NEAR to the BROKEN-HEARTED


stc-l-kgmonarch-0802-03

The weight was becoming so crushing that Barbara could barely  breath

I got off of my tread mill, at the telephones’ ringing and heard my precious sister Barbara’s voice, weak with grief.  She was grieving for her son, Adam and it was a very difficult time for her. I was grateful to be  available for her and listened as she poured out her heart to me. Feelings of protectiveness came over me like a mother bear seeing her cub being threatened.  I knew the enmey was trying to drag her backwards into the depths of bondage.  I waited for Holy Spirit to download instruction on how to minister to her.

I felt a very heavy burden of anguish and then I asked her to rest and be still because I was going to release a song over her. The inspiration of lyrics came to me the past Saturday because of a burden for my three younger sisters who were are battling weights from their past. As I was checking my emails, I saw a dear prophetic brother who wrote that Holy Spirit had told him I was going to write another song. I grabbed my pen and within 5 minutes I wrote  “Enter My Rest” Holy Spirit reminded me  of  Hebrews 4:11Let us therefore strive to enter into His rest.

I could feel a spiritual tug of war going on with Barbra, but I told her I felt to sing Shalom over her. the new song,  Enter my Rest and Beautiful Daughter. Holy Spirit was showing me that Abba wanted her to  let go of all the weights..and rest in him. Then He showed me a performance anxiety spirit was pulling her. So we prayed together against the spirit.    I saw that we indeed were in a tug of war. Yashuah Jesus, Barbara and I were on one side of the  rope and the  demonic spirits at the other end. We continued to pray and we took authority over the spirits. .

As we were waging warfare,  standing firm, we felt the noose was loosening. Barbara prayed and then started singing Hallelujah, we sing hallelujah. I joined in and we were singeing prophetically.

hallelujah. We sing hallelujah,  We sing hallelujah to our King

You release us to the skies, cause we are butterflies.

We are soaring into glory.. He releases us into the skies

We soar on weightless wings and look into our Father eyes,

All of a sudden, Barbara laughed and she was light with exhilaration. Father helped her to break through. It was so delightful, she suddenly burst out that she saw a vision of millions of Monarch butterflies being released. WOW! was all I could say!

Truly, Barbara’s received a glorious breakthrough and fresh  anointing of her ability to see visions. We were enthralled at the fresh unction of confidence and strength Father had given her and we marveled at how Father is so near His children when they are broken-hearted.

During my prayer over Barbara, I also  reminded her  that Yashuah had already set a banquet table for us to dine on His exquisite delicacies of mercy and grace, among many others.  Though He invites us and often we come in shabby clothes and   broken as paupers, he garbs us in  pure white wedding gowns, spotless in His blood.  Sister Barbara and all my precious brothers and sisters, let us fall back into His hammock of love after you have confessed your sins and weaknesses! Release and rest!

“Enter My Rest” Holy Spirit reminds us in  Hebrews 4:11.  Let us therefore strive to enter into His rest. For some of us, we may need to ask God’s help to discipline ourselves from the stringent bondage of work and striving. God is faithful..He hears our cries and will surely help!

THE FELLOWSHIP OF SUFFERING


DSCN3556 John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Journal Entry, March3, 2017

My quest to find answers to the tormenting mystery of the JAW-mouth Dystonia continues. Each hour, I continue to rely heavily on Father giving me the strength to endure, uncomplainingly. My seasonal job, delivering telephone books door-to-door, started last week and my body is weary. from the windy-cold and the physical exertion.  Unlike  several years ago, when I bitterly complained to Father that I should be on tour with my incredible band. I told him, how hard it was to have do such humbling work when He had blessed me with such talent.And then the added grief of being misunderstood, alienated from wonderful fellowship and dealing with a tormentically distracting movement disorder was more than any human to bear. Even now, the pain in my (now also)  left jaw is painful and  I can barely stand to do anything. The past nine years of this  horrendous disorder (and the thought that there is no reversal for the damaged joints should cause me to sink into utter depression). Honestly, it has been lonely beyond belief and at times, I deem my small music-compassionate outreach, Brave Flame Productions-Outreach a thankless job, (at times). I am a very social person and  cherish the camaraderie of freinds and loved ones being emotionally and spiritually connected with me.

Nevertheless, I realize that this ongoing suffering has brought about great change in my spiritual outlook and Father’s gloriuous workmanship in my life. This realization had brought me to create my 5 part-series journalism-color photographs and devotional series, ARISE FROM YOUR GRAVE. It has also compelled me to record and produce songs for two concurrent albums, a prophetic rock , Mod Prophet and a worship album, The Anointing, (His presence). One would expect that the result would be a publishing book deal and distribution or at least interest in the recorded works.  My book series still await  publication and my albums are still incomplete.

I wait upon the Lord, for He will renew my strength. What strength? For any passionately creative person in the midst of projects, there’s always the hope of success and renown. For the child of God, renown would be being sought after for the expertise of the skill. There is dealing with the disappointment of struggling financially and/or having few customers-patrons. So, I tell Father, more than anything… I wish to be in His perfect will.

This prayer brought me to place and realization of the precious treasure of His presence and company. In this quiet place of seeking Him above even success in my creative endeavors, He shows me what he truly values as spiritual wealth and abundance.

Each morning, as I arise to consciousness, I’ve disciplined my spirit to mediate on several verses. I have had to train myself because the left jaw is so violently  spastic that I awoke several times duirng the night in great pain. I didn’t want to succumb to anger or bitterness as I had with my past Lyme Disease battle in 1992.

Psalm 19:14

14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Once awake, I ask Holy Spirit to order my steps and  focus me on what scripture He wants me to meditate on.  During the next hour, He will show me someone who needs a prayerful phone call, a hand-made card or care package. Yesterday, a Christian sister’s name popped into my spirit. I said, “Okay Abba, I will call Jackie, (not her real name)”

sisters-comforting

When .I called Jackie, she replied, “That is amazing, Anita. I was thinking of you just yesterday and i was going to call you.” She asked me how I was doing with my jaw-mouth situation and I immediately gave her details of how I thought I was stopping my own healing. I slipped more often than I’d liked, saying  things like, day , “I can’t do that because of this disabling TMJ-Dystionia.” Lately, I was at least catching myself in mid sentence and repenting and saying, I am healed.” Jackie  admitted she was also speaking sickness over herself., her lungs and poor breathing. Jackie’s lungs had deteriorated so bad in the past year that she was on oxygen all day! I was thankful, that though my jaw-throat situation was very painful and distracting, at least I could drive and walk around freely. Jackie then confessed that during her seeking prayer to God about her suffering, she had deep, unresolved grief about her childhood and past.

