MOVING FORWARD


Marchin forward

MOVING FORWARD From Offenses and Woundings

For many of us, conflict and strife are two of the most difficult areas to address. The inability to confidently address criticism and conflict  stifles our ability to soar upward into our divine fullness. The book of Proverbs is chock full of warnings to be cautious in our communication. Being slow to speak and waiting for divine wisdom for understanding has been challenging for me. I grew up in a family atmosphere of intense conflict between my German mother and Puerto-Rican father, whose relationship started to weaken when my father took on great responsibilities as the vice president of the Spanish Fraternity. His time and financial investments to the Spanish Community were straining our family and mom and dad argued constantly. I was very sensitive as a young girl and my parents arguing was very distressing for me. I also had to endure my mother’s temper tantrums where she regularly overturned the furniture, tore apart everything in my two younger sisters’ rooms and gave them beatings. This abusive environment of fear and anger became of stronghold in me. I was terrified of angry, mean people. At the first sign of a negative body language or facial expression, my stomach would turn and I became nauseous. I must admit,  my communication  style was challenged because of my nervousness in the presence of angry people.  This stronghold intensified during my first marriage where I endured domestic violence.  My fear to express disatisfaction or  uphold my boundaries  was firmly established. and my husband’s rage when I stated my opiinion caused me to keep m mouth shut because I didn’t want to be attacked.

We’ve all suffered rejection, abandonment and/or abuse and the extent of our spiritual growth-healing depends on our willingness to allow Christ to heal the deeply-embedded, negative strongholds of our mind and soul. In my life as a creative person,  (many artists, musicians and people in creative fields) feel a need to escape the sordid aspects of reality. Non creative people can also seek refuge in certain comforts such as sports, drugs, alcohol, shopping, food addictions and pornography. This is natural for us to feel safe from excruciating mental anguish or a sexual trauma such as molestation or rape. Those of us from extremely abusive backgrounds believe that the only way to cope with our painful past is to find refuge in the beauty and wonder of our creative endeavors and projects. Success in our careers and creativity is a good thing, but staying stuck in the plateau of woundedness and the trauma is not.

For me it has been a very long and painful road to spiritual freedom and joy because there were few intuitive and anointed pastors and/or deliverance counselors who could help me accurately identify negative strongholds. Even less to find are those who willingly guide a wounded individual to Christ’s wholeness. With the kingdom of hell becoming more aggressive than ever before, (satan knows his time is very short). God’s people are getting a triple dose of attacks in every area of life. It’s rare for any child of God not to be suffering some attack. Strife and division seems to be the main area satan has been using to create division and weakness in the body of Christ. The way around this is continual time in God’s presence, repentance and being accountable to elders.

The law of Love

1 Cor. 13 4-8 is really the formula which builds and strengthens the body, but often harder than it seems. Agape love allows no pride and convicts us when refuse to be wrong. We say, “Why should I acquiesce to him/her?” The spirit of offense is strong and often uses the element of surprise. You’re caught off guard when he strikes and you’re trembling in anger. Offense must be taken captive by Christ’s authority.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

A fellow intercessor sister and I were praying about how to address various weak areas our brthren needed to address. I told her how disappointed II was about several incidents which occurred with very dear and mature prophetic Christian sisters in my circle. Each incident involved a disagreement where both parties responded in quick anger. There was no resolution and the two decided not to bother with each other again. This breaking of relationship and avoiding each other disturbs me and disturbs the delicate atmosphere of unity in God’s family. We may glibly disregard our decision to break relationship with a brother or sister, but that small offense breaches the circle of love. We may not immediately feel or see the sting of offense-rejection, but it’s seed  takes root nonetheless and it opens the door to other demonic strongholds.

Pastor Derrik Prince teaches how just one rejection can swing open a door allowing other demonic stronghold to take root. This is why repentance is so necessary. When we are unified in love, we operate in great power and achieve God’s greatest miracles, healing and deliverance. When we have disagreements so sharp that we cut off the relationship and go on our merry way, we lose the opportunity to grow in the area of resolving conflict. We are as iron sharpening iron and Father is pleased when we conquer that pride spirit and seek reconciliation and resolution. With God all things are possible and when we come together in prayer, with the intention of resolving and unifying, we will be building bridges and healing wounded or misunderstood hearts.

