TEACH US TO NUMBER OUR DAYS



bikini and white wicker chair

Journal Entry, October 1, 2018

A usual day, making my usual cup of Hazlenut coffee. But today I am eagerly waiting to see about the recovery of the baby squirrel I brought home yesterday.  I noticed a note from my husband, right next to the coffee maker. Mark usually didn’t leave me notes unless it was important or for me to do an errrand for him. He was  as concerend for the baby suqirrel as I was that she be hydrated and fed. The note said, “Honey bun, the baby suqirrel did not make it”.

I burst into tears and rusheed to the bedroom, in hopes that perhapos the baby squirrel was still asleep. She indeed had died during the night. Her eyes were partially closed and she looked so peaceful.  AS I stared at her tiny body and beautiful bushy tail,  I wondered why Father God did not choose to restore her. I had only known her a day and a half, but I was grieving as if she were a pet. I suddenly felt felt disturbed and nauseous.

3 kitties in a basket2
Just a short day and a half ago, I was enjoying the beautiful Indian summer Sunday afternoon on my scooter. My favorite place to roll down an incline was at a vacated building which used to be a bank. I was riding uphill on the driveway and a tiny baby squirrel stopped in in front of me, in the middle of the driveway. She was moving very slow and I got closer to take a look. She stared at me then stopped, as if she was too weak to walk. She then looked at me and gave a long sorrowful squeal as if to say, “Help me”. I melted. Then I watched her struggle to stand. She steadied herself and slowly walked to a grassy area where she lay down. Immediately a swarm of flies settled on her soft coat. I became angry that they were so greedy they couldn’t wait for her to die before laying larva to eat her. I scootered home as quickly as I could, praying that she would not die on me before I came back for her.

When I came back with the truck, she was laying on her side with those wretched flies all over her. I managed to scoop her up into a plastic tray. When I got her home, she was not afraid of me. I gave her a little water with an eye dropper and mixed some wet cat food. She didn’t even struggle or fight me. When I retired for the night, I believed when would be more chipper when I awoke the next morning to attend her.
The next morning, Mark was anxious to see Bitty, the baby squirrel I told him about. He also was smitten by her and mentioned that when she recovered she would join the other squirrels that frequented our back yard. I remembered the time I rescued to white ferret while on the way home from a recording session. It was a very dark night, but I was able to make out a small white creature rolling out from under the car ahead of me. I stopped my car to see if the animal survived and found it was a white ferret. There was no blood but I could tell she was terrified. I went to my car and grabbed a music stand and crate and was able to scoop her into the crate. When I got her home, she was relaxed and ended up adjusting beautifully to Mark and the other five cats. Ghost became a loved member of our family.

Fast Forward two days Later
Bitty’s demise made me feel disconnected and empty. I knew from experience that dying pets always made me fall into lengthy periods of nonproductively and since I was part of an intercessory prayer group, I had to stay somewhat sharp. The Bible was always my source of strength when I lost pets and my eyes fell on Moses .Psalm 90. Verse 12 always made me stop and ponder the concept of numbering our days. I wondered why Father didn’t choose to revive Bitty, our any of the precious cats who comforted me over the years. I’ve been walking with the Lord since 1983 and have come a long way in my perception and experiencing God. Today, the truth and reality of the brevity of life is crystal clear.

Bitty SQUIRREL

Whether in joy, celebration, soberness or accepting death, God is still God and His strength is made perfect in the fragility of our grieving.  Intimacy with Him is the only way we can address great losses in our lives and move forward in strength and purpose. For me and all those who passionately seek Jehovah God, the Eternal One and His son, Jesus the Christ, Life in Him is the only life worth living.

Bitty’s rescue and death reminded me of our life, friendships and existence, ever-changing., and sometimes ending.  As a journalist, I ask my heavenly Father to use my gifts, (both tragedies and triumphs) to guide, encourage and empower those He sends my way. How I desire to express my emotions, perceptions and responses through His divine perspective. One of the most precious attributes He tempers is compassion and tenderness. Mark remarked to me how he was moved to see me so gently try to nourish Bitty.

Bikini Dies, October 3, 2018
Two days after Bitty’s death and ready to greet another day,  Mark leaft me another note on the kitchen counter. This note said that he was taking Bikini, our long-haired, gentle tan and grey tabby, to the vet. While my coffee was brewing , I called him at work to see how Bikini made out. A  long pause, “Kini’s gone,”  he said softly. I burst out crying.

Mark described his dismal morning.  Our other cat, a male,  Tiny, was meowing despairingly  in the laundry room,. He found Bikini laying on the tile floor, convulsing in a pool of her urine. Alarmed, he took her to the car, in hopes of taking her to the vet near his job. When he arrived at the vets, two female attendants were there, but they weren’t allowed to open the door and let Mark in with Bikini. One, took one look at Bikini and said, “It’s too late. She’s clearly on the way out” It was about 5:30 am when Bikin expired. I was sobbing loudly as Mark described driving to work with Bikini dead on the passenger seat.

The rest of the day,   I was nuaseous and sorrowful.. This was getting to be too much with losing three friends just last month. My daily battle with my condition and the incessant pulling of my Platysma and SCM muscles in my throat made my life all the more taxing. Every trauma took a lot out of me. The recent nights were terrible also as I’d be woken up several times during the night.  The stress of mourning Bitty’s and Bikin’s death didn’t help  my muscles. II was unable to  get REM sleep for hours.  I desperately needed a break.

I went out into the yard to rake leaves to vent my grief and called one of the matron intercessors from our prayer group. She had recently lost and was grieving over her beloved dog, Holly, so I knew I could confide in her about losing my sweet Bikini. Pastor Pam and I prayed and her prayer gave me comfort. She shared that God reminded her not to drown in her mourning and focus on moving forward. I then called another dear spiritual sister, Sandra, who was also all too familiar with losing her beloved cat right around the time she lost her mother. It was so grateful to be able to share my burden. I thought about Job crying out with the terrible news of losing all his children.

Bikini was with for about 12 years and was the subject of many beautiful photographs that I will cherish. Bikini’s meek and tender personality was unlike some other cats, who growled or scratched out if provoked or if their food bowl was threatened. Just last week, Bikini’ became more attached to me and would sit in the middle of the kitchen floor and stare up at me while I cooked our meals. Mark took Bikin’s death especially hard, blaming himself that he didn’t have her checked earlier. I assured him that Bikini died of Cancer and her symptoms were similar to my beloved white calico, Baby-Baby. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but blessed be the name of the Lord. My comfort during the loss of a beloved loved on or pet is that one day we will see Jesus face to face. My scripture verse of great comfort is Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior will be reunited with our loved ones and I believe our beloved pets. Oh, the joys of our covenant relationship with our Heavenly Father. We will enjoy the glorious blessings of eternity in Heaven in a glorified body where there is no decay, accidents, sin or death. I pray, my friend that you too will invite Christ into your heart and life. So you can be assured of reuniting with your loved ones.

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