Setting the Atmosphere


fforgiveness

Your Influence on the World,
Journal Entry Monday, July 31, 2017

Today, I awoke to thoughts about mercy. A myriad whirlwind of thoughts about various scenarios and their results. swirled around my mind.  I remembered a moving testimony on Lynn Leahz program. A man wrote in to share his testimony of encountering Jesus. As a young boy, his parents raised him to be a Christian and he accepted Jesus as His Savior. As he got older, His love for Jesus diminished and he joined his friends in partying and revelry. He became promiscuous and lost all interest in the things of God.

Suddenly one night, he felt a strange disorientation and a forbidding. He felt his body separating and was taken across the universe. Then he found himself standing before Jesus. Jesus exuded indescribable love, yet also great disappointment. Then Jesus gazed deeply into his eyes and soul.  “I’m going to show you different scenes from your life..” Steven’s whole life then appeared before him as on a screen. One scenario in particular is familiar to me.

Waiting in a long line at a grocery store used to be one of my pet peeves and even more so as I’ve had to deal with incredibly, painful spasms from the fluorescent lights and stimuli of the sprawling grocery.  I used to grumble and complain, but now, I’ve disciplined myself to try my best to be gracious and smile as often as I can. I’ve heard many testimonies from devoted Christians who say that a smile, a kind word or action changes the whole atmosphere of a person’s demeanor and day.

In Steven’s case, an old lady kept bumping her cart into his lags and he was blasting her. As Steven watched himself in the film before him, he was aware of everyone’s thoughts. He could hear the old lady worry., “I don’t feel well. Am I having a heart attack? ”Did I take my medication today? “Lord I had no idea” Of course you didn’t Steven because you were not in me. Jesus said, Son, you had sinned on may levels. You were rude and thoughtless to her. You cursed her and finally and most importantly, you didn’t tell her about me.”

Fresh revelation came to me this morning, as I prepared myself to await Father’s instructions “Father, what would you like to show me today and what is your pan for me today?” This quiet mediation and devotion time has not always been this way for me. Even in my early years as a Christian, the habit would be to wake up, have my coffee and rush forward towards the day.  Mostly, this manner  led endless days of mediocrity . Something was missing, but I could not see what.  Even though these past ten years of suffering this TMJ-Dystonia has been difficult and draining beyond belief, I tell Father, “I trust You!” Some days I can barely stand the pulling  of my throat muscles which pull at my jaw joints and which sometimes strangles me and cuts off the oxygen.  Father will never exempt any fragile and weak moment or circumstance to yield good fruit!  As I cry for relief  and to be released from this season of partial disablement, I marvel in expectation to see how He will bring all this suffering and loss of my time, (in evangelizing).. for His great Glory.

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Oh…the beauty of being still…and knowing He is God.  Many of us don’t realize how priceless our listening time with God is and how few of us realize the necessity to be still and listen. Many of us piously grab our bibles and commentaries and study..but not necessarily about searching our heart for His purity and childlikeness. . We are too busy disguising our minds from the reality of the subtle, yet ugly hidden sins we deem insignificant. As in Steven’s video we saw how his anger  and cursing the old lady was indeed sinning.  Many of us are unaware of sudden manifestations of our sin nature and strongholds of our minds. We think  resentment, lack of mercy, exactingness, ( insisting others live up to our expectations and in our timberline) fits of anger, self righteousness, need for controlling others,  pride, (refusing to say I’m sorry)  and hatred.

As I listened to Steven”s story,  I recalled  times, not too many years ago, when en route and late to a gig, I would go ballistic because a driver’s speed was not to my satisfaction. I would get angry if his slow speed would get me stopped at a red light, while he drove forward. Sometimes, I’d yell, “You, idiot! Get out of my way”. I am ashamed to admit it, but my transparency is your gain! Recently,  I remember as recently as last year, blurting out, “BIRD BRAIN!”  Oops. Immediately felt convicted. “I’m SO sorry, Father” Forgive me and I bless that person”

Complaining is sin. We can bend over backwards and drive our best buddy anywhere despite our exhaustion of a long week of grueling overtime, yet if our wives need to be driven to the doctor, we let her know we despise it! We wonder why our co-workers seem repulsed by our preaching, yet we continue to scrutinize, (while disdaining) the quality of their work or their inability adapt to our idea of excellence. How about wives who spend hours going to get their nails done or shop, spending hundreds of dollars on each spree, yet can barely sacrifice and make their husband a wonderful home cooked meal? How about parents whose lives revolve around working  countless hours of overtime to buy new toys and gadget, yet neglect nurturing and listening to their children. Life seems a breeding ground of dysfunction and no one really understands why relationship are amiss and disappointing..

