PRAYER ALERT, January 8, 2016


 

URGENT  PRAYER  ALERT

I receive  this latest new alert from my husband this week and was aghast at the atrocious acts committed against my German sisters in Germany. The body of Christ MUST get AWOKEN out of their happy social reveries and address evils which are occurring around the globe. There are still only a handful of watchful FBers who constantly post global, political and social issues which  the body of Christ must address and strategically pray against.

I notice that some of my brothers and sister seem to disappear from time to time and others almost never respond to my posts. I make sure I avail myself to cover them in daily prayer nd minister  one and one whenever they need it, but when I need to alert them about an urgent issue, they are nowhere to be found!

My function is not to coddle my  Christian brothers and sisters, but God has  ordained me to help  disciple, edify them in their gifts and teach the the art of  successful spiritual warfare.   Our enlistment in the Lord’s army is not to enjoy our lives (although there are periods of rest) but to stomp out the strongholds of darkness and help set prisoners free. That was the purpose that Jesus Christ came and acquiesced to His Father’s will: to be humanity’s sacrificial lamb and kinsman-redeemer!

Are we forgetting this, people?

It’s obvious that most nations have fallen prey to the terrorists and millions have been hunted down down like animals, their homes and business taken and many butchered in the most barbaric ways. Have these images of our brethren;s murders haunted us yet, or will we start saying, “No more,” or “Stop this” in Jesus Name.

Reports like these will continue and worsen unless the body of Christ takes her place as the salt & light of the world!! This was Jesus, not my, mandate.  Let us not think that because this happened across the seas, that we American women and girls are exempt from Sharia Law and human-rights violations such as the above  mentioned report.  Mosques are increasing here in United States and  the building of new ones is increasing. I know of three right here in Ocean county, New Jersey. People, we are in serious trouble.

CERN

Since the CERN, (the Hadron Collider has been  revved up, thousands of people have reported supernatural  beings. Truly, the escalating violence, anarchy and sexual debauchery has been  spewing through various portals (gateways) all over the word. like swarms of angry hornet s. Still think this is all a conspiracy theory? Do your research and see what  scientists have to say about it. Hell’s worse  formidable monsters will soon be spreading like wildfire everywhere.

http://www.dailywire.com/news/2426/muslims-rape-women-germany-new-years-german-michael-qazvini

I hope my Christian American brethren who want truth and who want to be part of Father’s  reconnaissance team prepare for battle because the forces of hell are coming to war against the armies of God! We are His soldiers and we had better get ready for the battle ahead.

Oh…I almost forgot. Guess who will be cast into the lake of fire?

Rev 21 7&9-8

7“He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. 8“But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”

I guess we  better put on the  amour of God. and 2 Tim 1:17

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Still don’t get it? Pray, research and Pray some more!

Prayer,

Father the gates of hell shall not prevail against us, so we Thank You and glorify Your name. You have given us everything we need to be victorious and also to win souls for Your kingdom. Abba Father, deploy your heavenly warrior and ministry angels to the four quarters of teh earth, for such a time as this, to impart to us divine wisdom, revelation and  spiritual  warfare  strategy so that when we stand before You, You’ll say well done, good and faithful servant. The lives of millions depend on our alertness and warfare intercessory prayers. Give us strength and persistence as we wage war with giant unseen and seen demonic forces. In Jesus Yashuah’s mighty name, amen!

And here is a mighty scripture to DECREE when you get fearful from Psalm 144.

Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
    who trains my hands for war,
    my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress,
    my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
    who subdues peoples[a] under me.

TRUE DISCERNMENT


http://bible-library.com/imgfullsize?id=ag1iaWJsZS1saWJyYXJ5cg8LEgdQaWN0dXJlGIXwQww

True Discernment Oct 15, 2014

His fathomless eyes pierced deep withing hr spirit. She felt a cool, gentle cleansing come over her thoughts and memories. She thought of the cruel, demeaning men who had misused and abused her. She thought of her valueless existence and total dependence on her latest partner. Her parents and siblings had long disowned her, calling her a whore and lazy woman. Every time, she met a man, they somehow tricked her into even more sell-loathing and shame. Each man added more baggage and shame.

As the man continued to probe her and talk to her, her eyes started to fill with tears. He had the most compassionate eyes, she had ever seen. His voice was gentle and h seemed genuinely interested in her. Could he really see that she was a broken woman who had a deep longing for a man to cherish and respect her. She no longer had a soul, but now she was mesmerized and couldn’t move from her place at the well.

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Here is a glorious picture of our Savior, Yashuah Jesus discerning the life and spirit of a precious woman who needed deliverance and healing. We also know the story of how Jesus chose Matthew to be one of His disciples. Tax collectors in Biblical days were treated with hostility and avoided at all costs. Many were greedy and dishonest, but in spite of the prejudice, Jesus saw Matthew’s open and willing heart and what he was capable of being for Jesus’ ministry and the kingdom of God.

How often have we made hasty judgements of people and even our brethren just by looking at, observing their habits or listening to their speech. During Jesus’ discourse with the woman at the well, we notice that he was attentive and asked for her to draw water for Him. Indeed, she was intrigued and very surprised that he took notice of her. The beauty of this supernatural encounter with Jesus was that the Samaritan woman was not uncomfortable, nor did she seem afraid as he talked to her. Then Jesus gets very personal and says he knows she’s had five husbands and she was not married to her latest partner. As the discourse progresses, Jesus offers her the gift being forever watered and satiated by living water from an eternal well spring!

By the time Jesus finished talking with her, she was forever transformed! She was so jubilant that she couldn’t wait to tell everyone she knew of the Saviors Messiah whom she had been saved and delivered! This happens to be one of my favorite stories of the Bible, because I too was a person a mixed ancestry, who never fit in school or with others. I also suffered from my mother throwing me out of our house in senior year of highschool. I also suffered harassment from school and had difficult relationships with former pastors who misunderstood and judged me wrongly On top of all that mess, I had s string of relationships with men who were emotionally broken, needy and lacked self-worth. I truly related to that lonely, but precious Samaritan women.

In our encounters with people, we deduce that nudge in our spirit to be Holy Spirit discernment. We must remember that since we are so close to Christ;’s return, deceiving spirits and false prophets will proliferate the landscape of Christendom. We must be constantly on guard and in God’s presence to differentiate between the holy and the profane. We must stop and lsiten to His voice and ask “is this God, from satan or my suspicious, paranoid flesh”? God’s people must be extremely alert and sensitive to navigate through the maze of spiritual information and manifestations. Through making so many mistakes and suffering from lack of true discernment, I’ve paid a heavy price for not having the needed knowledge I needed. It can be frustrating for young believers to learn how to have discernment, the know the difference between conviction or condemnation.
How can the child of God accurately discern by Holy Spirit?