I was astounded hen she mentioned her deep grief because i  was presently getting victory over my own many losses by reading a wonderful deliverance book, Pray Through It  by Rob Morrisette. The author was very detailed about the traumas and strongholds of his counselees and I was getting freer and freer reading about the victorious testimonies of the people.  Rob’s counseling manner was very detailed and he stressed bringing every painful incident to God in prayer and asking for healing. Jackie was very excited and wrote down the name of the book. I also shared with her about my joy of participating on the conference telephone line several hours each day with passionate prayer warriors across our nation. I told her how strengthened I was in their company and the powerful anointing of their prayers. She admitted to feeling judged around other brethren  and I felt she was constrained by a spirit of unworthiness. Jackie also took down the conference prayer call number and I prayed with her.

At the end of our discourse, Jackie was in tears and prayed for me. She thanked God for me being obedient God had put me on her heart the day before, but she didn’t call and was grateful that I was spiritually sensitive. I was deeply humbled and broken that Father was so gracious to even use me in such a way..to build up and strengthen my precious sister who  said she felt she was backslidden!

This call was a confirmation that I was  right where Father wanted me to be, sitting in his love and waiting for direction. My direction happens to be the gift of edifying, building up my brothers and sisters who feel broken  weak and unworthy.  Father is not so concerned about my creative endeavors, (however God-inspired they are) but about developing intuitiveness to the needs and brokenness of my brethren. In order to have sensitivity to ascertain that my brother and sister needs tenderness, encouragement or a tangible need, (such as rent money or groceries), I need to stay deeply connected and deeply compassionate, however rough or irresponsible they may seem. I’ve desperately longed for patience, long-suffering and understanding about my weird  movement (with loud voice) disorder and have often been judged harshly and misunderstood. But Father has used these painful times so I can learn long-suffering and kindness.  Separating myself unto Him and worshiping with a thankful heart has borough me to precious places of surrender, where I can give out of a pure heart. Though my physical reserves, (my energy) seem limited, my capacity to  love has so increased. Father is nurturing my capacity to love deeper than a surface level. If I encounter relationships were a brethren seems difficult, a nuisance or unpleasant to be around, I ask Father to remind me that there may be deeply-rooted generational issues or traumas from childhood and up.

The Pray It Through, book  has been eye-opening resource to delve deeply into the hearts of my brothers and sisters and where Father can groom me to love, not just in word and deed, but true empathy! I believe this is what causes strife and rejection in the body. We say we love  (and pray for) our brother or sister from afar, yet we will not come forth in honesty and reason at the table with them and our Heavenly Father.

I pray that my brothers and sisters take a deeper look at their season of suffering and submit it to our Abba. He will show us how he is breaking down ideologies of tradition, religion and even relationships, (as the secular arena perceives them). Our ways are not God’s ways and our thoughts are not His. He uses the weak, broken , ugly things, and even small, insignificant (according to the world’s standards) ministries.

He has made everything beautiful in His time. Ecc 3:11

When mega-churches and mega-ministries crumble at His glorious appearance because they did not minister to the orphans, widows and  foreigner, those ministries build on His compassion will thrive and be the lighthouse to the nations!

Let us remember that the temporary sufferings and lacks are not worthy to be compared with the glories which await us in heaven! be encouraged my brother and sister! God sees and he is pleased.

I WILL NOT LAY DOWN


DSCN2164

Ministering to elderly and sick nursing homes residents with Pee-Wee.

Note to Readers: My journaling of my battle with Dystonia-TMJ is to bring awareness to friends l loved ones in the hopes of giving more help, compassion and understanding to our deficiencies. I also hope doctors and medical personnel can understand the various areas of our lives that are restricted  and inhibit by inability to administer to our former duties, responsibilities and personal creative endeavors.  These journal entries and (medical personnel involved) . Our symptoms may even affect our judgement and/or mental-emotional prowess before we  had our condition. The utmost patience and compassion is needed for us to be contributors to our father’s kingdom. May our prayers, not just  for Dystonia, Alzheimer, Dementia ( or any other victim of a health disorder,)  not just be for our immediate healing, (so we don’t have to be inconvenienced) but to teach us patience and forbearance.

Journal Entry,  July 5, 2016

Just woke up to another overcast day, promising more rain. I don’t complain because many states are in a water crisis. My vegetable garden is flourishing, but the barometer and humidity has wrecked havoc with my jaw joints. When atmospheric pressure changes,  my neck muscles, nerves and jaws go berserk, making it almost impossible to accomplish any thing with merit. It’s going on two weeks trying to get together two of my best story to send to Guidepost inspirational magazine. I’m also waiting to get motivated to send m art package to a greeting card company here in Paterson, NJ.

Each day is different in this season of TMJ Dystonia in regards to what I’m able to accomplish, but it’s always the same regarding my determination to receive my miracle manifestation of healing. God has still not answered my question regarding what purpose this tormenting condition persists.  At times my flesh reminds me that it’s going on nine years and if God had a great plan for me, how could He be so cruel to allow it to linger and so curtail my vivaciousness and productivity. I remind myself that Abba is a good God and everything He gives is wonderful and needful to His children. One thing I know for sure ..that His ways are perfect and He does know how much I’m suffering. Satan’s plan is always to ambush our minds and barrage us with a continual spray of doubting questions, physical pain and our focus of it.

At times when I have a moment of peace, such as when I’m pulling acorn seedlings in my yard, I feel His gentle presence. Oddly, my muscles rest and my jaw is calm. My jaw and throat also seem to get calmer while I’m focusing on my fine bead work. But mostly, I’m groaning in agony as I press forward, (much like pushing through a tropical impenetrable forest),  through each hour to make it to bedtime. Here is where I rely on Father’s strength each day for sanity! When the neck spasms get so bad that I fall on the floor and writhe in pain, I can’t bare to be alive. Here is where I have to take captive that demonic spirit of suicide, death and insanity. I can’t explain to anyone except someone enduring daily pain on a scale of 8 or nine every waking moment of their lives.

After these many years, I deal with  the grief of losing a good chunk of my life. A dark season of nine years is a lot. I know brother Joseph, in the Bible, had to bear thirteen years of incarceration, but having a agonizing and distracting bodily condition is a whole new ball game. The most painful thing for me is deducing my relationship with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. I’ve always believed that valid and thriving  relationship with the Lord had to be true and breath-takingly reverent. My prayer times are anything but reverential  There’s a whole lot of shaking and  jerking going on, hardly my idea of anything pleasing to God!  My focused prayer and devotions to Him are at best , sporadic. (I’m just being transparent with you). I often go in to prayer expecting  the outcome to be detached and superficial because  mostly… I weep through the whole time! Whew. Imagine struggling through your talking to father God?

“Father forgive me for being this way.”

Maybe tomorrow, I will have no more spasms and I can joyfully never and praise him. This is the uncharted waters that the Bible doesn’t address, so I have to contend with disgust of my inability to give Father my best and to even give Him His proper due.