How blessed we are when Holy Spirit lovingly convicts us. Truly. blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. As I continued thinking about Steven’s story,  I thanked Father for His mercy to me regarding all my self-righteous and pious demeanor at times. I’m grateful when I get that little nudge that a spirit of pride has taken residence in my heart.  Time to kick him out. I know I could never be righteous apart from Jesus and can never live up to His perfection and mercy.

Let’s talk about anger now.  Anger is rooted in some kind of fear. Anger shows his face in many ways and circumstances, (rooted very deep since childhood and even as far back as  in infancy and a fetus). There are may manifestations of anger.  During a conversation, when we feel intimidated, we react with a posture of defensiveness or vindictiveness. We get angry and take it personally when a co-worker messes up a project or schedules. We respond to the problem with sarcasm and  disdain, rather than asking God to intervene and help vindicate. Sometimes we are so arrogant that we blame everyone who makes a mistake as planning trouble. Here is a spirit of fear, (of losing the job, being demoted or being written up by a supervisor). We all have our excuses for  blasting people, but in God’s eyes, there is no excuse. Did we ever think that others have days were they are slow, confused, overwhelmed, by lack of sleep or troubled? When we think we can read people’s minds and judge their motives, we need to address this attitude as arrogance and renounce it. Oh, how we are so led astray by our hearts. The heart is deceitful above all things. Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

The bottom line is, I’m sorry, is the answer for ll our sins. Not I’m sorry to relieve our consciences, but repentance that a relationship was breached and tainted by our own selfishness, pride and/or fear. Even if we feel we are innocent, there is nothing more healing to the spirit of a offended child, spouse, friend, co-worker and God. I’m sorry humbly said after a disagreement of mistake can mean the difference between a chaotic and miserable day or one that is covered with mercy and love.

Rob Morrissette, in hi insightful deliverance book,  Pray Through It, says it is not so much our reactions and feelings which are sinful, but our response to the wrong. Do we fight fire with fire, tit for tat?. Are we vindictive and harbor a deep anger, erupting in a fit of rage? If we are to engage our culture in a Christ manner, we will understand the significance of setting an atmosphere of mercy and grace to others when they make mistakes.  I’ve had days when I was cursed, harshly criticized or condemned and my whole week was ruined. It can be hard to rise up out of someone’s curse. I’ve also encountered making mistakes and being responded to with great kindness and mercy. This gave me a attitude of gratitude and i was able to pray for all involved and saw God’ work miraculously! Everyone was blessed!

We are as the pebble thrown into a still pond. Our responses to painful or negative events undulate outward into humanity, changing the very timberline of life!

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I ask you to help me be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Help me, Holy Spirit, to have the mind of Christ. Help me to respond patiently  and with mercy those who are having a bad day, not doing their job properly or are constantly in physical pain. Let us imagine that that slow driver may have lost their loved one or had to put their pet to sleep today. They shouldn’t be driving, but they are. Maybe they received a bad doctors report about their tests. They have Cancer and have eight months to live. Perhaps, someone’s house burned down or they were fired from their job. I do not know what a person is going through or grappling with, so help me to be merciful, gracious and have an attitude of healing grace.  Help me to be sensitive and ready when there is an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus and His love for them.  Help me to be so in You, that I am sensitively intune to react as Jesus would.  Help me to catch myself when I suddenly react with defensiveness, fear or self-defense,  rather  than being humble and eager to quickly restore peace and lightness and peace in a conversation or relationship. With your help, I can reverse the negative emotional stronghold which have  hindered my joy and peace for many years and even many decades. With God…all things are possible.If I am willing, Father, You are able! Two special words, “I’m sorry” will bring  true repentance and healing to the one I unintentionally hurt. Help me to be led by  Holy Spirit and especially Lord, help me to learn to Be Still and know you are God…so I can hear your small voice which  gently convicts and corrects me so I can truly radiate the love and mercy of Christ, In Jesus precious name I pray, amen!