The first thing I do when I arise is pray Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

And
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139 23&24

If I feel a spiritual impression, my husband often asks me, it is God’s nudge or satan’s nudge. That got me a little nervous and I knew that I had to get serious and seek him earnestly and ask for confirmation. Recently I was very comforted by pastor Pastor Robert Morris’ (Gateway Church ) Special teaching, The God I Never Knew, He explains the transforming and loving nature of the Holy Spirit. He is so meticulous about us seeking and receiving all the precious gifts God has for us and that we need not be afraid of receiving a bad impartation from satan or a counterfeit spirit!
.
Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12″Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? Luke 11 11&12…

When we pray continually like this each morning and evening of our lives, he will truly guide us. If we are searching for Him more than the gifts and blessings, He will show himself great and show you great and mighty thing as he said to Jeremiah. 33:3

Father desires for his children to prosper in every area of our lives and be in health.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

Wisdom and direction is available to all of us including how to deal with brothers and sisters who are in error or about to make a serious mistake in their lives. We shouldn’t immediately jump on their case and condemn them without first praying about how to address an issue.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere… James 3 17&18 .

We should aspire to be led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. Romans 8:14
If we stay in the word and in His presence, we will rarely be led astray, Jesus told us
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.…John 15:4&5

Having discernment means to bear and to judge good fruit.
You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18″A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.…Matt 7 16&17

We are also told to est the spirits to see they if they are of God. 1 John $:1

Here is the challenge of the children of God. Not every one who names Christ is truly a son or daughter. In these very dark days of deception and false prophets, it is even more crucial for God’s people to walk in true Holy Spirit discernment. Kundalini, (false spirits) has infiltrated many, many churches and charismatic denominations today. Great discernment is sorely needed so that non believers and new born believers don’t become fearful when it comes to experiencing the supernatural gifts and manifestations of the Lord!

Let us remember that Father God of lights protect His own. Blessed are the pure in spirit for they shall see God. Those who seek him with all their heart shall find Him. Jer.29:13

I’ve seen and experienced too many unnecessary mistakes by God’s people who suffer and die from lack of knowledge and wisdom. Truly wisdom is the principle thing,

Young believers also need to be discipled and nurtured in the things of God. I didn’t have a spiritual mentor, so I suffered many difficult and unnecessary grievances, most involving pastors. One former pastor often called me into his because of questions other pastor would call him about. This pastor questioned why I dressed the way I did, was suspicious about needing to have temporary food from the church food pantry and my purchasing of a Taylor guitar. I was deeply wounded by my pastor’s suspicion of my every action. I felt such hurt, I had to find another church and I ended up in a well know Calvary church, in Old Bridge, NJ. At first, the worship pastor was excited and supportive to learn I was musically gifted. He said he would love me to sing on the worship team soon. Months later, when I asked him when I could audition, his seemed distant and cold and told me that I would have to begin at the bottom, the Broken Loaves food pantry ministry, before I could lead worship!

Another pastor of an AG church mistrusted my worship leading. As soon as people started feeling the anointing raise and the strong presence of God by lifting their hands and worshiping, he would interrupt and dismiss every one to go home! I was very grieved and I’m sure so was Holy Spirit. After these spiritual traumas, I knew that Father God was teaching me a lesson about praying and seeking His will for my life and calling. I didn’t seek discernment and wasted precious time in churches where I didn’t really belong. I put all my trust in pastors and asked their opionion about everything, rather than asking Father!

I’m growing and learning, though and Father is so gracious! I seek Him with a pure and passionate heart and find complete affirmation, acceptance and guidance. I’ve learned that His style and way is disimiliar from my earthly father’s rigid and harsh discipline, I had to learn when to leave an atmosphere of abuse or legalsim. God sent very rigid and intimidating pastors so I could learn to be led by His precious Holy Spirit and to know that his way and will for my life, ministry and marriage. Would be very different for someone else! I see His precious hand in my own husband’s and my unconventional and challenged relating dynamics and marriage. Only Holy Spirit can guide our unique paths. Both my husband Mark and I have encountered some disturbing experience with false pastors and their ministries. .
We must ask holy Spirit for even more guidance and discernment as we see the many strange manifestations regularly occurring on Christian TV which try to imitate our God. Kundalini spirit operate in many of these “cults”. The leaders of many of these churches are prideful and mammon-greedy, lording over their flocks. There is too much opulent living through begging for “seed offerings” and such. Many have lost their focus on serving and preaching repentance and holiness.

We must get back to basics and pastors, bishops and leaders need to start following Jesus’ commandment of love, otherwise, the church will be filled with division, strife, suspicion, condemnation, deception and wasted kingdom potential

Before we barge into anyone’s life or church like a bull in a china shop, we must lay at our Father’s feet and ask Holy Spirit for His direction. Unbridled zeal rarely brings about gentle acceptance and revelation. While going into deep study about false (Kundalini) spirits and true discernment I came upon a relevant statement from Andrew Strom, author of “Why I Left the Prophetic Movement). The book is a shocking expose of what is going on in God’s house. The following words echo my exact feelings when it comes to ministering in love by His wisdom and discernment.

A lot of people think that to be a prophet, you have to be hard…..When I was a
young Christian, I was a total zealot., but I was often without wisdom….and also
without love. I would walk into a room full of Christians and start an argument at
the drop of a hat.. I was not afraid to blast anyone … truth was king!. That was the
most important thing and that was all I cared about! ..

Over the years, God did a work in me…..From God’s point of view, the most
Thing in the world is PEOPLE! In those early years, it was not peopel that I
truly cared about. The only thing I deeply valued was the truth that I was trying
to put across that day. And as I attacked and spiritually hacked at people all
day, I was a spiritual nightmare!

If you love your truths more than you love people, then you are an out-and-
out pharisee….If you can get broken enough to truly love people and value them
more than anything else on earth, then speak truth to them out of that place of
love. Listen friends
you can do anything with truth, you can use it to beat people up or set them
free. You can use it in love or you can use it in self-righteousness to hammer and
condemn people.

Father, may your people truly be a city on a hill whose light is so compelling that it draws All men unto you. It’s not by power, not by might but by Your Spirit sayeth the Lord. Teach us to discern how we are to minister to each individual soul. My our discourse be so enthrallingly lovely, as Jesus spoke to that Samaritan woman at the well and may they be totally joyful and transformed by your love! In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen

TRUE DISCERNMENT

His fathomless eyes pierced deep withing hr spirit. She felt a cool, gentle cleansing come over her thoughts and memories. She thought of the cruel, demeaning men who had misused and abused her. She thought of her valueless existence and total dependence on her latest partner. Her parents and siblings had long disowned her, calling her a whore and lazy woman. Every time, she met a man, they somehow tricked her into believing even more that she was worthless and used-up. Each man added more baggage and shame.

As the man continued to probe her and talk to her, her eyes started to fill with tears. He had the most compassionate eyes, she had ever seen. His voice was gentle and h seemed genuinely interested in her. Could he really see that she was a broken woman who had a deep longing for a man to cherish and respect her. She no longer had a soul, but now she was mesmerized and couldn’t move from her place at the well.

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Here is a glorious picture of our Savior, Yashuah Jesus discerning the life and spirit of a precious woman who needed deliverance and healing. We also know the story of how Jesus chose Matthew to be one of His disciples. Tax collectors in Biblical days were treated with hostility and avoided at all costs. Many were greedy and dishonest, but in spite of the prejudice, Jesus saw Matthew’s open and willing heart and what he was capable of being for Jesus’ ministry and the kingdom of God.

