WHAT NOW?


WHAT NOW?
The Election Of Donald J Trump as our 45 President
I woke up to the glorious news, that our new president is Donald J Trump.

Trump’s victory is monumental shift in the spiritual, political and economical atmosphere of our nation. Why? Because the United States has plummeted to the depths of depravity and staggering decay. You may ask, how is that so?

First I want to say that I write this expository not as a republican, but as a devote daughter and servant of Jehovah God most High, the Creator of the universe. I aspire to walk in the ways of His Son, Jesus Christ and His commandments .I am first a Christian, than a musician and then a woman.

Three years ago, I was immersed in my career and talent as a performer-recording artist. My life was centered around music, learning songs, getting my other band-mates prepared for the next gig, enlarging our fan base, promotion and booking gigs. Most of us adults have our own agenda or itinerary for our busy lives. Many adults are also parents, so most of their energy and time goes into their children and the kids affairs. In a nutshell, very few of us, (except many journalists and reporters) are adequately informed about the details of the various national ills, (and there are many, including abortion, child molestation, sex-trafficking, pornography, lawlessness, violent protesting, fraud, occultic influences, police assassination, racial division, and many more. My heart breaks for the diminishment of His creation because of deceived and demonic leadership. One only has to read the old testament prophets accounts of what happens to nations who surrender to rebellion, debauchery and disobedience. Truly, the mainstream population refuses to have anything to do withe honoring and keeping God’s commandment. I’ve seen many examples of downright disrespect towards Jehovah God by YouTube liberals, atheists and democrats would spit in God’s face if they could. I fear and cry for their souls!

The Dystonia condition which I was diagnosed with in 2006 worsened, but with its worsening came an urgent unction to pray and seeks God’s face. With that seeking, came His directives to address the crisis and ills plaguing our nation and which was drawing us closer and closer to the abyss of divine destruction,. God cannot tolerate sin and it seems very few (including professing Christian) have any desire to understand the mechanics and consequences of rebellion and disobeying His commandment.

I want to point out that my understanding regarding God’s perfect plan and mandate for His people in America came from the burden and weakness of enduring this Dystonia battle. Though it has been a daunting struggle each day, I must now consider it a blessing in disguise because it has established in me the calling of intercessor. It is in the war room that I find God’s strength to travail for the souls of men, women and children before the hammer of judgment comes down. .

I desire to see (through His wise eyes) and partner with Him to heal humanity from sin and depravity. My blood curdles in grief as I read about or watch the videos of the street massacre, violence and terrorist attacks here and abroad. Sadder yet, is the deceived responses of our professing brothers and sisters who are cussing and cursing Donald Trump. I wonder who has blinded their eyes?

Rest assured, those who are tweeting ” “Assassinate Donald “will be held accountable to God. Haters of Donald are haters of God because Jehovah God has chosen him to be His King Cyrus for America. God help those deceived who are thinking to do harm to our new president. God told us in the Bible, “Touch not mine anointed” Donald Trump was anointed by God for such a time as this. “Be not mocked, God will hold accountable. and woe to anyone who despises who God has appointed.

Here is a message for scoffers, God-haters, Donald J Trump Haters and haters of Gods commandment. For anyone ignorant of God’s commandment, I will give you a list of what Biblical righteous is and how it brings God’s blessing.

1. Exodus 20:13 Thou shalt not murder. The murder of the innocent unborn since the passing of Roe VS Wade in 1973 is one main reason God has to judge. Deuteronomy 18:10 There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer. It’s been revealed that the Clintons and their circle has been involved in child sex-trafficking and occultist satanic rituals. This is an abomination to God!

2. Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Are most of the leaders, politicians and citizens walking justly or showing mercy? The murder of our police officers is certainly not showing mercy and neither are the violent threats by the Black Lives Matter entity. Violence and retaliation is the opposite of what Jesus Christ, the Messiah taught. He said we are to forgive and pray for our enemies. Mat 5:44 How can the leaders of anarchist groups expect God’s blessing on their hatred. It’s not going to happen.

Most of the American people have lost their direction and the ability to discern between good and evil because their spiritual compass has been damaged by demonic influences and strongholds. Jesus gave us a simple guideline as to how to deduce a righteous person or leader. You check their fruits.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control . Gal 5:22.

If a person or leaders person exhibits bad fruit most of the time, they are unrighteous. The acts of the flesh are sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry, sorcery; hatred, discord, jealousy, rage; rivalries, divisions, factions, Galatians 5 19&20. Any moral and sensible person would clearly discern that the Black Lives Matter (and any other violent group including ISIS, Hamass, Neo-Nazi groups and the like) group is ruled by anger, hatred and unforgiveness. Why would the American people support any candidate or leaders who has strong ties to the Muslim leaders who support Sharia Law? Obviously, many of our brethren are very uninformed, ignorant or just don’t care to do their research and educate themselves about righteousness and liberty. It is astounding to me the ignorance and stupidity of many of our college students and  professors who  support socialism! They should go to Cuba or Venezuela if they love socialism that much. And remember to take extra toilet paper because the people can’t  get it!

Too many of us are immersed in our own, small world.  I was certainly that way  five years ago.  I’ve spent thousands of reviewing t articles and videos of crisis-laden nations and cultures.  Many of us have no idea of the suffering and hopelessness  crushing citizens living under communist regimes.  Freedom of religion, freedom to defend themselves and entrepreneurship is denied. Under Sharia law, women are the victims of great abuse and suffering. Their husbands are allowed to beat them, they  suffer genital mutilation and not allowed to drive. A far cry from the democracy of the United States of America!

3. Work is good and the heartbeat of  a healthy American economy. Free entitlements also seem to be the deciding factor for voting democrat. Since when is the government  responsible for supporting the needy and especially able-bodied men who don’t want to work?