Let us never forget that satan is cunning and has studied mankind for eons. He knows exactly how to s get a toehold in even the most well-intentioned. Conquering offense can often be difficult for people raised in angry, alcoholic and dysfunctional backgrounds. They often have deep-rooted strongholds of unworthiness and inferiority. Their mothers may have scorned, “You’re no good” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” If these declarations are not renounced and broken off, those voices will continue to harass and maim. The child will grow up to be an adult who is fearful of constructive criticism of any kind. When questioned, they respond immediately with raised dukes to fend imagined, crippling blows to their fragile self-worth. Those voices taunt incessantly, threatening their marriage and/or family. These negative accusing voices come from the pits of hell.  Strongholds of rejection and unworthiness can only be banished by daily meditating and declaring God’s truth about His precious children  who are created to do good works!

Learn to address feelings of shame, anxiety and/or unworthiness with God’s word. For those of us who have been raised in abuse and unhealthy homes, we must make wholeness and God’s word a priority. Healing from unhealthy influences may need help from strong, positive mentors. Learn not to be ashamed and defensive when questioned or criticized. Learn to recognize pride when he it rises up. Pride separates, but love unites. Don’t let pride bar us from admitting we don’t have all the answers or we made a mistake. Be sensitive to Holy  Spirit’s nudge when ou quickly  respondi inappropriately, angrilly or with unwaranted suspicion. Give people the benefit of the doubt that they are not always out to get you.

Repentance (humility) are not dirty words and we should never be ashamed to get on our faces, cry out in deep humility and ask Father to reveal our shortcomings. Repentance is cleansing and we grow in His grace when we are transparent. In one of my group prayer battalions, we start out our conference call with confessing our sins and weaknesses to each other.  This was a new thing to me, but found after a few weeks, how it draew my sisters and I closer together and made us more compassionate and prayerful for each other!

Repentance should be as natural as doing a detox or fast for our physical bodies. When we cleanse our body through daily repenting, we do not hinder the flow of Holy Spirit or block Him from blessing us with His conviction and gracious deliverance! My prayer for the body of Christ, is that we work on being transparent and honest with each other. Sin and iniquities root and flourish when we keep our sins and weaknesses hidden. The Bible says we are to confess our sins and weaknesses with each other daily.  All too often,  I see and hear about episodes where our Christian brethren display rage and  are vindictive on Facebook and other public forums. This is a very poor witness to non-believers and grieves our heavenly Father. Especially damaging is strife and division about political issues and gossip. A wise, gracious person would have nothing to do with strife because it weakens the bond of fellowship. We need to share our views respectfully and if the disagreement is too intense, then we must agree to disagree and avoid the subject for the sake of peace.

Brothers and sisters, we need to get it together because we are in the end of the end times and time is short. The eternal destinies of millions are at the precipice of decision and our demeanor must be Christ-alluring, a fragrance in the stench of pride and worldliness. When we are dedicated to unity in our King Jesus, satan cannot get a toehold. Pride in us is insidious and let us remember that it sneaks up even in the best of us. Let us not be afraid to be wrong or uniformed and let us ask God for HIs divine wisdom!

THE FELLOWSHIP OF SUFFERING


DSCN3556 John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Journal Entry, March3, 2017

My quest to find answers to the tormenting mystery of the JAW-mouth Dystonia continues. Each hour, I continue to rely heavily on Father giving me the strength to endure, uncomplainingly. My seasonal job, delivering telephone books door-to-door, started last week and my body is weary. from the windy-cold and the physical exertion.  Unlike  several years ago, when I bitterly complained to Father that I should be on tour with my incredible band. I told him, how hard it was to have do such humbling work when He had blessed me with such talent. And then the added grief of being misunderstood, alienated from wonderful fellowship and dealing with a tormentically distracting movement disorder was more than any human to bear. Even now, the pain in my (now also)  left jaw is painful and  I can barely stand to do anything. The past nine years of this  horrendous disorder (and the thought that there is no reversal for the damaged joints should cause me to sink into utter depression). Honestly, it has been lonely beyond belief and at times, I deem my small music-compassionate outreach, Brave Flame Productions-Outreach a thankless job, (at times). I am a very social person and  cherish the camaraderie of friends and loved ones being emotionally and spiritually connected with me.

Nevertheless, I realize that this ongoing suffering has brought about great change in my spiritual outlook and Father’s glorious workmanship in my life. This realization had brought me to create my 5 part-series journalism-color photographs and devotional series, ARISE FROM YOUR GRAVE. It has also compelled me to record and produce songs for two concurrent albums, a prophetic rock , Mod Prophet and a worship album, The Anointing, (His presence). One would expect that the result would be a publishing book deal and distribution or at least interest in the recorded works.  My book series still await  publication and my albums are still incomplete.