How often have we made hasty judgements of people and even our brethren just by looking at, observing their habits or listening to their speech. During Jesus’ discourse with the woman at the well, we notice that he was attentive and asked for her to draw water for Him. Indeed, she was intrigued and very surprised that he took notice of her. The beauty of this supernatural encounter with Jesus was that the Samaritan woman was not uncomfortable, nor did she seem afraid as he talked to her. Then Jesus gets very personal and says he knows she’s had five husbands and she was not married to her latest partner. As the discourse progresses, Jesus offers her the gift being forever watered and satiated by living water from an eternal well spring!

By the time Jesus finished talking with her, she was forever transformed! She was so jubilant that she couldn’t wait to tell everyone she knew of the Saviors Messiah whom she had been saved and delivered! This happens to be one of my favorite stories of the Bible, because I too was a person a mixed ancestry, who never fit in school or with others. I also suffered from my mother throwing me out of our house in senior year of high school. I also suffered harassment from school and had difficult relationships with former pastors who misunderstood and judged me wrongly On top of all that mess, I had s string of relationships with men who were emotionally broken, needy and lacked self-worth. I truly related to that lonely, but precious Samaritan women.

In our encounters with people, we deduce that nudge in our spirit to be Holy Spirit discernment. We must remember that since we are so close to Christ;’s return, deceiving spirits and false prophets will proliferate the landscape of Christendom. We must be constantly on guard and in God’s presence to differentiate between the holy and the profane. We must stop and listen to His voice and ask “is this God, from satan or my suspicious, paranoid flesh God’s people must be extremely alert and sensitive to navigate through the maze of spiritual information and manifestations. Through making so many mistakes and suffering from lack of true discernment, I’ve paid a heavy price for not having the needed knowledge I know seek. It can be frustrating for young believer to learn how to have discernment, the know the difference between conviction and  condemnation.
How can the child of God accurately discern by Holy Spirit?

The first I do when I arise is pray Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

And
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139 23&24

If I feel a spiritual impression, my husband often asks me, it is God’s nudge or satan’s nudge. That got me a little nervous and I knew that I had to get serious and seek him earnestly and ask for confirmation. Recently I was very comforted by pastor Pastor Robert Morris’ (gateway Church ) Special teaching, The God I Never Knew, He explains the transforming and loving nature of the Holy Spirit. He is so meticulous about us seeking and receving all the precious gifts God has for us and that we need not be afraid of receiving a bad imparatinion from satan or a counterfeit spirit!
.
Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12″Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? Luke 11 11&12…

When we pray continually like this each morning and evening of our lives, he will truly guide us. If we are searching for Him more than the gifts and blessings, He will show himself great and show you great and mighty thing as he said to Jeremiah. 33:3

Father desires for his children to prosper in every area of our lives and be in health.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

Wisdom and direction is available to all of us including how to deal with brothers and sisters who are in error or about to make a serious mistake in their lives. We shouldn’t immediately jump on their case and condemn them without first praying about how to address an issue.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere… James 3 17&18 .

We should aspire to be led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. Romans 8:14
If we stay in the word and in His presence, we will rarely be led astray, Jesus told us
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.…John 15:4&5

Having discernment means to bear and to judge good fruit.
You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18″A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.…Matt 7 16&17

We are also told to est the spirits to see they if they are of God. 1 John $:1

Here is the challenge of the children of God. Not every one who names Christ is truly a son or daughter. In these very dark days of deception and false prophets, it is even more crucial for God’s people to walk in true Holy Spirit discernment. Kundalini, (false spirits) has infiltrated many, many churches and charismatic denominations today. Great discernment is sorely needed so that non believers and new born believers don’t become fearful when it comes to experiencing the supernatural gifts and manifestations of the Lord!

Let us remember that Father God of lights protect His own. Blessed are the pure in spirit for they shall see God. Those who seek him with all their heart shall find Him. Jer.29:13

I’ve seen and experienced too many unnecessary mistakes by God’s people who suffer and die from lack of knowledge and wisdom. Truly wisdom is the principle thing,

Young believers also need to be discipled and nurtured in the things of God. I didn’t have a spiritual mentor, so I suffered many difficult and unnecessary grievances, most involving pastors. One former pastor often called me into his because of questions other pastor would call him about. This pastor questioned why I dressed the way I did, was suspicious about needing to have temporary food from the church food pantry and my purchasing of a Taylor guitar. I was deeply wounded by my pastor’s suspicion of my every action. I felt such hurt, I had to find another church and I ended up in a well know Calvary church, in Old Bridge, NJ. At first, the worship pastor was excited and supportive to learn I was musically gifted. He said he would love me to sing on the worship team soon. Months later, when I asked him when I could audition, his seemed distant and cold and told me that I would have to begin at the bottom, the Broken Loaves food pantry ministry, before I could lead worship!

Another pastor of an AG church mistrusted my worship leading. As soon as people started feeling the anointing raise and the strong presence of God by lifting their hands and worshiping, he would interrupt and dismiss every one to go home! I was very grieved and I’m sure so was Holy Spirit. After these spiritual traumas, I knew that Father God was teaching me a lesson about praying and seeking His will for my life and calling. I didn’t seek discernment and wasted precious time in churches where I didn’t really belong. I put all my trust in pastors and asked their opinion about everything, rather than asking Father!

I’m growing and learning, though and Father is so gracious! I seek Him with a pure and passionate heart and find complete affirmation, acceptance and guidance. I’ve learned that His style and way is disimiliar from m y earthly father’s rigid and harsh discipline, I had to learn when to leave an atmosphere of abusive or rigid. God sent very rigid and intimidating pastors so I could learn to be led by His precious Holy Spirit and to know that his way and will for my life, ministry and marriage. Would be very different for someone else! I see His precious hand in my own husband’s and my unconventional and challenged relating dynamics and marriage. Only Holy Spirit can guide our unique paths. Both my husband Mark and I have encountered some disturbing experience with false pastors and their ministries. .
We are asking father for even more guidance and discernment as we see some may strange manifestations that try to imitate our God. Besides the alarming amount of Kundalini spirits we are seeing on Christian TV channels, we also notice many are also cults. Many of these leaders are prideful and mammon-greedy lording over their followers! I see too much opulent living through begging for “seed offerings” and such. Many have lost their focus on serving and preaching repentance and holiness.

We must get back to basics and pastors, bishops and leaders need to start following Jesus’ commandment of love, otherwise, the church will be filled with division, strife, suspicion, condemnation, deception and wasted kingdom potential

Before we barge into anyone’s life or church like a bull in a china shop, we must lay at our Father’s feet and ask Holy Spirit for His direction. Unbridled zeal rarely brings about gentle acceptance and revelation. While going into deep study about false (Kundalini) spirits and true discernment I came upon a relevant statement from Andrew Strom, author of “Why I Left the Prophetic Movement). The book is a shocking expose of what is going on in God’s house. The following words echo my exact feelings when it comes to ministering in love by His wisdom and discernment.

A lot of people think that to be a prophet, you have to be hard…..When I was a
young Christian, I was a total zealot., but I was often without wisdom….and also
without love. I would walk into a room full of Christians and start an argument at
the drop of a hat.. I was not afraid to blast anyone … truth was king!. That was the most important thing and that was all I cared about! ..