The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” 2 Thes 3:10  Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Tim 5:8  God ordained work,  Adam and Eve were required to tend and keep the garden.  Support from the church was for certain widows who passed the criteria of lifelong service and godliness. The bottom line, history has proven that Socialism doe not work in the long run and nations who adopted it have failed miserably and put their citizens in dire straits. That is a fact.

God has given His people a great and merciful reprieve and we must be diligent in redeeming the time to bring in the harvest of souls. Our parents and grandparents slacked off in their calling to be the salt of America, so now we must take the Holy baton and run for the finish line.   May we pray for President Trump to seek the counsel of many advisors and that he will humble himself to God’s guidance. Here is where the saints must commit to strong intercession on his behalf in order that Father grants us the glory of a massive harvest of souls. Here is where we can love and support the refugees with Christ’s love.. Here is the opportunity for God to endue His people with new strategic solutions for the support of veterans,  the homeless, our unborn and their pregnant, unwed mothers. Their needs to be education and rehabilitation for boys and men to respect and honor girls and women. They need to know how disgraceful it is to see females as nothing but  entertainment for their pleasure!  Date rape, child molestation arises because of a disrespect for  the female race..We girls and women must also erect  strong boundaries regrading our sexuality and identity. Here is where parents, teachers as well as law enforcement must work together to  establish guidelines for respectful behavior.

We truly have our work cut out for us!. When pastors and leaders get the revelation that they need to teach the people how be properly and powerfully equipped for spiritual warfare, America will be a safer and more blessed nation. Demonization of even the godly is becoming more common because of dabbling with the occult and witchcraft. Satan will try to access any toe-hold to our spirit, so we must be diligent to guard our hearts, eyes and minds. We must not even take a sneak peek at pornographic images on our TVs, computers and magazines.

And so my brothers and sister abiding in Christ, we will have the victory May we be totally devoted to God’s commends and His righteous precepts and we will be blessed.

If you do not know why catastrophe has befallen America,. God told Moses:: in Deuteronomy 30

15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

Nothing could be more clear as what pleases God and . If you do not agree with His command, than you’ll have to wait for the day when we will stand before Christ as the Bema seat. Here we will be judged for what we have done  whether good or evil in our lives.

And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.
Revelation 20:12

May you choose life, so you can live and be blessed. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VOTES on the PRECIPICE


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The trumpet has blown and  we prayer warriors of the most High God, Jehovah are positioning ourselves for the greatest  spiritual battle of all time. For such a time as this, many have bee groomed and primed for Father’s exclusive use. As the prophet Joel, prophesied, many would have dreams and visions of the end times. God gives  visions of judgment and disaster so that His people know how to pray against it, (or at least to pray for the least amount of damage ). Visions are not always written in stone, so rather than we just sitting on our hands and doing nothing, it behooves us to consider the privilege of intercession and fasting. When disaster comes, so comes a great loss of life. This is exactly what satan loves, people meeting their end without God’s salvation.

Satan has many of us distracted and focused on the circus  and chaotic results of the debates and campaign. Meanwhile, we’ve lost sight of God’s concern…souls.  The righteous are faced with addressing the consequences of  a certain candidate inheriting the office.  Life in American as we know it will be so radically different that there will be rioting and  maybe even civil war…and most horrific yet, World War III!

The stability of our national destiny should be the urgent prayer priority of every believer in God and we should be considering how to get our lives in order and our hearts right with God.  We should be imagining  how difficult life would be for our children and grandchildren.  At this crucial time in history, how we should be often in our war rooms, petitioning and crying out to our Heavenly Father to intervene  the behalf of ourselves and loved ones.

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We  stand at the precipice of the  future of our nation and we must seek God to correctly  interpret the words of his prophets, his servants who gave us insight about righteous and  wrong political and civic choices. ever before.  Sadly wisdom  and information online  still evades many of our brethren who are still slumbering  and those who are partially awake are still misguided by demonic deception..

God’s people can make an educated guess by deducing a candidates past and present fruits. Jesus said, “You’ll know them by their fruits. Mat 7:15 . No good tree gears bad fruit and no bad tree can bear good fruit. None of the candidates are perfect. and that has made many American citizens,  frustrated and confused.  We should do some investigating regarding the success of the candidates civic service.

While driving home from work, I recalled the many comments from people on YouTube and Facebook regarding the coming elections. .Many say they want no part of the circus hoopla.  God’s word rose up in me regarding Donald Trump,

                      God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those     who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are,…so that no one may boast in His presence!. 1 Cor 1:27

Some odd thing  God used for His purpose Balaam’s donkey.

Then the LORD gave the donkey the ability to speak. “What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times?” it asked Balaam. Num 22:28

And God used Samson’s donkey jawbone to destroy his enemies!  Then Samson said, “With the jawbone of a donkey, I’ve piled them in heaps! With the jawbone of a donkey, I’ve killed a thousand men!” Judges 15:16

Did God care about the undignified objects he used for His purpose? He also used undignified people; the  cowardly, (Gideon), an orphan, Queen Esther-Hadasah,  a  gentile  widow, Ruth,  Rahab, a harlot, and impulsive, loose canon, Peter.  In this election, God is using a modern Cyrus, to  modern Cyrus to preside over his people.

In such a time as this, God is calling His people to ascend to higher heights of  faith-trust so we can weather the great political, social and spiritual storm facing us  Holy Spirit is wooing us to deeper levels of discernment/ wisdom and obedience. The body of Christ is embroiled in a tug-of-war  on earth as also in the heavenlies)as we watch the two candidates duke it out.  The hosts in heaven are embroiled in a huge battle engaging the hosts of hell, with  Satan at the helm, directing the demonic  battalions to wear out the saints of the most high God..

As the masses complain and  ridicule, we intercessors, reporters and journalists try  to make sense of it all and  for those who are still in limbo regarding voting. My interest in the presidential race goes beyond the  fanfare and media hype.The results of the elections provoke my humanitarian and philanthropic concerns.  The unborn, children and victims of Obama care have suffered under the bills of  the present administration. The elderly, hospice patients and veterans could also join the ranks of the aforementioned.