The other devastating thing i that doctors I’ve seen have no idea where to even start for a treatment program. They look at me in surprise and apologize that there is nothing they can do. I’ve been researching and GOOGLING for over six years and have  found only a few doctors who specifically treated Dystonia of the mouth and.or upper cervical area. A girl freind  messaged me a few weeks ago telling me she also was researching my condition and found a  Dr LEE, who has a private practice   in South Korea. Many of his  Dystonia and TMJ patients were getting successful results with his treatments!  I also found a doctor  in  DE who treated TMJ. Unfortunately, they are very few and far in between in NJ and to travel to other states like the doctor in Teaas would be very costly and inconvenient for my husband to take off work. I continue to ask and pray whether father wants me to wait for His divine supernatural creative miracle for my jaw or travel to a  TMJ physician. Father be merciful to us who are suffering.

Dr Lee’s practice and You-Tube link.

July 4th was spent praying for a breakthrough rest with my jaw and neck spasms. The day was already almost half over and I needed to express my love for my Heavenly Father. it was so frustrating, picking up my Taylor and just jerking so wildly, I had to lay down. Uselessness and despair threatened to ruin my day, but finally picked up my guitar anyway and started to sing my favorite energetic hymns, like Onward Christian Soldiers.  Anyway, I am more than a conqueror!

Fast forward today, brought my Bible, a Max Lucado devotional and Jewel’s book, Chasing The Dawn into the bedroom. I prayed that something would awaken my heart and I’d be able to move forward into my day. My eyes fell upon the subtitle of Jewel’s book, Melbourne, Australia. I’ve always dreamed of Australia even as a young girl. Down Under seemed a glorious utopia far away from the chaos and heartache of my present circumstance of my parents plan to divorce. I often dreamed in my bed at night that I would somehow end up there and live a peaceful and creative life!

So Jewel expressed the sensations of her entering the stage to perform her repertoire to her Australian fans. Her writing was so elegant and enticing, making me miss my own performing and composing tenure. I felt a profound sense of loss that I was so far and disconnected to that glorious season of my life. Words cannot describe a performance were the performer “feels” her audience and they feel her. It is an indescribable connection that infuses the artists expression of singing-performing (and doctors have no idea the profound effects that a neurological disorder as Dystonia-TMJ can have on the creativity of a talented singer-composer. This has been a major grief, few realize  the extent of loss when a performing artist is unable to perform (and compose)  at the high level she was used to. I feel less than human and disconnected that this condition has so disrupted the  beautiful overflow of expressing my music-soul.

When I perform before an audience, it’s like I gently fall off a trapeze like a leaf  I lose all sense of the present, of time and the faces that gaze at me.  Father placed me in a I  a divine bubble and I’m floating in His love. Everything around me fades into nothingness and all I’m aware of is the holiness  (and lightness0 of His presence. This has happened several times. Twice, when I sang at dying persons’ deathbed and at a funeral service, where a seer told my husband she saw cherubim dancing joyously around me as I sang my Psalm 91 original. Another recent time, was just last month while singing two of my favorite Hymns His Eye is on the Sparrow and It Is Well at a church concert. . Despite the fact I was miserable and my neck was inflamed with pain and my mouth was  moving violently, I grabbed Father’s hand and took His strength. No one could have been more surprised than me, when everyone stood up and joined me on the heart-rending chorus, It is Well With My Soul. I knew it was God and God alone who carried me through the song.

10-17-2012-205THE VOICE of an ANGEL

A girl, her voice and Guitar, Proclaiming the Love of Christ!

This dark season I’m immersed in is complicated, daunting and bizarre with its untold repercussions. I can’t bare to be seen in public because of the embarrassing facial grimaces and my arms and upper shoulder jerking. Even standing in line at the post office for fifteen minutes is main achievement. With these negative symptoms molding me into something no one would want to be, I’ve learned to make some adjustments. I’ve long discarded the activity of complaining and have made a lovely habit of making someone’s day a little better. If I’m at the grocery store I find something attractive about the person near me and compliment them. I so delights me to see them smile and to make their day by a compliment. The practice of being a blessing to someone is a high point of my day. I refuse to give the enemy any ground or make him think that his attacks on me will sully God’s wonderful destiny for me. I want to please my Father by serving and being a blessing no matter how hard it is! I feel sad for mean people because I know that they’ve not practiced and seen the results of kindness in spite of their physical misery, stressful relationship or mundane life. Persistent acts of kindness and serving cheerfully is evidence of a God-infused lifestyle.
All this being said, I’m reminded of President Abraham Lincoln, One of the greatest presidents who ever lived, who endured and succeeded despite countless failures and  disappointments, shut doors and heart-aches. Amazingly, he grabbed the bull by the horn  in all his tenacity and audacity…his faith in God almighty.  He prevailed, head held high even during one of America’s most horrific times, the Civil War. Though I’m not faced with anarchy, riots and the threat of assassination, I still am facing a mountain which shall be moved by my obstinate faith in the God who restores and rewards all things.

http://www.school-for-champions.com/history/lincoln_failures.htm#.V3v21hJ4K1s

Weathering Dystonia,  (as president Lincoln faced his own giants) I know that God must have a very important job for me to do in the future and He is preparing and training me for such a time as this. Thankfully, July 5, 20016, we are still in peace here in America and life is somewhat normal. I recently watched a Christian outreach organization,  Ezra International outreach who focused their relief efforts on the refugees from cities near Ukraine. Soldiers had all but demolishes the businesses, neighborhoods and banks by bombs and machine gun fire. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I gazed at the footage of such devastation. Thousands were killed, there were bodies in the streets and many holocaust survivors were starving and left on their own. America could soon be enduring the same fate and I prayed that God would be merciful to the sick, elderly and young ones. Any of us American citizens could suddenly face the terrible war atrocities as our brethren in war-torn Ukraine and any other middle eastern city!

So… it would behoove me…and everyone to thank God that our country is still somewhat intact and not facing the atrocities and hardships of war and judgment.  Maybe for a short time, we are still the land of the free and though my own personal suffering is challenging, t’s nowhere near the suffering of people who’ve had their homes destroyed by bombs and have no where to go to get their next meal.

Dystonia reminds me of the need to be more compassionate, empathetic and giving of my resources to those who have less. Though I’d never wish anyone to endure a condition that robs and diminishes so much of our lives, the blessing in disguise is the  awareness and empathy of others sufferings and the motivation to do something about it!