Over the years, God did a work in me…..From God’s point of view, the most
Thing in the world is PEOPLE! In those early years, it was not people that I
truly cared about. The only thing I deeply valued was the truth that I was trying
to put across that day. And as I attacked and spiritually hacked at people all
day, I was a spiritual nightmare!

If you love your truths more than you love people, then you are an out-and-
out pharisee….If you can get broken enough to truly love people and value them
more than anything else on earth, then speak truth to them out of that place of
love. Listen friends
you can do anything with truth, you can use it to beat people up or set them
free. You can use it in love or you can use it in self-righteousness to hammer and
condemn people.

Father, may your people truly be a city on a hill whose light is so compelling that it draws All men unto you. It’s not by power, not by might but by Your Spirit sayeth the Lord. Teach us to discern how we are to minister to each individual soul. My our discourse be so enthrallingly lovely, as Jesus spoke to that Samaritan woman at the well and may they be totally joyful and transformed by your love! In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen

You Are God’s Treasure


rsz_puff dandelion  normail

Today is your day. Today is the day to wake up to your greatness, the greatness that Father God has pre-ordained since before the world’s creation.  Brother’s and sisters, come now and receive the revelation of who you are and what your destiny is!

As I quieted myself to come into Abba Father’s presence a few weeks ago, I felt impressed to open my Bible to the book of Ephesians. I’d read Ephesians  hundreds of time in 30 years, but this time, I felt a quickening, an illumination that I’d never experienced before. As I began reading the first verses, a sweet understanding opened in my mind like the petals of a flower.  I’m often exhilarated  when I delve into  Father’s word and am never disappointed when Holy Spirit starts to illuminate the passages, which brings me deeper in my love and knowledge of Him. And there are days where I feel empty and malnourished because I neglected to spend quality time in His word. and in His presence.meditating on His word has became my daily bread and expands my spirit and helps me to make sense of this crazy world.  His precious word settle my soul and stabilizes my footsteps, His reality and the inaccuracy of own fleshy perspective.  If I open that Bible and there is no expansion  or expectation in my mind, I might as well not bother. But, Father is so faithful and He helps me to soar to the next spiritual level..

For over two weeks, I’ve been stirred up and meditating about  Paul’s first and second chapter(letter) to  the Ephesians.  The description of our inheritance got me so  excited that I wondered why former  pastors in my life didn’t teach and elaborate on these precious promises  and inheritance of the saints. We are in dark times and many brothers and sisters are fearful and have spiritually “shut down. ” Many  have been attacked in their bodies by terrible chronic illness and emotional afflictions. Satan has increased the assignments against our health so we are worn down and apathetic to God’s things. He knows that if he can get us to be tired by our sickness we won’t pick up our Bibles and pray.

Here is where all of us have a responsibility to remind our brethren constantly of God’s promises and to pray and stir up their gifts and callings when they are weak or feeling physical attacks. unis meant to wear down the saints to wear we are unmotivated to read. declare God’s word and  energetically wield our spiritual weapons.

Pastors need to reevaluate their teaching and preaching molds through Holy Spirit’s guidance.  They  must learn to redouble their efforts to strengthen their flock by corporate prayer, fasting and koinonia fellowship. When wounded brethren are left alone and without loving fellowship, here is where satan has them under his grip of depression. The body must pray for discernment so that we are sensitive and know how and when to restore our precious wounded brethren.  When we walk in love, all the promises of Christ will make us more content,  victorious and having expectation of victory! We msut be diligent to pray fervently for each other, carrying each others burdens and seeking the “rootedness and groundedness” of our brothers and sisters.. Saints, we must be people of devout, fervent prayer,. Our prayers are so powerful all heaven and hell are shaken.

Mat 11:12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

before we continue exploring, I wish to remind you all that, though we rae guarantied our divine blessings, satan’s Mo is to steal, kill and destroy. Don”t think that because we are God’s children that our inheritance and standing is to be maintained without a fight!Jude tell us in jude 1:3

I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people.

Wait a minute,  you protest, I didn’t know it would be a battle to  hold on to our faith! Yes, We will have to fight continually to stay close to god, to grow in His knowledge and to stand in victory every day. We are in war and unless we are vigilant and serially  determined to abide in eh vine, there will be great casualties on the spirituous battlefield! but take heart, for Jesus said, “I have overcome the world!”j

Continuing to explore the opening chapters of Ephesians, I found glorious things to meditate and embrace. and so full of spiritual nourishment! Paul tells us in Eph 1:3 that Jesus has blessed us in the heavenly realm with all spiritual blessings!  No  demon in hell can deny our inheritance., as long as we are in covenant with Father and Jesus. When we seek Him with all our hearts and delight to be in His presence daily, every blessing is ours!  If we are living sloppy agape lives, though, satan will entice us to walk in carnality, strife and  self-centeredness.

Precious brethren, I remind you of the wonderful blessings you are entitled to as a Child of the MOST High God!.  Study to show yourselves approved,

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:15

Once you embrace God’s word and  allow its seed of truth to become  a part of you,  you’ll never be the same again and you will glow with the luminescence of His glory that all should see and believe in the Glory of God!

Blessings

1. You are sealed with the Holy Spirit of Promise. Eph 1:13

2. …and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength Eph 1:19

We are given power! That is very exciting for those of us who were fearful, timid and cowardly. we can now walk in Holy Boldness against our enemy and evil.

3.  We have wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. Eph. 1:17

4. We receive Spiritual illumination Eph 1:18
5. Our spirits are quickened ( made alive and “activated). Wow, imagine, we are like a charged battery ready to go and move mountains.

6. We are elevated  and seated upward to Christ’s place .  Eph 2:6 We are no longer enslaved by the material, earthly or carnal.  Christ has positioned us to a new  nobility. We are kings and priest Rev 1:6 and one day we will judge Angels!. 1 Cor 6:3

7.  We are lavished with incomparable riches of exceeding grace! Eph 2:7  No matter how many times we fall or struggle with sin, Jesus mediates on our behalf, continually… Rom 8 35-39 tells us ..”Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

  “For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord… in my case not even these tremors and shaking can alienated me from my Father great love!! I do NOT have to afraid that he will be fed up with me. And when I stumble or sin and ask His forgiveness, He wants me to “come right ” and enjoy fellowship with Him again! That is how much our Heavenly Father delights in us. There is nothing more He desires than us  seeking his presence! One of my favorite Christian female artist, Margaret Becker,  wrote and recorded the most wonderful song about god’s great love for us and how He doesn’t want our sins to keep us away from him.

8.  We are His workmanship! (His artistry) created in Christ to do good works, Eh 2:19  Imagine we are a piece of clay and Father God molds us and shapes us on His potters wheel, so we can be used for His glory!!

9. He is our peace.,. Eph 2:14 In these precarious times of impending war, political, social and spiritual turmoil, we know that He stabilizes us. We do not have to fear losing our jobs, struggling with a catastrophic illness or agonizing over the  death of a loved on. No matter what, when  we look to him and ask for help, he will gentle our stormy spirits! Glory to God!

10.  He gave gifts to men, (for the perfecting of the saints ). Wow! Imagine that. Every person born into God’s kingdom now has gifts.  They are not just for him to enjoy but will (like a tapestry) weave in with other saints gifts for the edifying of the Body of Christ.  We are all important  and fitly joined together (Eph 4:16) and with Christ as the cornerstone!.( Eph 2  19-22).