Many Black and Latino brethren have also been misled by propaganda,  ignorant and uninformed about the truth behind the  genocide of the Black unborn by Planned Parenthood.

.Our brother, David Harris junior, gives us a moving and  devastating account of why abortion has made our United States ripe for God’s judgment hammer. God’s true children deem infanticide as murder,  which is an abomination.  Thank you brother david for this moving video.

An unplanned pregnancy is not the end of the world or  a woman’s life. YouTube abounds with glorious stories of women who kept their babies and these babies fulfilled God’s wonderful plans.  God honored women who chose life for their babies!

Pastor Jim Garlow who recently guested on the Jim Bakker show, gave a succinct overview of the importance of voting. He touches on  how a socialist agenda doesn’t promote entrepreneurship, creativity or the health of our economy. The entitlement=driven  agenda also permanently depresses the underclass. He also gives a mini lesson on who and what Globalism is. It would behoove us all do our research, pray and fast for the future of our nation. This Jim Bakker episode has the most  information and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone who wants to be in the know about issues facing our nation.

How and Why You Need to Vote! (Day 2)

http://www.charismanews.com/politics/elections/60397-the-christian-vote-counts-in-this-election.

Here is a checklist of the issues a Godly candidate (for  our presidency should uphold and embrace..

Christian Voting Guide

1, The Sanctity of Life

2.  Our kinship and support of Israel

3.. Sanctity of  traditional marriage as one man and one woman

4.  The Empty seat vacated by  Judge Scalia

5. The Immigration (border)  Refugee Issue

We should not be focusing on trivial tabloid scandals, but focusing on the needful and crisis issues our next president needs to address. The future of our nation depends upon God’s people  being led by Holy Spirit.  We need to pray Father, thy will be done. Two dear pastor friends of mine, Pastor Augusto Perez and Pastor Ray Thoman have been blowing the trumpets for years now and say God’s people need to start seeking God’s face as never before. Pastor Augusto says that God’s people must stop looking at the natural. God wants us to acquiesce to His plan and purpose for America. He will bless when we are all in harmony. and walking in divine wisdom and revelation.

 

May God bless you as you stand as a good steward of the gift of voting which God has availed. I do not want to stand before Christ at the Bema seat and be ashamed that I squandered the many gifts He has blessed me with. May we all be His excellent stewards! God bless you all and may God bless America once again.j

THE GLORY OF KOINONIA, Part 2


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This week-end, my husband , Mark, struck up a conversation with a cook who was preparing his order. During the conversation, the pleasant young man remarked how he didn’t like the situation with the cooking oil that fried the pork also mingled with the other fried foods. He told Mark that his faith, Islam, prohibited the eating of pork. When the young man went outside for a cigarette break, Mark pointed out that he was concerned about defiling his body, yet he smoked. Then he shared about his Christian faith and his stance on dietary commandments. Then Jason told Mark he used to be a Christian.

A Facebook friend asked for prayer on her Facebook page. She was devastated about her boyfriend’s best friend committing suicide. She shared how wonderful and gifted he was and everyone’s shock about the shocking tragedy. As I basked in the warm sun, my heart suddenly ached for all the precious people who thought ending their life was the only way to end their torment. Even Christins were suicidal and I wondered what the missing link was.

Two other Christian brothers were also enduring a season of “disconnectness”.I continued to think about the various states of human emotion, embracing of life connection. The exquisite bed of soft solitude allowed me to even more deeply empathize with the emotion of alienation. I wondered what catalysts caused such separation in the spirit that ne would end their life. I continued to open my spirit to Holy Spirit for more understanding and insight. I thought of the Beatle’s Eleanor Rigby, John Lennona and Paul McCartney merely scratched the surface.

My thoughts went to a few relationships in my own life which had been severed suddenly by the other person. I felt very sad, having done all I could to reach out in love with a gifts and words of love. In both cases, the other person was a continual talker and most of the conversation was from their viewpoint. I must admit my weakness in not enjoying long, mostly one-sided long discourses . These people are insightful and intelligent, but their inability to venture out of themselves makes intimacy (and the continuation of the realtionship) difficult. Being so challenged with the TMJ- jaw-Dystonia issue, I need to limit my speaking. But if I am inspired by the equality and graciousness of the conversation, (not consisting extraneous verbiage and long-winded rambling). It can be draining and not edifying. And usually when the person talks for son long, I usually forget what I wanted to say!

Stimulation and inspiring conversationalist are rare. As I’ve often mentioned in many of my blogs and teachings walking in God’s excellence encompasses every aspect of life, particularly communicating and relationships. I believe poor communication, (with God and with each other) skills and self-centeredness is one great cause of sickness.

Stimulation and inspiring conversationalist are rare. As I’ve often mentioned in many of my blogs and teachings walking in God’s excellence encompasses every aspect of life, particularly communicating and relationships. I believe poor communication, (with God and with each other) skills and self-centeredness is one great cause of sickness.

God ordained marriage and family for His glory and companionship Today, dependence on technology, (whoever instantaneous and far-reaching) has caused a great deficiency and quality of substance. Some keep in touch through emailing and texting, but there is truly nothing as fulfilling and nurturing as one on one, face to face contact.

Koinonia, (intimate fellowship) is a very fragile and complicated skill-attribute which can only be nourished by Holy Spirit. Koinonia is more than socializing, fellow shipping or hanging out. Koinonia is an unselfish desire to reach out with genuine interest and passion . It is also humbling ones own superiority in favor of allowing another to freely express himself.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Pual wrote in Phil 2:4 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

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Koinonia, intimacy, is a very fragile and complicated skill which can only be nourished by Holy Spirit. Koinonia is more than socializing, fellow shipping or hanging out. Koinonia is an unselfish desire to humble ones own self in favor of allowing another to freely express himself. My prayer is that this precious revelation Holy Spirit gave me today, will will more illuminate the all in the body of Christ!