 

THE GLORY OF KOINONIA, Part 2


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This week-end, my husband , Mark, struck up a conversation with a cook who was preparing his order. During the conversation, the pleasant young man remarked how he didn’t like the situation with the cooking oil that fried the pork also mingled with the other fried foods. He told Mark that his faith, Islam, prohibited the eating of pork. When the young man went outside for a cigarette break, Mark pointed out that he was concerned about defiling his body, yet he smoked. Then he shared about his Christian faith and his stance on dietary commandments. Then Jason told Mark he used to be a Christian.

A Facebook friend asked for prayer on her Facebook page. She was devastated about her boyfriend’s best friend committing suicide. She shared how wonderful and gifted he was and everyone’s shock about the shocking tragedy. As I basked in the warm sun, my heart suddenly ached for all the precious people who thought ending their life was the only way to end their torment. Even Christins were suicidal and I wondered what the missing link was.

Two other Christian brothers were also enduring a season of “disconnectness”.I continued to think about the various states of human emotion, embracing of life connection. The exquisite bed of soft solitude allowed me to even more deeply empathize with the emotion of alienation. I wondered what catalysts caused such separation in the spirit that ne would end their life. I continued to open my spirit to Holy Spirit for more understanding and insight. I thought of the Beatle’s Eleanor Rigby, John Lennona and Paul McCartney merely scratched the surface.

My thoughts went to a few relationships in my own life which had been severed suddenly by the other person. I felt very sad, having done all I could to reach out in love with a gifts and words of love. In both cases, the other person was a continual talker and most of the conversation was from their viewpoint. I must admit my weakness in not enjoying long, mostly one-sided long discourses . These people are insightful and intelligent, but their inability to venture out of themselves makes intimacy (and the continuation of the realtionship) difficult. Being so challenged with the TMJ- jaw-Dystonia issue, I need to limit my speaking. But if I am inspired by the equality and graciousness of the conversation, (not consisting extraneous verbiage and long-winded rambling). It can be draining and not edifying. And usually when the person talks for son long, I usually forget what I wanted to say!

Stimulation and inspiring conversationalist are rare. As I’ve often mentioned in many of my blogs and teachings walking in God’s excellence encompasses every aspect of life, particularly communicating and relationships. I believe poor communication, (with God and with each other) skills and self-centeredness is one great cause of sickness.

Stimulation and inspiring conversationalist are rare. As I’ve often mentioned in many of my blogs and teachings walking in God’s excellence encompasses every aspect of life, particularly communicating and relationships. I believe poor communication, (with God and with each other) skills and self-centeredness is one great cause of sickness.

God ordained marriage and family for His glory and companionship Today, dependence on technology, (whoever instantaneous and far-reaching) has caused a great deficiency and quality of substance. Some keep in touch through emailing and texting, but there is truly nothing as fulfilling and nurturing as one on one, face to face contact.

Koinonia, (intimate fellowship) is a very fragile and complicated skill-attribute which can only be nourished by Holy Spirit. Koinonia is more than socializing, fellow shipping or hanging out. Koinonia is an unselfish desire to reach out with genuine interest and passion . It is also humbling ones own superiority in favor of allowing another to freely express himself.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Pual wrote in Phil 2:4 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

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Koinonia, intimacy, is a very fragile and complicated skill which can only be nourished by Holy Spirit. Koinonia is more than socializing, fellow shipping or hanging out. Koinonia is an unselfish desire to humble ones own self in favor of allowing another to freely express himself. My prayer is that this precious revelation Holy Spirit gave me today, will will more illuminate the all in the body of Christ!

The Bible describes a special relationship between David and Jonathan in I Sam. 18:1 .