Perhaps that is the gift Father looks to glean when we face a loss or bodily suffering. May father use you and I greatly to strengthen someone who has a deformity, impediment of disability

SILENCING the SONGBIRD


angel in  copper silk gown1“Lord, help me get through this. Help me, please” I kept saying as my jaw and mouth started to throb and convulse. I boldly accepted my pastor’s invitation to perform at the Jackson Baptist glory Celebration, a musical worship concert of local worship leaders and teams. A week ago, I emailed Pastor Sandra that I’d be performing His Eye is on the Sparrow and It is Well, two of my favorites that I sang to the residents of my area nursing home and the local physical rehabilitation centers. Those two songs were staples because they were a reminder of God’s promise to me that He was with me even in the valley. I had to play these two songs on my guitar almost everyday, just to remind myself that indeed, despite the incessant, tormenting pulling in my neck, the jerking of my arms and the rapid opening and closing of my mouth, one day, I would be released. It took every ounce of focus to do anything of substance. During this TMJ-Dystonia tenure, I’d programmed myself to call upon the Lord to strengthen me.. Steadfast confidence and reliance on Him was always the reward. That was who Father was,…always gracious in answering my prayer to give my best to my performances.

As more people entered the church, I could feel the excitement, which propelled me even more to be in close communion with Father. My husband Mark, saw I was in distress and massaged my neck. A girlfriend showed up, excited and encouraging and also gave me a neck massage.
People were filling into the well-lit church while the musicians and singers waited on the platform for the sound engineer to tweak their sound. My turn came and I adjusted the microphone. An older guitarist gentleman told me I could plug my guitar to his box which was a blessing so I didn’t have to set up all my effects pedals. Then I took a back seat near the edge of the church so people wouldn’t see my mouth contort. I hunched over in my seat, trying to take deep breaths to control the violent pulling and spasming in my neck. I felt an anxiety rise up, which always happened when the muscles got inflamed from the continua movement of my jaw. I continued to pray and stay alert .It was getting harder and harder to stay comfortable and I had to fight the impulse to run to the car and lay on my back for relief.

Finally, the concert started with a vivacious acapella trio. I was third in line. Then my Pastor approached the stage and introduced herself and me. I scurried up to the platform, nonchalant about my nondescript and unglamourous appearance. I’d long ago discarded my adherence to looking beautiful and well-coifed because it took so much energy to get through each hour. It had come to the point where it took an enormous amount of focus to do basic chores, my exercise routine, my daily voice scales and guitar practice. My only concern now, was to focus  on my performance-ministering in God’s anointing. To people enduring catastrophic illness, outward, perfect beauty is the last concern. Our symptoms wear us out to the point that we can’t be concerned that our make-up is perfect. Anyway, my lipstick and mascara always smeared or wore off halfway into any activity. My face always ended up leaning on my hands as I tried to position my head and neck in a comfortable way. Such is dealing with an upper cervical-spinal issue. I felt peaceful as I faced the audience.
“I’m so blessed and thankful to be here tonight despite having a very difficult almost nine years struggling with Dystina-TMJ, a neurological disorder similar to Parkinson. I’m so glad to be here to encourage any of you who are stiffening with any kind of illness. No matter who you are, God cares about what you are going through. Indeed, His eye is on the sparrow and as He is attentive to a tiny sparrow falling to the ground, so much more so are you precious in His sight”

The strains of my guitar and voice filled the church and I felt at ease, hardly aware of any muscles neck spasms. It was amazing how relaxed I now felt,compared to the preceding hour of anguish in my neck. I knew it was all Him! At the end of His Eye Is on the Sparrow, I paused for a second.  My eyes swept across the people’s faces as they sat spell bound watching me and listening to my every word. My face softened and I said, “It is well. It is Well.”
I then felt a surge of strength and stated, “You know, no weapon formed against you shall proper and Satan is under your feet. Get a hold of that and decide to walk powerfully in God’s strength. The devil is under your feet!”

JACKSON BAPTIST Church concert June  5, 2016

The audience grabbed a hold of that one and I preceded to sing It is well. I was joyful to hear one of the drummers accompanying me and my performance came alive with God’s hope and victory for everyone who’d choose to believe that all is well because of Christ’s victory on the cross!

By the third verse, everyone was standing and joined in through the end of the song! The chorus…It is well, with my soul reverberated with the layered harmonies of many voices. It was a transcendent moment for me! Father God punctuated His daughter’s glorifying music performance with His healing presence.

As I left the stage with the applause still lingering, the wicked spasms came back with a vengeance and I told Mark and my friend I had to lay down. I rushed to our HHR car and rested, immediately feeling less pressure in my neck. After about a half an hour, I decided to go back in, in case there was anyone who wanted to talk with me or have prayer. I was immediately approaches by several people One tall lady in particular, grabbed my hand.

“Hello sister and what can I pray with you for?”I asked.

“I was so blessed…so blessed by your songs. ” She gushed with tear-filled eyes. ” I have Lupus and have been very depressed for a long time.” She went on to share a little of her story and then a pastor joined me as I prepared to pray over the sister. Quite a few more people approached me to hug me and shake my hand and then I felt weak with the excitement and challenge of the night. I retreated back to the car to rest.

As I meditate and chronicle this pivotal evening of my life, I ponder the mystery of my battle-journey.  This TMJ-Dystonia condition has affected me in so many ways, some bad, but mostly good. Anyone diagnosed with a chronic illness will first ask, “Why me, God?” Then they will become angry at the injustice of it all and then resign themselves, either to resentment-bitterness or they decide that they will fight back and make the best of it! I have chosen to be the victorer and make the best of this daunting trial and trust that father will get all the glory from it!l

My encouragement to anyone enduring a daily or terminal illness is to weight your thoughts, dreams, standards and hopes by God’s word and His living presence. The Bible doesn’t answer all the the Jobian mysteries of a catastrophic health condition. For me it’s been groping my way through a dark maze and then leaving the “out” door onto a terrain riddled with land mines. Failure and death lurks beside every mine and one wrong step could propel you into the cemetery of resignation. I’ve often asked myself why I forge forward in my research, knowledge of Biblical healing and preventative medicine, (natural healing) when I’m daily almost overwhelmed with these devastating muscle-neurological and bio-chemical abnormalities.

I’ve learned from Dr Caroline Leaf (brain scientist) about the utter complexity of how the brain and the nuero-transmitters react to stress and trauma. From her research I’ve gleaned amazing insight on the importance of learning, meditating and relying on God’s divine and superior knowledge. After all, He did create and fashion our bodies in the most unfathomable ways ways!

Coming from a background of extreme abuse (bullying and domestic violence) and suffering much rejection because of generational sins, and then being redeemed  and transformed by Christ’s Yashuha’s love and freedom, reminds me  of my vow to the evil powers that be, that I will never again live in bondage. Though these devastating symptoms threaten me each day to hold me captive, I’ve relied on God’s Holy Spirit to empower me with His all-abiding strength, resilience and the possibility of total healing-restoration! Who else can promise that? Neither doctors, nor the toxic drugs they push can promise the prefect healing of our physician, Christ the messiah whose very stripes enabled us to walk in restoration!

close up anita OG

I, for one, need nothing else, but Him. The irony of my health journey has been that my enemy has tried to silence me by afflicting the very tools of my ministry. A worship leader-psalmist-speaker’s mouth and voice are the instruments with which she/he expounds God’s healing words, promises and anointed presence. Only in God’s presence is healing, so my enemy has chosen to viciously attack me, ( in my neck, vocal chords, throat and jaw) so that he can shut me down and shut off God’s healing works through me!