The Bible describes a special relationship between David and Jonathan in I Sam. 18:1 .

The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Do we love each other as our own souls, or do we just tolerate each other. If an experienced elder gives us advice, are we resentful of offended> Do we disdain those who are not as intelligent or educated as us? Do we even go as far to severe a  connection because of an irreconcilable difference? There are times to separate, (if the difference is spiritually or emotionally wounding) and minister from afar if there are urgent physical needs. We should keep in mind the urgency of staying together in these very dark times. The government and the non-believing world will not be the shelter when disaster hits! It is the haven of the body of Christ which will be the safe place.

Since every child of God, is adopted into the royal family, we are all called to unity Eph 4:12

The following verses are some of the most sobering verses in the Bible regarding our quality of stewardship and collectively participating with the building of God’s house!

1 Cor 3 11-15 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; 13 Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.14 If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.15 If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

The bottom line, I ask holy Spirit daily, am I building up Father’s house or…am I tearing it down? God’s plan is to equip the saints for works of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, When God’s people start empathizing and show genuine interest in each other, we won’t feel, unloved, isolated and rejected. We will find purpose, joy and fulfillment in family, marriage and our love walk with God.

Heavenly Father, please pour you sweet Holy Spirit in even more glorious ways upon your body. So many lonely people are isolated, misunderstood and disregarded. Each one of us is special, fashioned by your won majestic hands, Father, let us continually forgive and let those who who hurt or offend us, also consider and ask forgiveness, so your family can be the LIGHT of the world You called her to be. Father mend the broken hearts in all of us and help us to be honest with You first and then with each other. Help us to take the lower seat, to get out of ourselves and to be interested in the interests of others! That will be a connective bond to draw us closer. Let us all, realize that none of us knows everything and if we humble ourselves and calls ourselves students of life, we will enjoy the wonderful of friendship and Koinonia. In Jesus name, amen.

God bless you beloved and may this post bring you into growth!

OCEAN GROVE GOSPEL Summer Boardwalk Concert


ANITA IVETTE FERRER & Brave Flame

Worship and Praise @ OCEAN GROVE BOARDWALK PAVILION

OCEAN GROVE, NJ

SATURDAY AUGUST 27, 2016

3 PM

Leading Worship at Ocean Grove Summer Concert Series with my Taylor

Songwriter-Producer, inspirational speaker, journalist, life coach,
impassioned health advocate, fashion maven-designer, Jazz Diva,
artist/photographer, and worship leader-ordained minister, Anita Ivette Ferrer,
is a consummate professional, giving her very best to everyone she meets.
Though life has thrown many curve balls, ( Lyme Disease, Domestic violence,
child abuse and the past 9 years, TMJ- Dystonia), Anita channels her
victorious energy to write books, record her albums, photograph and share the beauty that has moved her , perform her music and most of all, encouraging and helping  those who’ve fallen in their lives.

BRAVE FLAME PRODUCTIONS & OUTREACH   non-profit

Provides emergency Food packages for challenged individual or families

Provides bedside visitation and prayer for terminally ill

Provides  inspirational  Christian material, (books, DVDS, CDS) for discipleship

Provides edifying and counseling for new and young Christian believers

Provides Music. speaking and educational outreaches to churches, schools and correctional-maximum security facilities

Provides entertainment & visitation for nursing home & assistant living centers

Teaching beginning to advanced voice and beginning to intermediate guitar to children and adults

Brave Flame was incepted in 1992

Anita Ivette Ferrer and her husband, Mark depend on faithful partners to support the great needs of the   Monmouth, Ocean and Burlington County areas. We covet your financial gifts and prayers.  Anita’s exquisite hand-beaded necklaces, chokers, bracelets and ankle bracelets will be avail for sale at her concerts. You’ll find something special for that lady of any age in your life.  Anita also has her wonderful music CDs

DSCN2164Ministering to the elderly

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SUPPORT, Anita’s ministry by buying her beautiful hand-beaded jewelry universal rehab gig long branch nj 2010Performing for the wheelchair population UNIVERSAL REHABILITATION, Livingston, NJ

hospital vistation

Pee-Wee loves to minister!

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THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION 101


Apologizing the right way makes all the difference in a friendship. - JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images
Teaching Sunday August, 2016

As no time before in these turbulent and uncertain times has there ever been such an urgent need for productive and Godly communication…that discourse which builds bridges of courage (to weather the impending global events and prophecies) and hope, (that those who put all their trust in Jehovah and Yashuah Jesus. shall abide in safety and provision).

Communication blares everywhere, like a neon  light in the night, begging to be noticed.  New reporters and journalists vie for our attention and we are bombarded with reports via internet broadcasting, newspapers and word of mouth. The Bible says that knowledge will increase and indeed, information on just about everything can be taken from GOOGLE. Dan 12:4 4″But as for you, Daniel, conceal these words and seal up the book until the end of time; many will go back and forth, and knowledge will increase.”
One thing is sadly true, though, despite all the massive amount of information, mankind has not became smarter, but more hard-heated and arrogant.

The Bible has much to say about our words, (and even the intents of what we would say, but don’t). Jesus was not gentle when he confronted the hypocritical Pharisees. He blasted them and rightly so. Here is a case where He was angry, but He sinned not. Matthew 12:34N 34 Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. By the way there is a right time and righteous reason to be angry as long as you do not condemn or intend harm.

 

Those who are most fruitful in his/her Love walk and who greatly builds up the kingdom of God are those who are patient listeners, not just with their ears…but with their hearts. And they are longing for reconciliation

Ja. 1:19 19My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, Leading worshipslow to speak, and slow to anger, 20for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.…

If Jehovah, the Creator of the Universe can beckon Isaiah to come and talk with him, why should not every one of us eagerly seek to talk, reason and be reconciled in peace with our brother or sister. There is a deep anchor of pride within us that craves the  possibility that our option or perspective is more valuable than our brethren s. This is called being arrogant or puffed up in our own wisdom. I’ve seen discord, misunderstanding and severed friendships  so often and by all kinds of people.  Some beautiful and long-time friendships ended because of pride and the refusal to listen with an open heart.