I wait upon the Lord, for He will renew my strength. What strength? For any passionately creative person in the midst of projects, there’s always the hope of success and renown. For the child of God, renown would be being sought after for the expertise of the skill. There is dealing with the disappointment of struggling financially and/or having few customers-patrons. So, I tell Father, more than anything… I wish to be in His perfect will.

This prayer brought me to place and realization of the precious treasure of His presence and company. In this quiet place of seeking Him above even success in my creative endeavors, He shows me what he truly values as spiritual wealth and abundance.

Each morning, as I arise to consciousness, I’ve disciplined my spirit to mediate on several verses. I have had to train myself because the left jaw is so violently  spastic that I awoke several times during the night in great pain. I didn’t want to succumb to anger or bitterness as I had with my past Lyme Disease battle in 1992.

Psalm 19:14

14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Once awake, I ask Holy Spirit to order my steps and  focus me on what scripture He wants me to meditate on.  During the next hour, He will show me someone who needs a prayerful phone call, a hand-made card or care package. Yesterday, a Christian sister’s name popped into my spirit. I said, “Okay Abba, I will call Jackie, (not her real name)”

sisters-comforting

When .I called Jackie, she replied, “That is amazing, Anita. I was thinking of you just yesterday and i was going to call you.” She asked me how I was doing with my jaw-mouth situation and I immediately gave her details of how I thought I was stopping my own healing. I slipped more often than I’d liked, saying  things like, day , “I can’t do that because of this disabling TMJ-Dystionia.” Lately, I was at least catching myself in mid sentence and repenting and saying, I am healed.” Jackie  admitted she was also speaking sickness over herself., her lungs and poor breathing. Jackie’s lungs had deteriorated so bad in the past year that she was on oxygen all day! I was thankful, that though my jaw-throat situation was very painful and distracting, at least I could drive and walk around freely. Jackie then confessed that during her seeking prayer to God about her suffering, she had deep, unresolved grief about her childhood and past.

I was astounded hen she mentioned her deep grief because i  was presently getting victory over my own many losses by reading a wonderful deliverance book, Pray Through It  by Rob Morrisette. The author was very detailed about the traumas and strongholds of his counselees and I was getting freer and freer reading about the victorious testimonies of the people.  Rob’s counseling manner was very detailed and he stressed bringing every painful incident to God in prayer and asking for healing. Jackie was very excited and wrote down the name of the book. I also shared with her about my joy of participating on the conference telephone line several hours each day with passionate prayer warriors across our nation. I told her how strengthened I was in their company and the powerful anointing of their prayers. She admitted to feeling judged around other brethren  and I felt she was constrained by a spirit of unworthiness. Jackie also took down the conference prayer call number and I prayed with her.

At the end of our discourse, Jackie was in tears and prayed for me. She thanked God for me being obedient God had put me on her heart the day before, but she didn’t call and was grateful that I was spiritually sensitive. I was deeply humbled and broken that Father was so gracious to even use me in such a way..to build up and strengthen my precious sister who  said she felt she was backslidden!

This call was a confirmation that I was  right where Father wanted me to be, sitting in his love and waiting for direction. My direction happens to be the gift of edifying, building up my brothers and sisters who feel broken  weak and unworthy.  Father is not so concerned about my creative endeavors, (however God-inspired they are) but about developing intuitiveness to the needs and brokenness of my brethren. In order to have sensitivity to ascertain that my brother and sister needs tenderness, encouragement or a tangible need, (such as rent money or groceries), I need to stay deeply connected and deeply compassionate, however rough or irresponsible they may seem. I’ve desperately longed for patience, long-suffering and understanding about my weird  movement (with loud voice) disorder and have often been judged harshly and misunderstood. But Father has used these painful times so I can learn long-suffering and kindness.  Separating myself unto Him and worshiping with a thankful heart has borough me to precious places of surrender, where I can give out of a pure heart. Though my physical reserves, (my energy) seem limited, my capacity to  love has so increased. Father is nurturing my capacity to love deeper than a surface level. If I encounter relationships were a brethren seems difficult, a nuisance or unpleasant to be around, I ask Father to remind me that there may be deeply-rooted generational issues or traumas from childhood and up.

The Pray It Through, book  has been eye-opening resource to delve deeply into the hearts of my brothers and sisters and where Father can groom me to love, not just in word and deed, but true empathy! I believe this is what causes strife and rejection in the body. We say we love  (and pray for) our brother or sister from afar, yet we will not come forth in honesty and reason at the table with them and our Heavenly Father.

I pray that my brothers and sisters take a deeper look at their season of suffering and submit it to our Abba. He will show us how he is breaking down ideologies of tradition, religion and even relationships, (as the secular arena perceives them). Our ways are not God’s ways and our thoughts are not His. He uses the weak, broken , ugly things, and even small, insignificant (according to the world’s standards) ministries.

