfulness to an extra-ordinary life of leadership, civic and social contributions and also a lifestyle that is excellent and pleasing to my Heavenly Father.

I hope you all now understand my deep and personal reasons to be addressed and known by my family name.

I also hope younger women all over the world will think deeply about what their family name means to them as they prepare to unite with their soul mates. May they ponder the contributions and inheritances of their relatives, fathers or grandparents as I have pondered and cherished the depth and beauty of what my father and grandmother have passed down through me.

Wear your family  name proudly, young woman. It’s a brave new world! !