Can we just find a nice cafe or order a pizza and sit down at the table with the desire to be reconciled again? Well, it’s not going to  happen if one or both of us refuse to be humble, listen and discuss issues of difference. Stories abound where congregations divided because of sharp disagreement with their pastors. Very sad and how Father yearns that His children live together in peace. Peace and reconciliation are the things most needed in Father’s house.

As a communicator, I am passionate to see marriages, families, neighborhood, cities and nations resolve their differences thru telling the truth in love. This seems to be an impossibility in light of the nature of  people caught up in their own small whirlwind world.   We can visit YouTube any day and see countless examples of angry, seething crowds and groups at enmity with each other. Even brother and sisters in Christ  disagree about  Donald Trump and the candidates. And debates prevail regarding everything from the refugees, our borders, Christian genocide and Transgenderism.

How do we navigate the vicious maze of heated debate in a matter which would be gracious and illuminating? We American Christian are indeed facing the most challenging time in history and the lack of truth, righteous conversation, strategy and prayer are the missing ingredients to tackling the job at hand..making sense of. life and our nation’s future. The good new is…With God all things are possible, even the healing of our nation.

I’ve heard two prominent pastors confirm the need for wise strategy, and and intercessory prayer in the context of a reasonable round-table discussion. The barriers to solutions of our great problems are differences in perspective, religious backgrounds and ethnicity. .

In studying more in depth Spiritual warfare, I learned  that lack of truthful communication lends itself to resistant strongholds of the mind.

One of the most spiritually reputable Pastors whom I highly respect, the late Pastor Derrik Prince, discussed in detail three areas where there was a barrier to godly communication. In chapter thirteen of his book Pulling Down Strongholds, Pastor Derrick discusses areas which block freedom of righteous thinking. These three areas he calls modern high places, are

  1. The basis of nationality

Yashuah Jesus there is no nationality or gender. There is no Greek or Jew, Master nor slave, Male nor female. We are all equal, yet there are still denominations or sects which believe females are not allowed to preach or teach or have any area of leadership.

2. The Basis of a particular  Doctrine

Many people who are devout Catholic refuse to even consider the concept of being born-again or the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and   idolize Mary and the saints. Some Christian sect want nothing to do with anything related to prophecy or even  the existence of demons.

3. The Basis of Loyalty to a specific Leader

Some people will listen only to pastors or teachers whose doctrine they follow.  Their minds are completely abhorrent to even listen to others  anointed teachers who preach the correct doctrine.

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. We must continue to declare with our mouths,  God’s word and truth when we hear it preached.not just our hearts God’s truth

King David lived by his Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

May we be like David who pleaded with God  May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering. 3Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. 4Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, To practice deeds of wickedness With men who do iniquity; And do not let me eat of their delicacies.…

Oh,  my we  be ever careful that our words do not decree a curse or block a blessings from anyone. And may our goal be to  refine the way we respond to someone who hasa differing opinion. We would be very wise to watch the company we keep, because God has called us tp peace and harmony. The NIV version of proverbs 22:24 says,

..Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered,

 

 

 

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I WILL NOT LAY DOWN


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Ministering to elderly and sick nursing homes residents with Pee-Wee.

Note to Readers: My journaling of my battle with Dystonia-TMJ is to bring awareness to friends l loved ones in the hopes of giving more help, compassion and understanding to our deficiencies. I also hope doctors and medical personnel can understand the various areas of our lives that are restricted  and inhibit by inability to administer to our former duties, responsibilities and personal creative endeavors.  These journal entries and (medical personnel involved) . Our symptoms may even affect our judgement and/or mental-emotional prowess before we  had our condition. The utmost patience and compassion is needed for us to be contributors to our father’s kingdom. May our prayers, not just  for Dystonia, Alzheimer, Dementia ( or any other victim of a health disorder,)  not just be for our immediate healing, (so we don’t have to be inconvenienced) but to teach us patience and forbearance.

Journal Entry,  July 5, 2016

Just woke up to another overcast day, promising more rain. I don’t complain because many states are in a water crisis. My vegetable garden is flourishing, but the barometer and humidity has wrecked havoc with my jaw joints. When atmospheric pressure changes,  my neck muscles, nerves and jaws go berserk, making it almost impossible to accomplish any thing with merit. It’s going on two weeks trying to get together two of my best story to send to Guidepost inspirational magazine. I’m also waiting to get motivated to send m art package to a greeting card company here in Paterson, NJ.

Each day is different in this season of TMJ Dystonia in regards to what I’m able to accomplish, but it’s always the same regarding my determination to receive my miracle manifestation of healing. God has still not answered my question regarding what purpose this tormenting condition persists.  At times my flesh reminds me that it’s going on nine years and if God had a great plan for me, how could He be so cruel to allow it to linger and so curtail my vivaciousness and productivity. I remind myself that Abba is a good God and everything He gives is wonderful and needful to His children. One thing I know for sure ..that His ways are perfect and He does know how much I’m suffering. Satan’s plan is always to ambush our minds and barrage us with a continual spray of doubting questions, physical pain and our focus of it.

At times when I have a moment of peace, such as when I’m pulling acorn seedlings in my yard, I feel His gentle presence. Oddly, my muscles rest and my jaw is calm. My jaw and throat also seem to get calmer while I’m focusing on my fine bead work. But mostly, I’m groaning in agony as I press forward, (much like pushing through a tropical impenetrable forest),  through each hour to make it to bedtime. Here is where I rely on Father’s strength each day for sanity! When the neck spasms get so bad that I fall on the floor and writhe in pain, I can’t bare to be alive. Here is where I have to take captive that demonic spirit of suicide, death and insanity. I can’t explain to anyone except someone enduring daily pain on a scale of 8 or nine every waking moment of their lives.