He has made everything beautiful in His time. Ecc 3:11

When mega-churches and mega-ministries crumble at His glorious appearance because they did not minister to the orphans, widows and  foreigner, those ministries build on His compassion will thrive and be the lighthouse to the nations!

Let us remember that the temporary sufferings and lacks are not worthy to be compared with the glories which await us in heaven! be encouraged my brother and sister! God sees and he is pleased.

In the Waiting Room


 

Standing in Faith for Divine Restoration

I’m in the waiting room. It is the same room where Job wrestled with himself and God. This waiting room is a spiritual area where an afflicted and suffering child of God straddles , (and struggles with) the blurred line of complete faith and trepidatious pain.)

In the waiting room, I’m reading the book of cures for all conditions, despite the fact that I dread the fact that I may wake up to yet another day where this stabbing in my Jaw joint will relentless pummel me to the point of sobbing out loud for relief. I may not be scraping erupting boils off my skins with a sharp piece of pottery, but I am fighting thoughts of being in never-never land with my heavenly father, where there will be no more tears or suffering. What keeps me going is the truth that my Redeemer lives.

God has sent me off downhill on the front seat of a racing rail car in to uncharted territory. For those of us dealing with acute chronic pain without medication, I’ve spent years wracking my brain trying to pinpoint the source of my distress. I’ve also exhausted every option of treatment, to no avail and have also been through countless doctors who’ve treated me with every healing modality available.

I stand here, scratching my head, wondering what to do with myself. I follow Jesus with a devoted heart and know of a certainly that Father God is not the giver of this tormenting disease, but my enemy satan who has sent out one or several of his minions to torment me.

I’m pretty much exhausted and disgusted by all the years of driving to doctors and trying this and that with no relief. I wonder every day how other children of God deal with their excruciating pain. I’ve amassed a library of books on deliverance and getting myself free.

I’ve experienced and learned quite a bit since my other Dystonia blogs from several years ago. I hope this latest one will give a little more insight and a little more hope to the hopeless!

Prayer avails much and the more yo know about the specifics of your condition, the more confidently you can pray in full assurance that Yashuah, or healer shall heal or sickness! Always put prayer at the top of your list, asking Father for supernatural wisdom and whether you’ll need to be treated by a good doctor.

First off, here are a few links that yo may want to check into. My issue has been violent twitching of the neck, mouth, tongue and throat areas, particularity the Platysma muscles and Temporo Mandibular Jaw joint, TMJ. I have done all kinds of research to find a way to sooth the pain in that area.

Dystonia of the lower face cold be cased by Trigeminal Neuyraligia

http://neurosurgery.uthscsa.edu/display_patients.php?ps_id=61&pg

You may also want to pray and ask Father if your resistant Lyme or Dystonia could be linked to a spiritual root. My husband and I just finished a week-long stint of powerful teachings on the spiritual roots of Disease. Although I am very acquainted with the scriptures, I was very surprised to learn about how satan can afflict God’s people with disease and sickness through open doorways of sin or generational curses. Many pastors and denominations insist that once we accept Christ as our Savior it’s a done deal. But there are too many Christians who love Christ and are trying to live godly lives who are suffering greatly from the effects of things that happened during their childhood, in early adolescence and even in the womb! I would leave no stone upturned when it comes to walking in total healing and deliverance.

Doctor Henry Wright, founder of BE IN Health teaching ministries and author of his book, says much about sin being a cause of our stubborn and chronic sickness.

http://www.beinhealth.com/public/

Here are some excellent ministries who specialize in deliverance if you find your symptoms are not improving.

Robert Heldler
http://www.amazon.com/Set-Yourself-Free-Deliverance-Manual/dp/0979167809

Pastor Derek Prince

I also highly recommend detoxifying your body as best as you can. Since Lyme is also connected with mercury start today on a dedicated detoxifying regimen. You’ll still have to deal with pain or discomfort but the less toxins, bacteria and fungi you have the more energetic you’ll be.

Doctor sherry Rogers, book “DETOXIFY or DIE”

http://organicconnectmag.com/sherry-rogers-md-god-designed-the-body-to-heal/#.U0cKRlOwXrY

Above all, Dr Jesus is your chief physician, so pray, declare those scriptures and rejoice, even if you’re sobbing in agony! My life has been so complicated, as many of you also have. May we love each other and fervently pray for each other as Jesus commands us and share the secrets of healing and restoration with each other. The world truly knows we are Christian when we love and cherish each other.