I wonder of most of God’s children realize this wonderful truth: that we are ALL building stones in the glorious, spiritual house of God. would we all want to be part of this heavenly building?  So many are ignorant of the importance of their part in God’s tapestry! So, do not be anxious about what is happening in the middle east, the flailing economy, your lost loved-ones or your illness. .Look to Him, lift up your hands to Him and Thank Him with all your heart. He inhabits your praise. Things will change when you learn that worship is the entrance into His fullness, peace and  contentment!   Jesus is seeking a Bride who is awaiting Him with expectation!  Look not on the temporal and physical, for they are temporary and pale in comparison to the glories that await us in eternity! get excited, beloved. People get ready. Get on Board. The King is coming!!!

Prayer,

    Abba Father, I thank You for illuminating my precious brothers and sisters that they know they Your treasure in earthen vessels. Though they may be frail, ailing and/or  struggling with sin, Your glorious mystery, (their adoption as Your beloved children, inheritance and glorious transformation in the age to come, is there’s no ifs ands or buts!  Holy spirit, remind us daily how to receive and keep your glorious truth in our hearts. Help us to stay excited about being a part of your spiritual house.

I thank You, Father for Your astounding workmanship in my brethren today, in Jesus name, amen!

PEOPLE 101


I’ve finished reading “My Time In Heaven, A True Story of Dying and Coming Back” by Richard Sigmund. It is inspirational. timely and healing after having a major falling out with a person who I thought was a confidant. Betrayal, being misunderstand and falsely accused is never a pleasant experience, but I know that the sooner I “get over it,” the sooner I move forward in my life.I’m always refreshed after I’ve poured out my honest feelings to the Lord, forgiven and prayed for the person who hurt me.

From chapter to chapter, Richard shares his experiences in heaven and in the presence of God. There are unimaginable treasures in Heaven that God has meticulously crafted just for us. According to his book, nothing on earth could compare to such amazing perfection and joy! As a “people” person, I wished that everyone could read this book and feel compelled to reach out to Jesus Christ and to enjoy their eternal destiny with Him I

I came to Chapter 19, “The Other Place.” Jesus took Richard to hell. I couldn’t imagine the horrific demons, their torturing methods and the stench that would await those who have rejected the great sacrifice Jesus gave us on the cross. I stared to weep as he focused on a poor soul and his torment. I had to put the book down for a while, I wept so hard. It was difficult reading and even more painful to imagine torment was forever. I asked God to allow me to be share the Gospel salvation message with as many as I could. I also thanked Him allotted us a yet another tiny window of time to accomplish the urgent task of evangelizing more souls. I wondered why anyone wouldn’t do anything possible to avoid going there.The enormity of this reality and the after life continued to move my spirit to weeping. I know it breaks God’s heart to see so many of His precious creation go to a place never meant for them.

I took a break from reading the book, but continued pondering the afterlife. Jesus said, “Many or called, but few chosen.” I sadly marveled about evil, hatred and calamity enveloping America and the world. God reminded me that His people were to be the shining lights that bring healing to the nations! Many of His people are mean and condemning. Many have also back-slidden and left the fold because of brutish pastors and elders who spiritually abused or misunderstood them.

Jesus is the gentle shepherd who says, “Come to me, Ye who are heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” He was the greatest teacher, soul-sculptor and counselor. He hand-picked his disciples, patiently grooming them in His own special way. Do you want to know the secrets of “soul-sculpting”? Sit and listen at Jesus feet. Are you a pastor, an elder, a husband or father? Sit quietly at Jesus feet and learn of Him, for He is lowly and humble. Every servant-leader realizes that if he wants people to receive of him, He must be willing to be as a servant first!

Jesus hated hypocrisy and venomously rebuked the Pharisees. They loved to scrutinize and condemn…thus their tactics brought few into the kingdom. He scolded,

“The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”
Mat 23 2-4

The amazing thing about the Jewish leaders were that they highly educated and memorized even the smallest issues of the law. They were intoxicated by their own self-importance and intellect. So are many modern Christians today. Instead of the lost being attracted to the Gospel, they are repelled. Many of today’s pastors, priests and Rabbi’s are no different that the Pharisees of old, who loved to control their converts. Their hearts were closed to what Holy Spirit has to say. When loves is omitted, the letter of the law kills…but the Spirit brings life. 2 Cor 3:6.

Follower or Christ, I’d run in the opposite direction if your pastor hammered you with restrictions of his own making and limitations not in the Bible. God allow you to think for yourself and question. Test the spirits. 1 Jn 4:1

Recently, the Lord allowed me to learn a new lesson. My health had taken a dive and I was desperate for relief. I was introduced to a highly skilled christian health practitioner who was adamant about 100% committment to her strict protocol. I was sent long letters with long lists of supplements and healing machines and costly herbs. I was already grappling with strained family relationships, caring for my house and husband. Our budget was strained with the cost of the ladies’ protocol. On list of my protocol had 29 things to do and eat! I felt very weighed down. progress was slow, but I felt better as the weeks went by. A few months later, she mailed me a ten-paged letter blasted me as being rebellious, disobedient and unthankful! I was so shocked, I had to fall on my face in deep prayer and seeking wisdom from the harsh words.

It took me about a week to address all the emotion in that letter. I took it to prayer and asked Father God what the lesson was. This Sunday, my pastor preached about what true freedom in christ was and the light came on! God was giving me a taste of what it’s like to be under spiritual bondage. I was depressed and entrapped by the law and walking under condemnation. Continuing in prayer and sharing the contents of the letter with other godly, wise women, I realized my relationship with this woman was not communicated in love, for Christ always calls us into loving correction and restoration.

This lesson was needful and worthy to be included with my other my other areas of expertise. I’ve mentored people from all walks of life. I’ve learned that people have deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, habits and mindsets modeled by dysfunctional parents, teachers, relatives and pastors. During Jesus’ ministry, he met many wounded and misunderstood people. Encountering them face to face, His goal was to set them at ease. He instantly knew their struggles, shame and hopelessness.

As we follow Jesus last directing to make disciples of all men, Are we attracting the lost to Father? I’ve heard many non believers say that Christians are mean. They preach one thing, yet do the opposite. In general, the unsaved are repelled by condemnation. Jesus said, “I’ve not come to condemn the world but to save it.”

Peter is our example of Jesus’ loving discipleship. Jesus responded to Peter’s impulsiveness and zeal with patience and guidance. As I recall the Peter/Jesus discourses. In one episode Jesus marvels at Peter’s willingness to step out of the boat and walk on water. In another, He rebuked Peter for wielding the sword to cut off the high priest’s servants ear.
The Lord reminds me of His patience with me as I minister to people He’s brought my way and will bring my way in the future.

As a youth counselor for Youth Advocate Program in Eatontown, NJ from 1989 to 1992, I mentored up to seven kids, (aged 8 to 17) from a variety of family crisis situations. One seventeen year old was Hispanic and lived at home with his mother, (who spoke no English) and his two younger sisters. Both of the girls were clinically depressed and their father was incarcerated. There was a great stronghold of depression in that house. Under my mentoring, this young man’s demeanor changed. I asked him to help me keep the kids in line and he flourished in that leadership capacity! I also remember God’s faithfulness with all seven kids kids safety and welfare while they rode with me. I gained great understanding and compassion and learned much about family dynamics and relationship order. The kids learned to honor, respect and help each other and it was amazing to see them connect regarding all the activities and workshops I planned for them. They knew I cared for them and I could feel their love for me! Looking back, I marvel gratefully, for God gifting me with the ability to so potential and greatness in all the kids.