Ten years ago, somewhat vivacious and passionately aspired to get signed and go on tour, I never would have imagined to join the ranks of the “disabled” population.  Any pride or self-reliance I had is now completely extinguished and I’ve been brought to the place of humble submission…total reliance on Him alone!. This is Father’s refining process for me. I’m on his potters’ wheel and He is shaping me to what he wishes me to be. (Now, I can’t say that I’m always still and yielding) but mostly, I trust that He knows what He is doing.

He is using a chosen instrument, not of my parents ilk. None of my parents were musicians, nether were any composers or played instruments! It has been a testimony for God to teach me how to play guitar and compose the beautiful Psalms he has given me. It will be seven years since beginning the recording of my album MOD PROPHET and then my worship CD,  The Anointing, His Presence. They are nearing completion, getting more polished and glorious with each song. I will not stop and neither shall my enemy stop my mouth from praising Him and teaching the world of His great promises and Love.

The songbird will sing!

 

HEALING IS the CHILDREN’S BREAD


 Do you remember the poignant story in Mat 21 15-28 of the Canaanite women who approached Jesus in desperation because her precious little daughter suffered demon-possession. Even in her utter grief, Jesus said not a word but  and his disciples urged him to send her away.

Then Jesus turned to her and said,  “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” She was not to be ignored and knelt beside him. “Lord, help me!”His answer was “it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

Instead of retorting in resentment or offense, she  answered, “yes, lord But even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the  their master’s table.”

Jesus was so moved by her audacity that he immediately healed her daughter. She had a bulldog faith that would not let go!

Friend, are you still suffering today with a painful and/or chronic condition even after years of prayer liners, prayer clothes and meditating on your healing scriptures? Could you be missing something or doing something wrong? Could there be some blockage that is keeping you from your miraculous healing? I pray my latest  article on healing will help you uncover any ground you’ve not explored before.

(Unearthing, Addressing and Dismantling  Generational Curses and Iniquities)

Today, let us ask Father Jehovah and Yashuah Jesus to explore the deeper spiritual waters in hopes of toppling the barriers to our healing and wholeness. I hope by sharing transparently, the the mystery of my own bondage and sufferings from uncancelled generational curses  that you also may gain deliverance and freedom. Knowledge is victory.

I was ordained as a minister in 2013 by Pastor-evangelists, Leo and and Edith Fram.  I’ve passionately and consistently been serving my precious Lord Yashuah HaMashiach since 1982 under the authority of a Pentecostal hell-fire and brimstone pastor. I was born to a Puerto-Rican Catholic father who was stationed in German and where he married my beautiful, blonde-haired, green-eyed mother.

In the seventh grade, I suffered a traumatic  event which led to a six year tenure of bullying by 3 black girls, who were under demonic influence. From then on, I suffered shame about my birth heritage. Soon after, my sisters and I suffered childhood abuse and neglect because of my mom’s scorn of my dark-skinned father, (and other buried traumas she endured as a girl in Germany). Dad was also almost driven insane by mom’s fits of rage and antics. Supporting us became so challenged that he decided that foster care would be best for my two younger sisters.. One day, my mom lost her grip with reality, called the cops on me and I was ordered to leave. I was also placed in foster care in my senior year of high school. My life fell apart.

My adult life, feeling orphaned by my parents and supporting myself became overwhelming. I became deeply depressed and bulemic because of shame issues. A few years later in April 1982, a “religious” friend invited me to his church where I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior. I never realized that this was just the beginning of a very long tenure of spiritual battles and health attacks that would be helped by deliverance. It took many years to correctly use the keys Jesus had given me to wholeness & freedom. WHY? Because I had many generational curses and family iniquities that blocked my blessings and wholeness. I had no idea satan still had access to me through these buried generational curses. This is the missing key many Children of God are ignorant of.

After decades of suffering various and recurring health issues, (particularly hay fever, allergies and bronchitis, my younger sister almost died several times from Asthma attacks!) I found out lung ailments were associated with “FREEMASONRY”I had no idea there was any such thing, but it was discovered during a deliverance session that I had Freemasonry in my family line. ( my grandfather in Germany had a hidden life with this secret society group! In another deliverance session, it was found a SANTERIA curse harassing me, (my father was born & raised in Puerto-Rico and by a devout Catholic mother).

Friends, it is hard for me to imagine that as a  committed servant of Jehovah and Yashuah Jesus that I’d be suffering so much. I had a strong calling as  a worship leader and teacher. (Holy Spirit taught me how to compose and write songs on the guitar). I’ve also experienced God using me greatly in the ministering to the sick and dying in hospitals and nursing homes and have been called to preach at funerals. I’ve also counseled, challenged youth as well as professional adults as a behavior counsel our at Nutri-System Weight Loss centers.

I want to tell you all, that when we come to Christ from a family riddled with curses and generational iniquities, everything does not just disappear with the declaring of the salvation prayer. The Bible says we work out our salvation with reverence and trembling…thus it is a process. Phil 2:12 For me it’s been a staggeringly exhausting and arduous process. Imagine being so talented in music, the arts, journalism & being plagued for almost 9 years with a tormenting “movement” suborder, DYSTONIA of the mouth! My mouth, throat and tongue are the tools God uses to lead people into His presence as a worship leader. Imagine being in excruciating pain every waking minute because I refuse to use pain killers which would damage my organs or cloud my mind. (To get through each hour, I discipline myself to declare that I have the MIND of Christ).. After  having countless doctors, chiropractors and neurologists examine me and then being  told there is NO cure …Christ must be my sufficiency, or I will just have a nervous breakdown and give up the fight!

Imagine the shame & frustration of having uncontrollable mouth movements making ugly facial grimaces and feeling the sensation of being choked and can barely breath. Dozens of times, I’ve had to call in prayer lines and also had countless ministers of healing lay hands on me. Countless hours I’ve spent in researching the causes of this TMJ jaw DYSTONIA and am no nearer to relief than 8 years ago. I realize there must be mysterious issues and powers that be here at work. I cry daily   to my Father for strength and refuse to give up my right be be whole. The barrier must be found…and torn down by the blood of Yashuah…and so the mystery tour continues.

If you are in similiar treacherous waters as I’ve been for these eight and half years, (I’m not even counting the ten years earlier fighting a  staggering battle with Lyme Disease and candida), do not give up on the Lord!  Keep knocking, keep seeking. A recent scripture that was sent to me by Pastor Jeff lane from YOU and Me Prayer ministry was,

James 1 2-4  My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into                         divers  temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

So then, he/she who endures til the end shall be saved. Long-term suffering born patiently yields a precious fruit of compassion and empathy for others we meet who are also suffering! Jesus already paid the price for our healing & deliverance. There is no reason for any of His children to be suffering and ineffective for His kingdom. If we are still suffering, perhaps we’re  doing something wrong, have some buried, ancestral harassing spirit, need to press more confidently and expectantly or maybe, we just need to believe and expect our healing is already done! This is what Father Jehovah has taught me. Healing IS the children’s bread.