The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Do we love each other as our own souls, or do we just tolerate each other. If an experienced elder gives us advice, are we resentful of offended> Do we disdain those who are not as intelligent or educated as us? Do we even go as far to severe a  connection because of an irreconcilable difference? There are times to separate, (if the difference is spiritually or emotionally wounding) and minister from afar if there are urgent physical needs. We should keep in mind the urgency of staying together in these very dark times. The government and the non-believing world will not be the shelter when disaster hits! It is the haven of the body of Christ which will be the safe place.

Since every child of God, is adopted into the royal family, we are all called to unity Eph 4:12

The following verses are some of the most sobering verses in the Bible regarding our quality of stewardship and collectively participating with the building of God’s house!

1 Cor 3 11-15 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; 13 Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.14 If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.15 If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

The bottom line, I ask holy Spirit daily, am I building up Father’s house or…am I tearing it down? God’s plan is to equip the saints for works of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, When God’s people start empathizing and show genuine interest in each other, we won’t feel, unloved, isolated and rejected. We will find purpose, joy and fulfillment in family, marriage and our love walk with God.

Heavenly Father, please pour you sweet Holy Spirit in even more glorious ways upon your body. So many lonely people are isolated, misunderstood and disregarded. Each one of us is special, fashioned by your won majestic hands, Father, let us continually forgive and let those who who hurt or offend us, also consider and ask forgiveness, so your family can be the LIGHT of the world You called her to be. Father mend the broken hearts in all of us and help us to be honest with You first and then with each other. Help us to take the lower seat, to get out of ourselves and to be interested in the interests of others! That will be a connective bond to draw us closer. Let us all, realize that none of us knows everything and if we humble ourselves and calls ourselves students of life, we will enjoy the wonderful of friendship and Koinonia. In Jesus name, amen.

God bless you beloved and may this post bring you into growth!

TRANSPARENCY WITH GOD, Pt 2


 

 

CHRISTIAN MASKS

Two years ago, one a dear pastor-mentor asked me if I would connect in a woman who seeking a prayer warrior. I agreed and contacted the sister. We clicked.  I couldn’t wait to “storm the gates” of hell with her in prayer each morning. She was also a natural healer-practitioner who wanted to assist me in my Lyme Disease and Dystonia battle. We had our love for our cats and composing worship songs as common ground and talked about everything wonderful, musical and spiritual under the sun. She introduced me to a very complicated and very costly protocol, (costing well into thousands of dollars). I balked at the cost and reminded her that healing from Jesus never put anyone into a lifetime of debt. I wasn’t being facetious, just concerned about the burden of juggling so many supplements with foods and the RIFE machine. I was shocked when I received an eight page very angry,  condemning letter that made me cry for half an hour! When I emailed her and as her if she was mad at me, I got no comment and never heard from her again. That last I heard, she emailed my husband with news she had lost her rental house and was living in her car. She I was heart-broken that she was destitute and sick. Mark and I decided to bless her with a check and one of my hand-made beaded chokers to let her know she was still a Queen in Father’s eyes.

I reeled with shock and grief at the sudden severing of this relationship, but abrupt endings of this nature happen everyday for people all over the world. It can emotionally traumatic to receive a damning letter from someone you loved and trusted. Events like these often disturbed my peaceful momentum, especially since I came from a background of abuse, but I’ve learned to focus on restoring peace and harmony by bringing the schism to the Lord, forgiving and praying for the person. I then become creative and joyful again. Our response to angry confrontations is to pray for those who persecute or offend us and especially if they are our brethren. We should also not gloat over any misfortunes that befall for the way of love is showing compassion.

When we are hurt, insulted or accused of something we didn’t do or say, our flesh can allow our tongues to set aflame a forest fire of retaliatory damage. We must consistently abide in Father-Jesus presence to keep our flesh bridled. Paul tells us in Rom 12:18 to try as much as possible to live at peace with all men.