Around the same time, I enjoyed a six month stint as a Behavior Modification counselor for Nutri-System Weight Loss centers. My clients were professional adults: policemen, professors, judges and CEOs who clamored to enroll in my crowded classes. My reputation preceded me. They’d heard the testimonies of previous clients’ weight-loss and lifestyle successes. I remember the passion and excitement I had each morning, getting ready for work. It was amazing that God gave me such a platform having just graduated from Brookdale Community College! I was humbled to positively influence, these financially successful, but unhealthy people. After only several weeks, our regional supervisor came from out-of-state to sit in on one of classes to see what the ado was about!
Though I wasn’t allowed to preach or mention Jesus, I was allowed freedom to bring my own creativity and victory stories to support the curriculum. The client was attentive and felt my interest and concern as they sought my guidance for their new, healthy lifestyle. I asked God everyday to bless my work and He answered many prayers. My main tool was connection by looking each person in the eye with love, gave many hugs and listened with my heart.

My boot camp of PEOPLE 101 continued several years later. Executive Director, Carolyn Eyerman and project Coordinator, Joan Hodum faced me during my interview for the position of Program Coordinator of a new ministry, (Love In the Name of Christ). The program would prepare single moms, dislocated and poor women returning to the work force from the welfare rolls. I’d also oversee a business clothing boutique and business mentoring outreach. I didn’t feel ready, (just coming out of another long illness) but obediently followed God’s leading to apply and accept the position. My six years at Love Inc, fine-tuned my people/mentoring skills for my present responsibilities as a an ordained minister/hospice councilor and worship leader. I also learned so much from the supportive staff members at Love Inc. They were always there for me and taught me all about walking in God’s love, power and guidance.

I don’t believe any pastor, leader or teacher should be in a position of leadership unless they have extensive experience with (“soul sculpting).” How can one truly mete out the divine love, patience and counseling Jesus gave unless one has truly spent time in the Lord’s presence and quality one on one time with people God sends? Sometimes broken hearts can be so deep, they have to be excavated.

Jesus said, “As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be zealous therefor and repent” Rev 3:19 True discipleship must be balanced by Holy Spirit compassion and the discipline of guidance and correction. Jesus never beat his disciples as many pastor beat their sheep too harshly. We know the necessity discipline, for it’s no different from our earthly parents and teachers. This grooms us for the partaking of His holiness, Heb 12:3-11.

The best servant/leader straddles successfully nurturing with discipline. Under these conditions, a person will be whole, full of joy, peace, purpose and the Holy Spirit. They do great exploits. Dan 11:32

Until the non believers see Christians loving each other in America, they will scorn and laugh at our powerlessness and disunity. They’ll also be mesmerized by the occult, witchcraft and New Age gurus.

On thing is most needful. Near the end of Richard Sigmund’s book, Jesus said,

" My people have lost their compassion, I highly desire compassion in my children. In this they show my Father's love"

I pray that we all look in the mirror and ask ourselves, do we truly have the Father's compassion. Are we more concerned about our Facebook social status, designing and maintaining our websites and soliciting funds for our new building or soup kitchen. God is not concerned about any of that. He is concerned about the condition of broken souls. He is seeking willing and compassionate servants to heal, transform and restore. He has a plan for everyone. Jer 29, 11

Are you listening and acting with love in your heart today?

THE BRIDE


THE BRIDE, January 17 2013

“”Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

A gentle shepherd searches urgently amidst the thorny brambles and gnarled brush seeking a wounded, trembling sheep. Could that be you? You’ve been alone, isolated, misunderstood even by your own family members. Friends forsook you and even your search for God in churches have led you to places of disgust, disappointment and even more spiritual devastation than before you walked in the doors.

I’ve been one of those battered little lost lambs. I’ve stumbled from pasture to pasture only to end up sitting, yet once again under the wrong shepherd who battered me worse than the last one! I’ve long ago stopped searching for human shepherds to lead and guide me. I’ve entered the sweet rest in Yeshuah Hamashiah’s pasture. My drawing closer to Him has brought me to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy, but the more I seek him, the more hungry I am for all He has to give and show me! The covenant of adoption began when Jesus declared peter to be the first father of the church. Covenants are drawn between close associates, not with a stranger or acquaintance.

Yeshuah Jesus said, “ I am the door to the sheepfold.” John 19: 7-10 Here His sheep hear His voice. They do not follow a hired shepherd because they do not care for the well-being of the sheep. Let me describe even more succinctly the depth of His care. Jesus told his disciples that at a certain point, we are no longer just His servant. He calls us His friends. As we draw nearer and nearer to Him, we find ourselves adopted into His spiritual family!

I cherish the covenant Jesus says that Father God has given us. Jesus told Peter, ‘Upon this rock shall I build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. With Jesus’ declaring regarding Peter’s anointing, began the building of the church, The Bride of Christ. Revelation Chapter 19 :7-9 talks about the great wedding prepared for His Bride, the church.

God’s people are distracted by so many temporal, material and political concerns, but we must discipline ourselves to set our focus on the Lord and His business. Most important is the necessity to sit at Jesus feet and learn of Him. He is our shepherd, who leads us to safe pasture, but he is also our bridegroom, seeking to be betrothed to His glorious Bride!

Jesus was very close to several people during His ministry. He was particularly close to John, but also to Mary, Martha and Lazarus. There are several memorable events that I’d like to expound on depicting the ideal relationship between Jesus and another person.

One episode, dear to me, is when Jesus met for supper at Simon the lepers house in Bethany While Jesus sat dining and conversing, Mary moved closer to him and sat near him to hear all he had to say. Martha bustled about in the kitchen, stressed and occupied with serving. She eyes her sister and approached Jesus.. Frowning, She turned to Jesus, “Master, tell my sister to help me.” Jesus answered in Mary’s defense., “She has chosen the better thing and she will not be denied.”

Mary was a very unconventional woman in her particular time and culture, preferring to sit with the men and learn, than bustling about the kitchen doing unimportant work. Mary loved to be around Jesus and meditated on everything He had to say. She was a deep, free-thinker!
In another episode, we read about the disciples sitting around the table, deeply engrossed in conversation. John 12 1-7. Mary is deeply contemplating as she stares at Jesus. Slowly walking, oblivious to the mens’ conversations going on, she approaches Jesus with her alabaster flask of expensive Spikenard perfume. We aren’t told how long she saved for its purchase or where she bought it. All we know was that it was worth a years wages, 300 denarii.

“Rabonni,” she whispers. As he looks at her, sits at His feet. “I have something to share with you” Mary was about to display all the depth of her adoration for her master and beloved teacher. She tapped her alabaster flask, breaking the neck, and held it over Jesus’ head. The thick, fragrant oil ran all down his robes. Jesus submitted to Mary’s passionate display and she started to weep, as if knowing that soon, she would no longer bask in His exquisite presence She then knelt down at his feet and poured more of the spikenard.. She bowed her head and her veil slid down off her shoulders. Her waist-length hair fell on Jesus feet and Mary wiped his feet with the perfume-laden hair strands. The men’s conversation suddenly stopped upon noticing the strong, sweet fragrance filling the whole room. They were intrigued watching the weeping Mary bowed down low with her long hair swirling around Jesus feet.