Sickness is not from the Father, Kynan bridges, author Possessing Your healing. reminds us throughout his wonderful book. Father will deny any good things. Are some of us harboring an “unconscious desire ” for special attention in our sickness so we don’t have to take responsibility to grow and receive the higher things of God? Let us seek Him diligently. Some of us really don’t want to be healed, because it’s out of our comfort zone! Well, folks, Father wants us to rooted & grounded in the faith, not to be forever drinking milk!

Science and medicine correctly deduce a physical-reason for Bi-Polar, depression or any sickness, but…Christ supersedes any emotional or physical condition. Period. .By HIS stripes were are healed. Psalm 103 1-3. Christ is PREEMINENT over ALL. I hope this helps some of you. Watch the 700 club, Sid Roth’s It’s Supernatural and Andrew Wommack’s teaching series on healing. YouTube also has amazing documentaries of divine healing. Have an open mind in Christ and see what He will do. Christ heals every day and everywhere around the world. There is NO excuse to stay emotionally ill for we HAVE the mind of Christ. You need to connect with anointed, supernatural ministries who specialize in deep healing. I thank God everyday for His word which has transformed me. When I start to get depressed about this temporary Dystonia mouth seizures, I rebuke & bind the spirit of depression and declare that I have the mind of Christ…DITTO.

One more thing, denial will keep you in tremendous bondgae and sorrow. The hardest part about starting your journey to healing through deliverance is saying, I am sick or I need help. satan is cunning as he has led so many of God’s people into bondage through spiritual and emotional deception. If he can get us to say, “I don’t need to be delivered from demonic oppression or influence” he will keep us from receiving all of Fathers benefits and blessings. As I said at the beginning of this expository, “healing Is the children’s bread.

Abba, in the name of Yashuah Jesus, I stand in the gap for my brother and sister who is in bondage. I declare that he/she is FREE in the name of Jesus and by His precious blood, they are a new creation. I bind the spirit of deception and delusion and cast you out into the dry places. Holy Spirit, fill this mind NOW with your divine, pure and holy transformation and illumination. Thank You, Father for opening up the spiritual eyes of my brother  or sister. I declare this day, that they are moving towards You and away from all the entrapments, generational curses and family iniquity. Jesus bore our sorrow, sicknesses and dins, so we Thank you NOW that my freind is walking towards complete freedom and deliverance. help him or her to walk in transparency and honesty with you regarding their sin or struggles. Your word says that we should confess our sins to each other. So give us a joyful and repentant heart, In Jesus matchless name, amen.

WHY PRAY?


Prayer is the backbone of the Christian walk and without it, nothing can be accomplished in Heaven or earth. By the very power of our tongues’ confession we can move mountains,  fell giants and change the destiny of peoples and nations.

Many of our brothers and sisters have such a small vision of themselves that they don’t even believe that their prayers are heard. Why? Because they’ve not received a revelation of their identity in Christ.

The effectual, fervent prayer of a man or woman avails much Jam 5:17. Two main descriptive adjectives describe what kind of prayer moves God.  The original translation of fervent means to boil, to be hot, having fervor and zeal. According to Strong’s concordance, effectual,  means to energize or be energized. Barclay describes prayers as empowering contact with God. It’s not only a gateway to God for us, but is a channel to God for us! This should get us exited  because we are being plugged into the divine, all-encompassing power  of our almighty Heavenly Father.

Sometimes, we come into God’s presence as if it’s a chore or obligation. I definitely can understand that in light of the daunting, evil things transpiring around the world at present. Even the most passionate prayer intercessor can get disheartened and weary from travailing in prayer. I know that at times, as Holy Spirit  impress on me to pray about horrific events, particularly the ISIS invasion , (and their barbarically bloody way of Jihad) and the fetus marketing  I’m worn out when done and just want t get under the covers.

I would like to share with you how to get reignited with zeal and passion by reading about and meditating on the great prayer warriors of the Bible and how their prayers succeeded. Let us remember that some of them were fearful or young, but God uses those who are not equipped, but available and willing.

Moses

Moses had such an intimate relationship with God, that he was able to reason with the Lord.  His people, the Israelites resorted to idolatry while He was giving Moses the commandments on  Mount Sinai. God told Moses to go down quickly because he was about to consume His own people. Moses prayerful reply was reminding Jehovahah of the covenant He’d made with Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Then the Lord relented. When an intercessor knows his identity in His Heavenly Father, he is able to stand in the gap fr the people he leads. Many times Moses tried to convince God from not destroying the people because of unbelief and rebellion. Most of us are also familiar with Moses most famous exploit, parting the Red Sea.

Gideon

Gideon was a man called out by God as a judge during the period of the Judges  An angel of the Lord appeared and  called him a mighty man of valor!  Gideon replied that his clan, Manasseh was the weakest clan and he was least in his father’s house. His prayerful response was asking the Angel why his people were in such derision and ended his discourse with asking if he could lay out a fleece to prove His promise. God was gracious and listened to Gideon’s reasoning. From henceforth, Gideon boldly destroyed his father’s  Baal altar and later subdued the vicious Midainites! No matter what background or station in life, when God calls us to do great exploits, we can be assured that we will be victorious because He has called us to do it!

Joshuah

Since Joshua’s first escapade with the eleven other spies, he continued to be bold and faithful to God’s commands. He and Caleb didn’t flinch when they saw the size of the giants who occupied the land they were ordained to possess. num 13  Caleb had a different spirit than the other spies.  When Caleb announced to the Isrealites that the protection of the Anakim, ( a certain race of giants) was gone, they still protested because of intimidation of Caleb;s confidence that they tore their clothe and wanted to stone, Joshua, Caleb and Moses. The Lord was angry about their lack f faith and cowardice and  said that the only ones who would enter the promised land would be  Joshua and Caleb. These two men were greatly  favored and revered militarily. In another amazing miraculous episode, Joshua asked Gd to still the sun from going down so he and the army could finish ff their adversaries, 

Nehemiah:

Nehemiah was another beloved man f God who had a heart fr his people the Jews. He was cup bearer to King, Artaxerxes

Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

“Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’

10 “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. 11 Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favorin the presence of this man.”

Nehemiah was of an excellent spirit, compassionate and focused to organize the rebuilding of the beloved city, Jerusalem. The walls were breached in many places and broken down completely in others. Even the people’s spirits were broken, but he planned, organized and followed through with the rebuild ed. There were  several daunting adversaries intimidating the workers and who wanted to assassinate Nehemiah. Nevertheless, He prayed and those below him prayed fr God’s strength and success.anon

King Jehoshaphat

2 Chron 20 tells of King Jehoshaphat suddenly being encompassed-by the Moabites, Ammonites and other gro.  He was very afraid and had the people fast.