After these many years, I deal with  the grief of losing a good chunk of my life. A dark season of nine years is a lot. I know brother Joseph, in the Bible, had to bear thirteen years of incarceration, but having a agonizing and distracting bodily condition is a whole new ball game. The most painful thing for me is deducing my relationship with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. I’ve always believed that valid and thriving  relationship with the Lord had to be true and breath-takingly reverent. My prayer times are anything but reverential  There’s a whole lot of shaking and  jerking going on, hardly my idea of anything pleasing to God!  My focused prayer and devotions to Him are at best , sporadic. (I’m just being transparent with you). I often go in to prayer expecting  the outcome to be detached and superficial because  mostly… I weep through the whole time! Whew. Imagine struggling through your talking to father God?

“Father forgive me for being this way.”

Maybe tomorrow, I will have no more spasms and I can joyfully never and praise him. This is the uncharted waters that the Bible doesn’t address, so I have to contend with disgust of my inability to give Father my best and to even give Him His proper due.

The other devastating thing i that doctors I’ve seen have no idea where to even start for a treatment program. They look at me in surprise and apologize that there is nothing they can do. I’ve been researching and GOOGLING for over six years and have  found only a few doctors who specifically treated Dystonia of the mouth and.or upper cervical area. A girl freind  messaged me a few weeks ago telling me she also was researching my condition and found a  Dr LEE, who has a private practice   in South Korea. Many of his  Dystonia and TMJ patients were getting successful results with his treatments!  I also found a doctor  in  DE who treated TMJ. Unfortunately, they are very few and far in between in NJ and to travel to other states like the doctor in Teaas would be very costly and inconvenient for my husband to take off work. I continue to ask and pray whether father wants me to wait for His divine supernatural creative miracle for my jaw or travel to a  TMJ physician. Father be merciful to us who are suffering.

Dr Lee’s practice and You-Tube link.

July 4th was spent praying for a breakthrough rest with my jaw and neck spasms. The day was already almost half over and I needed to express my love for my Heavenly Father. it was so frustrating, picking up my Taylor and just jerking so wildly, I had to lay down. Uselessness and despair threatened to ruin my day, but finally picked up my guitar anyway and started to sing my favorite energetic hymns, like Onward Christian Soldiers.  Anyway, I am more than a conqueror!

Fast forward today, brought my Bible, a Max Lucado devotional and Jewel’s book, Chasing The Dawn into the bedroom. I prayed that something would awaken my heart and I’d be able to move forward into my day. My eyes fell upon the subtitle of Jewel’s book, Melbourne, Australia. I’ve always dreamed of Australia even as a young girl. Down Under seemed a glorious utopia far away from the chaos and heartache of my present circumstance of my parents plan to divorce. I often dreamed in my bed at night that I would somehow end up there and live a peaceful and creative life!

So Jewel expressed the sensations of her entering the stage to perform her repertoire to her Australian fans. Her writing was so elegant and enticing, making me miss my own performing and composing tenure. I felt a profound sense of loss that I was so far and disconnected to that glorious season of my life. Words cannot describe a performance were the performer “feels” her audience and they feel her. It is an indescribable connection that infuses the artists expression of singing-performing (and doctors have no idea the profound effects that a neurological disorder as Dystonia-TMJ can have on the creativity of a talented singer-composer. This has been a major grief, few realize  the extent of loss when a performing artist is unable to perform (and compose)  at the high level she was used to. I feel less than human and disconnected that this condition has so disrupted the  beautiful overflow of expressing my music-soul.

When I perform before an audience, it’s like I gently fall off a trapeze like a leaf  I lose all sense of the present, of time and the faces that gaze at me.  Father placed me in a I  a divine bubble and I’m floating in His love. Everything around me fades into nothingness and all I’m aware of is the holiness  (and lightness0 of His presence. This has happened several times. Twice, when I sang at dying persons’ deathbed and at a funeral service, where a seer told my husband she saw cherubim dancing joyously around me as I sang my Psalm 91 original. Another recent time, was just last month while singing two of my favorite Hymns His Eye is on the Sparrow and It Is Well at a church concert. . Despite the fact I was miserable and my neck was inflamed with pain and my mouth was  moving violently, I grabbed Father’s hand and took His strength. No one could have been more surprised than me, when everyone stood up and joined me on the heart-rending chorus, It is Well With My Soul. I knew it was God and God alone who carried me through the song.

10-17-2012-205THE VOICE of an ANGEL

A girl, her voice and Guitar, Proclaiming the Love of Christ!

This dark season I’m immersed in is complicated, daunting and bizarre with its untold repercussions. I can’t bare to be seen in public because of the embarrassing facial grimaces and my arms and upper shoulder jerking. Even standing in line at the post office for fifteen minutes is main achievement. With these negative symptoms molding me into something no one would want to be, I’ve learned to make some adjustments. I’ve long discarded the activity of complaining and have made a lovely habit of making someone’s day a little better. If I’m at the grocery store I find something attractive about the person near me and compliment them. I so delights me to see them smile and to make their day by a compliment. The practice of being a blessing to someone is a high point of my day. I refuse to give the enemy any ground or make him think that his attacks on me will sully God’s wonderful destiny for me. I want to please my Father by serving and being a blessing no matter how hard it is! I feel sad for mean people because I know that they’ve not practiced and seen the results of kindness in spite of their physical misery, stressful relationship or mundane life. Persistent acts of kindness and serving cheerfully is evidence of a God-infused lifestyle.
All this being said, I’m reminded of President Abraham Lincoln, One of the greatest presidents who ever lived, who endured and succeeded despite countless failures and  disappointments, shut doors and heart-aches. Amazingly, he grabbed the bull by the horn  in all his tenacity and audacity…his faith in God almighty.  He prevailed, head held high even during one of America’s most horrific times, the Civil War. Though I’m not faced with anarchy, riots and the threat of assassination, I still am facing a mountain which shall be moved by my obstinate faith in the God who restores and rewards all things.