Of course, the men had to spoil the emotion of Mary’s devotion. They snorted in disdain and Judas even went so far as to rebuke her for wasting such an expensive product! Imagine deeming Jesus less important than money for the poor!

I’m sure the disciples were surprised when Jesus answered back, “Leave her alone. She is doing a good thing, preparing me for my burial. Jesus valued Mary’s display so much that he said that wherever the Gospel was preached her act was to be told (a testimony for all time)!

Indeed, Mary was a very special woman and responded to Jesus in deeply passionate and uncompromising way. very unconventional. She loved him unabashedly and displayed her love for him with total abandon. I’m sure she opened many secret doors to Jesus’ heart.

My prayer is to have a relationship like Mary and Jesus, where He is all I think about and live for. The gospels give a beautiful pictures of the tender place Yeshuah had for women.

We see how He responded to the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus cared less that she had a notorious reputation and was of mixed ancestry. Yeshuah witnessed the stubborn faith of the woman with the issue of blood and marveled at the young mother who begged Jesus to heal her daughter. She could have been insulted when he said He couldn’t give the bread to dogs, but she boldly declared that the crumbs were for her!

Jesus also gave the women the honor to share the glorious good news of His resurrection, while the men were fearful and doubting!

Mary’s relationship with Jesus is a beautiful example of how we, the Bride of Christ, should respond to our Bridegroom. He is not just our gentle, nurturing shepherd but our future groom! May our desire to be to sit and His feet, just to hear what He has to say to us. Let us abandon ourselves to His presence as Mary did even surrounded by the disciples.

Sometimes, I am so swept away with thankfulness and adoration, I say like the character of Mary, in Jesus Christ Superstar, “I don’t know how to love him!”

He paid such a price for us at Calvary and covenanted with us so many breathtaking promises, we surmount that there is nothing we can possible give him back! He is so marvelous and beyond description, we cannot have words to say to glorify His name!

Jesus set a new precedence in his relationship with the women he met in His travels. Though the culture at the time held women in low esteem, Jesus chose to reveal His grace, love and respect and he wanted the world to see it!

We women, (and men) have a precious inheritance, Jesus betrothal and wedding celebration. We are His chosen, cherished and glorious Bride! Jesus, Yeshuah Hamashia is still sending our invitations to the wedding, your wedding with Him! Time is running out. The wedding list is just about filled and the doors will soon be shut, forbidding any last-minute attendants to enter and celebrate. Now is the time to acknowledge your invitation.

Make sure re you have on your wedding garment or you will be denied entrance. Jesus seeks a bride whose robes are without spots or wrinkles! Perfect loves casts out all fear. Jesus said, “Count the cost,” before committing to Him. The cost is high…everything, but His burden is light and His love infinite, beyond our comprehension!

God has a wonderful plan for your life! If you are a women, you are in great company. Jesus loved women. And is using them mightily all over the world to do His work and spread His word. Start rejoicing now in His finished work for you.

Have you oil in your lamp? Get ready to meet Him.

LIVING UNDER the GUN and BREAKING FREE, Part 1


I awoke with a start to tough hands grabbing the hair at the back of my neck.
“Get up and make love to me,” my three-hundred pound husband growled viciously.

“No!”

Before I knew what was happening,  Steven threw his full weight upon my head and shoulders. He was trying to smother me. Something that I’d held in check for the  year and a half of his stalking and emotionally violating  me welled inside of me and exploded into a burst of energy.  My upper body arched upwards with a strength I’d never experienced and he was thrown off balance. I then jumped on his chest and grabbed his hair.

“If you ever touch me again, I’ll kill you.”

That ended the year and a half of courtship and marriage in hell. I will never forget that night. I’d endured demonic fits of rage and hatred directed towards me and anyone who was my friend or family member. Steven threatened to kill my sisters if they didn’t stay out of our business and reminded me  if I didn’t marry him, he would track me down to the far ends of the earth and kill me. I walked on egg shells everyday in fear of upsetting him. He forbade me to wear anything attractive and God forbid a man should lay eyes on me. They would also be threatened. Everything set  Steve off.

I got the shock of my life when after our wedding ceremony and dinner, he took every check and cash gift and deposited in his account. I never saw a dime.  His heartless control of every aspect of my life made me want to kill myself, but I had my two precious cats I didn’t want to leave behind. I was certain God hated me to put me in bondage to this monster of a man I was forced to marry.  It became more and more debilitating to daily deal with Steven’s  extreme  moods and equally traumatic to realize I was vulnerable and defenseless. Wherever I turned, there was no help. Even my pentecostal pastor and his elders were useless in their prayers to stop  Stevens violence and hatred. My weight plummeted and I lost all hope that God cared.

Looking back, I realize that even though totally unequipped and ignorant about demon-possession, God had a purpose in allowing such a trial. It was a lesson that would give me confidence and strength for the years to come.

My journey to spiritual freedom and confidence would take almost two decades.  As I share my journey with you, I pray that you can avoid unnecessary pitfalls of spiritual bondage and a defeated Christian lifestyle. I’m thankful to Yeshua, Jesus Christ, for His gentle healing and especially God’s word which have truly established my being and identity! I am forever grateful that I stuck it out with Him through my many blazing fiery trials.

How it came to the point of marrying such a disturbed man can be traced back to my early girlhood. I always had a very timid demeanor and was easily frightened by my mother and father’s  displays of anger and disapproval. I remember well two of my earliest traumas.

My father was trying to teach me how to tell time.  As my father repositioned the hands of the clock and I answered wrong, he knocked me with his strong fist on my forehead.  I cried each time and couldn’t wait for my lesson to end.  Though he didn’t criticize  me, I was still wounded with shame that I couldn’t understand how time worked.

Years later, when I was about twelve another devastating incident forever solidified my fearful temperament. My six-year-old sister was running around the house noisily and my mother exploded in a rage.  She lunged towards my little sister and  pushed her to the floor. I  screamed hysterically as she was stomping on my little sisters legs.

“Mommy, “Mommy, please, stop!”

I grabbed my little sister and dragged her to my room, where I tried to comfort her.  From that point on, I became easily nauseated every time I sensed my mother’s mood was  darkening.

When my father enrolled us in Catholic school, my younger sister and I had a  ten block trip each morning. A few times, bully girls from the bad side of town, saw us, circled us and asked us what we were doing in their neighborhood.

“Weird-looking, half-white bitches, get outta here,” they spat and kicked us hard in our rear ends. We hurried to school tearfully and when we got home to tell our mother, she just scorned us. “What do you want me to do about it? Tell your father.”

My fear of angry, disapproving people continued to establish itself, but one thing for sure, I was very creative. I learned to sew very well by watching my mother and designed beautiful costumes. Teachers also complimented me about my illustrating talent. I could draw anything. My first love though, was fashion and I made beautiful paper dolls with outfits of their native land. My mother wasn’t impressed though, for one night, while the family watched the Osmond brothers perform on the Ed Sullivan show, she looked at us with disgust, “Look at those talented boys…and all I have are stupid bums who play with paper dolls.” Her words stung like a bee bite and all of us realized we could never be able to please her, no matter what we did.