Lord, the God of our ancestors, you alone are God in heaven. You rule all the kingdoms of the nations. You are so powerful that no one can oppose you. You, our God, drove out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and gave this land to the descendants of your friend Abraham forever. They have lived in it and have built a sanctuary in honor of your name in it, saying, ‘If calamity, sword, flood,[c] plague, or famine comes upon us, we will stand before this temple, before you, because your name is in this temple. We will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’ 10 So look here! The Ammonites, the Moabites, and those from Mount Seir—the people you wouldn’t let Israel invade when they came out of Egypt’s land, so Israel avoided them and didn’t destroy them— 11 here they are, returning the favor by coming to drive us out of your possession that you gave to us!12 Our God, won’t you punish them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We don’t know what to do, and so we are looking to you for help.”

The Holy Spirit came upon the attending prophets and told King Jehoshaphat that the Lord would be with them and t not be afraid.  The King prepared for the victory by appointing singers to give praise before the Lord. They were to march in front f the army. The Lord launched a surprise attack n the armies and thousands f corpses all lay n the ground.

There are many other  stories of the great conquests by  God’s leaders, prophets, kings and servants and time just doesn’t permit me to share them all. They all had several things in common.

Queen EstherEsther

Queen Esther’s story is most amazing because she  started out as an orphan. Her cousin, Mordecia  adopted  and raised her. Esther’s Jewish name is Hadassah and she ended up being chosen as King Xerxes new queen after his former Queen Vashti was dethroned.  From all the many maidens, Esther excelled over them all. But the king  did not know her heritage.   Esther was faced with the greatest crisis of her life when Mordecai revealed an insiduos plane where Haman, the king’s second man in commend, caused King Ahaseraus to write a decree that all the Jews in the Land should be destroyed. When Mordecai found out, he told Esther.  She then called all the people of Susa to fast for three days as well as her maidens.  Esther knew her God and knew that He would deliver her and her people. The king could not change his decree, but  Mordecia convinced her that  it may be her destiny “for such a time as this” to stand and deliver her people. As it turned out, Esther requested to see the King and he heard her request. The king issued a Deere where the Jews would be able to defend themselves if any came to harm them. For this reason was the great queen Esther revered and the Jews celebrate the  holiday of Purim.

https://regalgraces.wordpress.com/2013/10/28/esther-image-influence-and-status-4/comment-page-1/#comment-36

Daniel

Devote American Christian saints today complain that we are vexed by our  perverted culture, but there is nothing new under the sun. Daniel and  his friends were taken away and forced to live the Babylonian culture. He spent his whole life serving in the royal court of Babylon.Despite the influences of the pagan culture., Daniel thrived, communing intimately with His God. He was so focused, that he prayed three times a day, with his windows opened toward Jerusalem. Daniels’ captorss acknowledged that Daniel’s outstanding wisdom, training and intelligence was from His mighty God.  That dedication to God paid off when Daniel had to endure being thrown int the lion’s den;  Fellow servants of the King, came to accuse Daniel of not obeying the decree to worshiping him alone. The king was grieved because he loved Daniel and so revered the exceptional live he lived because of his God, Yahweh. They pressured the king and Daniel was thrown  into the lion’s den.

In the morning. after a sleepless night, the king rushed to the den were Daniel was and cried, “Daniel, servant of the living Gd, has your God delivered you from the lion’s?” He knew who the true God was. God is always near too those of a broken and contrite spirit. Gd always hears the cries of His children who are in covenant with Him. Do you disbelieve God’s almighty power and ability to save? I urge you to test Him. Taste and see…that He truly is good! You’ll not be disappointed.

God’s great prayer warriors have  several things in common

  • They were totally commuted to God
  • They were focused on Him alone being the victory over whatever challenge they had to face.
  • They were courageous
  • Most important, they knew how to worship and revere Him

Jesus, our advocate, intercedes on our behalf. Rom 8:34 When the disciples asked him how to pray, He gave us The Lord’s prayer as a templet. We should always remember  that He isn’t a magic genie or Santa Claus. He is Holy and we should enter in with reverence and honor Him for who He is… Creator of heaven and earth and God of the universe. Blessed are we that whenever we’re in a sudden bind and  can only say a quick prayer, God immediately hears us!  Let us thank Him for all our miracles and provision.

Whenever we feel our prayers aren’t being answered or we feel we are unworthy to have our prayer heard, we should recall and meditate on these aforementioned brethren who believed in their great God and loving father, for He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! If we are in covenant with Father and abide in the vine, every prayer is always heard. It is time for us to enter boldly, with confidence and reverence and expectation.

 

 

 

 

TRANSPARENCY WITH GOD, Pt 2


 

 

CHRISTIAN MASKS

Two years ago, one a dear pastor-mentor asked me if I would connect in a woman who seeking a prayer warrior. I agreed and contacted the sister. We clicked.  I couldn’t wait to “storm the gates” of hell with her in prayer each morning. She was also a natural healer-practitioner who wanted to assist me in my Lyme Disease and Dystonia battle. We had our love for our cats and composing worship songs as common ground and talked about everything wonderful, musical and spiritual under the sun. She introduced me to a very complicated and very costly protocol, (costing well into thousands of dollars). I balked at the cost and reminded her that healing from Jesus never put anyone into a lifetime of debt. I wasn’t being facetious, just concerned about the burden of juggling so many supplements with foods and the RIFE machine. I was shocked when I received an eight page very angry,  condemning letter that made me cry for half an hour! When I emailed her and as her if she was mad at me, I got no comment and never heard from her again. That last I heard, she emailed my husband with news she had lost her rental house and was living in her car. She I was heart-broken that she was destitute and sick. Mark and I decided to bless her with a check and one of my hand-made beaded chokers to let her know she was still a Queen in Father’s eyes.

I reeled with shock and grief at the sudden severing of this relationship, but abrupt endings of this nature happen everyday for people all over the world. It can emotionally traumatic to receive a damning letter from someone you loved and trusted. Events like these often disturbed my peaceful momentum, especially since I came from a background of abuse, but I’ve learned to focus on restoring peace and harmony by bringing the schism to the Lord, forgiving and praying for the person. I then become creative and joyful again. Our response to angry confrontations is to pray for those who persecute or offend us and especially if they are our brethren. We should also not gloat over any misfortunes that befall for the way of love is showing compassion.

When we are hurt, insulted or accused of something we didn’t do or say, our flesh can allow our tongues to set aflame a forest fire of retaliatory damage. We must consistently abide in Father-Jesus presence to keep our flesh bridled. Paul tells us in Rom 12:18 to try as much as possible to live at peace with all men.