http://www.school-for-champions.com/history/lincoln_failures.htm#.V3v21hJ4K1s

Weathering Dystonia,  (as president Lincoln faced his own giants) I know that God must have a very important job for me to do in the future and He is preparing and training me for such a time as this. Thankfully, July 5, 20016, we are still in peace here in America and life is somewhat normal. I recently watched a Christian outreach organization,  Ezra International outreach who focused their relief efforts on the refugees from cities near Ukraine. Soldiers had all but demolishes the businesses, neighborhoods and banks by bombs and machine gun fire. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I gazed at the footage of such devastation. Thousands were killed, there were bodies in the streets and many holocaust survivors were starving and left on their own. America could soon be enduring the same fate and I prayed that God would be merciful to the sick, elderly and young ones. Any of us American citizens could suddenly face the terrible war atrocities as our brethren in war-torn Ukraine and any other middle eastern city!

So… it would behoove me…and everyone to thank God that our country is still somewhat intact and not facing the atrocities and hardships of war and judgment.  Maybe for a short time, we are still the land of the free and though my own personal suffering is challenging, t’s nowhere near the suffering of people who’ve had their homes destroyed by bombs and have no where to go to get their next meal.

Dystonia reminds me of the need to be more compassionate, empathetic and giving of my resources to those who have less. Though I’d never wish anyone to endure a condition that robs and diminishes so much of our lives, the blessing in disguise is the  awareness and empathy of others sufferings and the motivation to do something about it!

Perhaps that is the gift Father looks to glean when we face a loss or bodily suffering. May father use you and I greatly to strengthen someone who has a deformity, impediment of disability

About Daughters


Pre adolecent and adolescent can be fragile  beings, driving their parents and especially fathers almost to the nuthouse. I’m a grown woman now and have weathered many family  tragedies, (including the latest, the death of my beloved Papito and my mother’s sudden plummet into Dementia…all within three months).

Today, I was very fragile and distressed, thinking about how the lack of listening with the heart has led many marriages and families to fragment. I cried out to Father for strength to make sense of the relationships in my life and realized I hadn’t read a wonderful letter from Pastor Jeff Lane, from CTN’s  call in prayer network America’s Prayer Meeting from 12;30 to 3:30 am. One sentience leaped out at me. ” My freind, you have been hurt, mistreated and unfairly judged.”  A torrent of tears burst from my eyes. Pastor Jeff’s letter continued. Blessed are the pure in heart.. in other words, blessed are those whose hearts have been cleansed from the bitterness of the world.

My issue has been being greatly wounded and traumatized by those closest to me or those who are supposed to be  my inner circle. When these are emotionally close-hearted or refused to listen and understand my weakness or person, it can be an area like  an unhealed sore. So Pastor Jeff’s  words were spot on and I asked Father to continually bless and forgive my friends who have unfairly refused to hear me out.

I hadn’t expected to compose a blog today, but  Holy Spirit used this deep, inner hurt to issue to explore this necessity of allowing heart felt communication and understanding to flow, particularity between fathers and daughters. My thoughts went back to challenging times in my father’s life where he didn’t have the support of my mother. He always turned to me, ( as his firstborn daughter). Deep down, he’d wanted his firstborn to be a son and so he never allowed my female gender to stop him from teaching me “male” attributives of leadership, discipline, resourcefulness and high education. I graciously respected and received his  guidance and all, except his insistence that we not express our frailties and emotions.

Having taken many years to heal from Papito’s demand that we never cry, all of my sisters and I paid a heavy price and the results were damaging and devastating in many ways, particularity our serious health issues. As I continue to ask Holy Spirit for the grace and healing, wisdom in understanding the psyche, (in this case, the female adolescent psyche) I hope fathers, (and mothers)  humble themselves in asking  Holy Spirit how to raise confident, androgynous, aspiring  and relaxed young women.

I’m no expert on raising great families or on having the ideal marriage, but I can definitely share what  will weaken or destroy the fiber of a marriage or family.

I’m still sorting out my feelings about my beloved father, Papito Teofilo Ferrer Cepeda, (daddy wore the name of both his mother and father proudly). His mother was a spiritually, disciplined and fiery half Latino-half  Indian who was no-nonsense, educated and taught her children well regarding self-sufficiency and excellence. When her husband, (my grandfather, Valentine) contracted a serious lung ailment, she took on the responsibility of raising nine children on her own and running her farm!

Last year, when I received a phone call from my younger,  physically-challenged sister that we needed to visit daddy in the hospital, I was shocked that yet again, there was a possibility of losing my beloved mentor. As the elevator doors opened to reveal that Mark and I were on the oncology ward of the hospital, my  heart skipped a beat. My mouth dropped open as I saw a skeletal Papito half-covered in his bed. His voice was barely audible as I took my guitar from out of its case to sing his favorite Spanish ballad, Eres Tu. I sang Amazing Grace and then my youngest sister Margarita, entered the room,  holding on to her beaus arm. Like me, she battled a neurological disorder. Hers was MS, (Multiple Sclerosis).  It was surreal, as I asked Mark to pray with my father so I could ask the nurses what was going on with him. A lovely young nurse raved about how charming and non-complaining my father was. She had never seen anyone suffering from such painful throat cancer as Teo! I started to weep, wondering what emotional ghost had brought him to this point. Even now as I write this blog, my prayer is that spouses and families will not make the same mistakes as mine.

Papito’s second wife, my step-mother was not present during my sister and my visit. I couldn’t make sense of the fact that he was in a hospital,  a three-hour driving trip away. I would have preferred for him to have hospice care near all of us girls. I played my father’s two favorite songs at his funeral and though most were moved by my testimony of my relationship with him, I was left with unrequited sorrow and no explanation of why he died the way he did.