Another  memory  that shamed me happened on my first day attending seventh grade art class. I had transferred from Catholic school and was the new kid.  Difficult as it was to transition from being the teacher’s pet and having adoring friends, I focused on my creativity.

That day, my classmates were immersed in a painting project. As I admired my handiwork, a tall, dark-skinned girl stood over me with a piece of black construction paper. Her coal-black eyes, glittered as she sneered as I looked into her eyes. I sensed she did not like me and my stomach lurched with anxiety.

“You see this,  here?”she hissed with disdain, “You are as black as this paper and don’t you ever forget it'”

Her utter scorn for me took me by such surprise that I was never the same. From that day forward, I’d questioned my worth and wondered did I deserve to take space on the earth.

My parents relationship got worse as I entered high school. The tension was  unbearable as my sisters and I heard my parents yelling and belittling each other nightly. I doubted my moms sanity as she threatened to call DYFS, (Division of Youth and Family Services) on the grounds that daddy and I were severely disturbed! Ddaddy moved out and soon after, a social worker came by one day to pick my younger sister who was sixteen months younger than me for placement in a foster home.  A few months later, six months before graduation, my mother called the police on me and I was ordered out of the house. My whole life was unraveling before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it.

Anxiety, fear and self-loathing followed  me through high school. Though I managed to graduate, I knew that I had so much more potential.  All the tremendous stress, rejection and hostility of my life squelched my desires to be a professional musician and fashion designer. I grew restless and depressed and over ate bread and pasta.  When I put on ten pounds, mostly in my hips and thighs, I despised myself even more. I developed a shame complex to the point of my heart skipping a beat anytime women (or men) stared at my shape or  gazed into my features.  I often wondered what was wrong with me that I was so disrespected and scorned.

I managed to find  some gainful employment, but found few encouraging connections with the women.  Usually the urban women would stare at my backside and laugh behind my back.  I read an article in a fashion magazine about some college women controlling their weight through vomiting, so I tried it after my starvation diets  made me weak and desperate. Some of us don’t like to admit such a thing, but coming out of the closet will help some precious young girl or woman heal from abuse.

By 1981, I was a desperate sad human being.  But God knew I was ready for a change!

I settled into a rut, sharing my apartment with my best friend and room-mate.  Our only excitement was  hustling pool games at the Race Place, with our favorite handsome pool aficionados every week-end.  We befriended a nice guy who always preached about Jesus. Every week, he’s asked us, “When are you gonna get saved?”

We laughed and said, “Soon.”

After graduation, my room-mate went our separate ways and lost touch.  One week-end, I went back to visit the Race Place and bumped into Billy. He invited me to his church.

That night Billy picked me up, he explained that church would be a little different that what I would expect at a Catholic mass.

To this day, I’ll always remember my first experience at a Holy Ghost, Pentecostal, foot-stomping’ church service that scared the  life out of me.  Billy was right, my stoic Catholic worship experience didn’t quite prepare me for my first evening at Pastor Fox’s service.

The former marine, with the Jesus tattoo adorning his huge biceps and southern drawl  made me tremble with fear. He slammed his fist on his wooden pulpit and screamed, “If you die tonight…are you gonna go to heaven….or hell?” His glittering black eyes bore into my soul. My head was bowed down as I timidly tip-toed to the front of the room. I said the “sinners prayer” and became born-again that night.

I must admit, it was a bumpy start, but after I got accustomed to the hooting and hollering and the special connections I made with my sisters and brothers, I settled in. For the first time in my life, I felt part of an accepting and loving family. I felt more secure. Several of the sisters were musical and invited me to be part of their music ministry to the areas nursing home patients. I was exhilarated singing three-part harmony with the church twins.  I was blooming like a rose and it seemed all the shame of my past disappeared. My life was so full and exciting, I had no interest in eating carbs. I soon lost fifteen pounds and was  delighted with my very slim shape.  So what happened?

A year into being a part of my new spiritual family, a church sister called me one afternoon to tell me that our pastor was in jail for child molestation of several children in our congregation. Our assistant pastor also charged him with adulterous relationships with several women and he was involved with  one of the twenty year old men. I was shell-shocked for a week. I loved and trusted my pastor. I couldn’t believe that while he preached holiness he was making love to a young man who himself bragged about staying pure until he married!

The devil must have had it out for me and/or God may have  groomed these traumatic incidents  I didn’t know. Something had to give.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion and how Jesus Christ intervened to begin transforming and establishing me to be His glorious workmanship. You’ll be amazed at the myriad  more trials that I had to endure before I finally became the spiritual Pit-bull I am today!

God bless you and if you’re in an abusive relationship, think about taking Jesus’ hand and letting Him heal you!

GOD’S DREAMS


Journal Entry, May 8, 2010

The gown in the window of “Elegant Alternative” bridal shop caught my eyes, at a canary yellow confection that made me stop in my tracks. I inched closer to take a better look. My fried flounder at next door’s MR Shrimp would have to wait. Slightly in back of the featured yellow gown was another glorious gown of white with sweeping turquoise & lime green swirls and flowers outlined in matching sequins. I imagined myself sitting at a sewing machine whipping up one of these for  myself and as an internationally known and loved fashion designer.

I took a fifteen minute  meal break from my back-breaking job delivering telephone books. As a fifteen year old with aspirations of  designing outrageously glitzy gowns for Cher, I  never would have imagined I’d be battling horrendous traffic to the loading dock and then spending the day dragging phone books up and down hills with my hand cart in Shark River Hills, Neptune, NJ.

A far cry from a glamorous life sewing in a beautiful downtown Manhattan showroom and having the upper echelon of wealthy rock stars, models and actresses hurrying to make appointments to see my collection and buy! Each latest design would be featured in the top Fifth Avenue  fashion publications. Over the years, one or two opportunities came my way, but because of so many oppositions and mishaps facing me, all fell through. Like Joseph languishing in prison, professionals, (Christian and non-Christian)  in my desired fields of music and fashion all forgot about me. Over many years, I struggled greatly with depression, wondering why God never allowed me to be internationally known.

When overwhelmed and tired from the physical strain of my job, I’m often tempted to regret and mourn about what could have been. I know the enemy is constantly directing our thoughts to the past, hurts and mistakes. But I know that God has planned my life and is orchestrating circumstances for His glory!  I don’t always remember, But I know that praising Him and thanking Him for all circumstances keeps me close to Him and in His will. I can’t blame God for old unwise choices or for fears that stopped me from taking a step of faith.  Fear is a great killer of God’s dreams., but He is a God of second chances. Thankfully, when we shirk from a great opportunity because we think we aren’t ready and we lose a chance for a breakthrough, He still has a plan B or C.

My dream may have been to madly pursue a Fashion Design career, but God has already promoted me to a new calling. I’ve accepted and look expectantly and with diligence to the next great thing He’s already ordained. I hope I can encourage others who’s progress and dreams have been thwarted because of fear. It is never too late for God to restore and exalt. We must wait upon Him and then we will soar with wings as eagles.

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