The glorious and transforming essence emanation emanating from Holy Ghost through us determines the outcome of Father’s blessing and provision. When we discipline ourselves to flow in His unconditional love, (and forgiveness) we will see a local, national and global soul-harvest We often hear it said “There is strength in unity” We just have to read our newspaper headlines blaring examples of chaos and disunity all across our own America everyday. Scattered groups seethe in civil disobedience. Racial hatred and rioting brews between law enforcement and angry protesters. Political parties are also in disunity about how to address and solve the problem of an ever-rising and astronomical debt. Going down the line, we see husbands and wives at enmity with each other mistrusting each others motives, manipulating to get needs meet and controlling to Lord over. Here is an example of a fragmented and disunified America at her worst.

To God’s dismay, His people are in the same position, disorganized, squabbling, impotent , pathetic, not to forget busy-bodies scrutinizing everyone’s walk and business but their own. Do we really think Jesus is coming for a bride in this condition?
It is time to look in the mirror and ask Holy Spirit to scrutinize us for the purpose of purifying us.

We cannot continue in our state and expect to see God’s supernatural signs and wonders. His hands are tied by our self-righteousness, unresolved conflicts, prejudice, harshness, and condemnation which weakens the fragile fibers of God’s tapestry, His church. Imagine a complicated machine with many parts and electrically powered. If there is a short somewhere in the wire and the connecting wires are severed, the machine won’t work. Once the breach is repaired either by soldering or reconnecting the wire, the machine does its magic. This is how the body of Christ also operates.

Apostle Paul gave us a beautiful descriptive picture of how important everyone of us is in the body. Each child of God is a crucial part of the smooth-running of His body! Two people, a couple or a group can have a schism and all are affected. The momentum of the machine is slowed down or stopped. We wonder why our ministries, marriages and finances are not flourishing and as an ever-flowing fountain of water. We cannot expect for fruit from works of the flesh. Peace and joy comes from an uncluttered and pure spring. When we walk in love, we bear patiently with each other and are tender-hearted.

Paul tells us to bear each others burden Gal 6:2 We are all responsible for each other growth and well-being. We shouldn’t stand idly by if a brother or sister is in sin or making poor choices for his life and family. Wise and mature elders are to groom and teach the younger and inexperienced. This is how the body of Christ should operate, in fullness and harmony. The trend of Christian apathy must change in the United States and the heavy burden should not be borne by the tiny percentage of intercessors? All of us are responsible with our gifts, talents and abilities to mesh with each other in divine harmony.

… 25 …so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 27 Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it. 1 Cor 12 25-27

I’ve had to deal with many other disturbing and confrontational issues with various people. I most stressful one with one of my husband’s friends, a fellow minister who thought it was his calling to scrutinized my every spontaneous ministry endeavor-activity. He’d often counsel my husband.

“You need to control that situation.” or ” My wife would never do that. Anita is out of order.” Once too many times, my husband would remark during a spat, “I need to put my foot down like pastor ( no name disclosed)  says!”  Looks like an insecure, controlling and manipulative spirit here. This  man needs to mind his own business and pray about me if he is that  bothered. that much by my excitement to go out spontaneously to minister at a nursing home. This type of scrutinizing and controlling advice is  greatly damaging to a marriage and certainly does nothing to build up a wife’s hospital ministry!

I also had to deal with  the contention of another Christian brother who would start a discourse with my husband and end  six to seven hours later into the wee hours into the night!  Though his visits were infrequent, the tiny window of time my husband and I was often devoured by his nebulous conversations. He could not see my concern for my husband’s need for  sleep and our need for quality time together on the week-ends. He was obstinate with pride and refused to be courteous and respect our marriage covenant and relationship. The last time he came to visit, he exploded in anger when I asked my husband to reserve the last hour of Sunday night for our time. He was so enraged by my request to my husband that he wrote me a 10 page letter beginning with how domineering I was. I couldn’t believe that the same man I prayed with in my car after my grocery shopping two years ago was the same person who lunged at me in rage in my own house!

He has yet to apologize, but I’ve forgiven him and moved on in prayer for him and God restoring our friendship.

Another strange confrontation happened to me about eleven years ago. A dear Christian musician-artist sister’s husband bawled me out one day by phone with the most hateful accusations. He didn’t believe my intentions with his wife (or our relationship) was godly. I loved being around this sister and loved being involved in perforating and ministry. he called me a user and manipulator and that I manipulated my best friend-music partner for years. I was so shocked and sick for days!

I didn’t hear from this dear woman for over eleven years, but never ceased praying and blessing them. Just imagine the fruit of our friendship, the fellowship and ministering to souls with our combined gifts. Satan loves to disturb the balance and harmony of God’s people with mistrust, hard-hardheartedness and pride.If this couple would have sat down and we all reasoned and listened wirth the Spirit, many wonderful things could have been accomplished for the kingdom.

Satan’s spirits are usually at the root of angry, hateful confrontations or accusations and we must be on guard to his devices. When the body is weakened by unforgivesnness, bitterness and false slander, we cannot overcome the attacks that come our way. Our prayers are hindered by our prideful resistance to apologize and reason in fairness and love!

So, here is the connection between the rise of ISIS, racial tension, persecution, genocide and every other malignant evil. The body of Christ is the salt of the earth.We are the city of a hill and from which all nations should look too because of our righteous and obedience to god’s commandments and ordinances!Proverbs 29:2 tell us that the righteous increase, the people rejoice. But when a wicked man rules, the people groan.

America and the rest of the world are groaning!

The enemy gains power when God’s people are weak with strife, disharmony and pride. For the creation awaits in eager expectation for the revelations of the sons of God! Rom 8:19. It is time that we all gaze into God’s mirror and see the haggard, weary sin-scarred visage staring back at us. Let us not believe in the deceiver who has fooled us into thinking that we are right with God because we are memorizing scripture, attending Saturday or Sunday services, keeping the Shabbat, tithing (and even praying (in the flesh). Let us worship…in Spirit and in truth. John 4:24

How fruitful are our “godly” activities when we’ve ignored and minimized our broken or strained relationship? Husband do you belittle or ignore your wife’s passion to win souls and her passion for heavenly things? Wife do you neglect to cook, take care of the house and honor your husband? Children, do you disrespect and rebel against your parents? Pastors and elders are you meddling in people’s “out of the box” marriages and ministries when it’s none of your business? These are some of the “insignificant”(in our eyes) sins, but crucial as far as the health and fruitfulness of the body of Christ.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
Let us not love not in word but in deed. 1 John 3:18 Let us not do cheap lip service, “I love and pray ” for so and so everyday, yet we talk about them like dirt behind our backs. Beloved, Help us Holy Spirit to love each other fervently and with pure hearts., forgiving each other.
Help us to be transparent with You and with each other, confessing our sins so we can walk in healing and joy!

In the matchless name of Your Son, Jesus, Yashuah
Aman

Previous Older Entries