Fire Fighter, Chris Fields looking down at baby Baylee

I consider my song,  I  Can Still Cry one of my most most compelling and heartfelt I’d ever written. I rarely write hit songs because I’m most touched by incidents,, relationships, tragedies and injustice, (and probably that’s why most of my songs are rejected by music A&R companies like Taxi and Music X-ray, lol.) The movement of time and circumstances which assail all people throughout the ages, moves me deeply.

I was shell-shocked when I heard the first report of a horrific bombing of the Alfred P Murrah Federal building on April 19, 1995. The photograph of a firefighter, Chris Fields, holding a tiny baby girl, Baylee, made me burst out in tears. Tears of sorrow spilled down my cheeks as I gazed at pictures of the bombings’ devastating outcome. I could not wrap my mind around the reasons of the person who had such hatred and rage that he could care less that  there were babies and little children in the building. One hundred sixty eight people died and hundreds more were injured. Many babies who were being cared for at the day care center also perished. Few of us could not be stirred regarding this tragedy. For me it was a pivotal time in my songwriting and journalism calling.

As i write this blog, I hear the strains of the refrain of I can Still Cry, a mournful legacy of a long-past disaster who many may have forgotten. I cannot forget, every time I upload the song for pitching to film, documentary and TV music companies.

One thing is sure, despite ll the evils that had  assailed me in my own life and the myriad of rejections and abuse by people, I can still felt deep empathy for  the suffering of people. I consider it a blessing and gift to be able to weep  about injustices,  human rights violation, murder and actions such as bombings. My prayer though, is that we weep not when reading or seeing devastating events, but that we would do something to prevent them A tall order I know, but if we can at least intimately connect and communicate to each other, ( to assuage gripes) we may prevent an act of vengeful hatred and violence.

  My prayer as you listen to my beautiful song, recorded and engineering by the talented, Nejat Bakin, you will aspire to be a person of empathetic action. Nejat did a beautiful job of capturing the anguish and purity .  A decade later, I  recorded a remix and extended  keyboard version of the song  done with the  wonderful John Mulrenan, Acorn Digital, Howell NJ.      You can purchase both versions of I Can Still Cry on my website:


What is the cure for retaliation, rage and violence? Love is always the answer, without expect for return and unconditional. Jesus Christ the greatest lover of us all made random acts of kindness his life’s work. Practice random acts of kindness and see your world transformed!

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Helena Lehman
    Feb 08, 2021 @ 15:31:48

    Shalom Anita. I hope that you are doing well. There is a time for sorrow, and a time for joy. I think it’s best to keep our minds stayed on positive things so that when bad things happen, we can weather the storms in life more effectively by the renewing of our minds in Christ. I prefer to dwell on the light and love and kindness of our God until tragedy strikes, and it’s time to mourn. But yes, sadly, there is sometimes a need to cry. I pray that our Messiah will help us all weather those storms with His lovingkindness when they come.


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