Having learned so much the past two decades regarding the relationship between unresolved grief, bitterness and resentment precipitating cancer and other  traumatic conditions, I deduce that spouses and families must allow each other to freely express themselves! When people are faced with a traumatic episode, the shock and grief is assuaged by empathetic and non-judgmental listening  and comforting.I believe most  cases of domestic violence, child abuse and even dysfunctional-strained relationships are  caused by the person not being listened to and understood.

In my father’s case, I beloved he died of a broken heart. My mother was staunchly unsupportive of my father’s dreams and endeavors and my step-mother  had a very strong personality. Daddy preferred to keep the peace because he had developed such a fragile situation with his blood pressure over the years. Any conflict or argument would have sent him to the hospital. So, my father kept his disagreements to himself during his second marriage. I’m sure, his sorrow about his failings as a father during his and mom’s divorce and the inability to  protect his adolescent daughters was an unhealed wound.  I reckon that at least  he may have fondly remembered his dependence on us when all four of us girls helped him renovate the old, dilapidated farm  house on Shafto Road.

Honestly, that wasn’t a memorable time for me as I was suddenly transferred from a wonderful catholic school where I thrived, to a public school where I became the outcast and was bullied daily. I was not allowed to speak about my terror of the three bully girls who made me feel like dirt. I endured many painful things duirng my high school years. My sisters and I did not have the freedom to express any negative things that troubled us and thus we learned to shut up and stuff it. Anyway, what kid has the  permission to voice how miserable they are with a strong or domineering father obsessed by his dream? Many families (and many marriages) today are fragmented and dysfunctional because of lack of honesty and empathy.

Looking back, I want to bravely share my thoughts on reading a diary as a fifteen year old. My love and devotion for my father since being born-again in 1982 has always been endearing and I was shocked to read the many  turbulent and devastated emotions detailed in my journal entries.Two events in particular caused me to be ostracized for the rest of high school.My parents refused to buy me a razor to shave my legs. I was nick-named bear legs by the boys. My father also refused me to wear any blue jeans because he deduced them to be anti-establishment! So I had to wear my corny Catholic school, pleated knee length skirt and loafer shoes. My parents also never came to my defense when a large bully girl accosted me daily because I was of mixed heritage. It took decades for me to shed the skin of being unworthy and insufficient.

All this being shared, I long to see children and adolescents  soaring into their  divine destiny, their parents being well-equipped to empathetically nurture, (and appropriately discipline when needed) their kids. Children do not belong to parents. Parents are temporary stewards of God’s little people, who he is seeking to one day bless their destiny!

If my father were still alive today and asked me to honestly tell him what he could have changed about the way he raised me, this is the letter I would write to him as a grown and healing woman of God:

Dear Daddy!

Words cannot express the gratitude I have for the great things you’ve taught me. Thank you for the special times  I had with you as you taught me all about sign-painting and making silk screen templates for your job. Though I was skinny and had awful hay fever allergies and hating you taking Leslie and I to doctor Pfum to get twelve allergy shots twice a year in my arm, I was able to help you dig holes for the sign posts  Thank you for insisting that I not run the streets after boys because they would get me pregnant. Thank you for playing those amazing Spanish Flamenco albums. My love for all kinds of great music contributed to me being the eclectic and innovative composer I am today.

As a grown woman, I have truly appreciate all of who you are. You are such a charming, highly intelligent and gifted man. Thank you that even while you worked full time as a graphic designer for the US government, you earned your bachelors degree in political science so you could earn a better living for mommy and us girls!

My few regrets about our relationship was that you never allowed me to cry, to complain if I were exhausted. I would have loved for you to take seriously my greif and  shame at being half Puerto-Rican and half German, ( a weirdo and not accepted  as equal by the other kids). I also wished you had appreciated  and supported my talent in sewing, fashion design and creative writing and not say they are useless! Also, please respect that I have my own mind, I am a free spirit, (non-conformist) and  not interested in doing anything rebellious of crazy!  I know you have plans for me, but allow me to make my own choices:)  The  most painful rejection from you was when the two times I needed you most, you reneged.

When I was a boarder in the house of that alcoholic man and his blind wife and he tried to kick down my door and rape me. You said, “Be strong, honey, do the best you can.” You have no idea how that devastated me. And then when my fiance was emotionally stalking and traumatizing me and threatened me with death if I didn’t marry him. You wearily said to me,  “I’m sorry, honey. I can’t help you. I’m a sick man.”

I love you and forgive you and my Heavenly father has made right all the wrongs. I ask you to forgive me for anything I’ve hurt you with and please forgive yourself. Abba God has forgiven you, Papito.

Fathers (and mothers)..Healing and reconciliation comes from  looking deep inside yourself and remembering what you said, how you responded to your daughters cries, complaints and questions! Daughters are very complex and fragile beings, (with all these chemicals and hormonal changes). Please fathers, do your intense research early, before your little girl starts to show her womanhood. Old as I am, i am still my Papito’s little girl. I yearn every day for his hug and his “I love You, Anita.” Every day. I curse that demonic man-made tradition  men don’t cry or don’t your emotions! Pride is a killer and it’s terribly wounded and destroyed many relationships with their children. Thank you for allowing me to share about my relationship with my dear father and may you learn from his and my mistakes and help heal your relationship with your princess today!

Heavenly father, thank you for your unmerited and abundant wisdom which we have avail…if we humbly ask. Let there be healing in the fathers and daughters who read this testimony. Lord, help father to build bridges of compassion, tenderness and wisdom as they raise up, confident, trusting and joyous daughters. It’s not shameful for dads to make mistakes, but the three words, “I am Sorry” heals a multitudes of bitterness, resentment, shame and unforgiveness strongholds which could take decades to uproot in our daughters. From this day forward, Father, help us daughters to also appreciate our fathers and honor them so that our lives are long and prosperous. In Jesus name, amen

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