The glorious and transforming essence emanation emanating from Holy Ghost through us determines the outcome of Father’s blessing and provision. When we discipline ourselves to flow in His unconditional love, (and forgiveness) we will see a local, national and global soul-harvest We often hear it said “There is strength in unity” We just have to read our newspaper headlines blaring examples of chaos and disunity all across our own America everyday. Scattered groups seethe in civil disobedience. Racial hatred and rioting brews between law enforcement and angry protesters. Political parties are also in disunity about how to address and solve the problem of an ever-rising and astronomical debt. Going down the line, we see husbands and wives at enmity with each other mistrusting each others motives, manipulating to get needs meet and controlling to Lord over. Here is an example of a fragmented and disunified America at her worst.

To God’s dismay, His people are in the same position, disorganized, squabbling, impotent , pathetic, not to forget busy-bodies scrutinizing everyone’s walk and business but their own. Do we really think Jesus is coming for a bride in this condition?
It is time to look in the mirror and ask Holy Spirit to scrutinize us for the purpose of purifying us.

We cannot continue in our state and expect to see God’s supernatural signs and wonders. His hands are tied by our self-righteousness, unresolved conflicts, prejudice, harshness, and condemnation which weakens the fragile fibers of God’s tapestry, His church. Imagine a complicated machine with many parts and electrically powered. If there is a short somewhere in the wire and the connecting wires are severed, the machine won’t work. Once the breach is repaired either by soldering or reconnecting the wire, the machine does its magic. This is how the body of Christ also operates.

Apostle Paul gave us a beautiful descriptive picture of how important everyone of us is in the body. Each child of God is a crucial part of the smooth-running of His body! Two people, a couple or a group can have a schism and all are affected. The momentum of the machine is slowed down or stopped. We wonder why our ministries, marriages and finances are not flourishing and as an ever-flowing fountain of water. We cannot expect for fruit from works of the flesh. Peace and joy comes from an uncluttered and pure spring. When we walk in love, we bear patiently with each other and are tender-hearted.

Paul tells us to bear each others burden Gal 6:2 We are all responsible for each other growth and well-being. We shouldn’t stand idly by if a brother or sister is in sin or making poor choices for his life and family. Wise and mature elders are to groom and teach the younger and inexperienced. This is how the body of Christ should operate, in fullness and harmony. The trend of Christian apathy must change in the United States and the heavy burden should not be borne by the tiny percentage of intercessors? All of us are responsible with our gifts, talents and abilities to mesh with each other in divine harmony.

… 25 …so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 27 Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it. 1 Cor 12 25-27

I’ve had to deal with many other disturbing and confrontational issues with various people. I most stressful one with one of my husband’s friends, a fellow minister who thought it was his calling to scrutinized my every spontaneous ministry endeavor-activity. He’d often counsel my husband.

“You need to control that situation.” or ” My wife would never do that. Anita is out of order.” Once too many times, my husband would remark during a spat, “I need to put my foot down like pastor ( no name disclosed)  says!”  Looks like an insecure, controlling and manipulative spirit here. This  man needs to mind his own business and pray about me if he is that  bothered. that much by my excitement to go out spontaneously to minister at a nursing home. This type of scrutinizing and controlling advice is  greatly damaging to a marriage and certainly does nothing to build up a wife’s hospital ministry!

I also had to deal with  the contention of another Christian brother who would start a discourse with my husband and end  six to seven hours later into the wee hours into the night!  Though his visits were infrequent, the tiny window of time my husband and I was often devoured by his nebulous conversations. He could not see my concern for my husband’s need for  sleep and our need for quality time together on the week-ends. He was obstinate with pride and refused to be courteous and respect our marriage covenant and relationship. The last time he came to visit, he exploded in anger when I asked my husband to reserve the last hour of Sunday night for our time. He was so enraged by my request to my husband that he wrote me a 10 page letter beginning with how domineering I was. I couldn’t believe that the same man I prayed with in my car after my grocery shopping two years ago was the same person who lunged at me in rage in my own house!

He has yet to apologize, but I’ve forgiven him and moved on in prayer for him and God restoring our friendship.

Another strange confrontation happened to me about eleven years ago. A dear Christian musician-artist sister’s husband bawled me out one day by phone with the most hateful accusations. He didn’t believe my intentions with his wife (or our relationship) was godly. I loved being around this sister and loved being involved in perforating and ministry. he called me a user and manipulator and that I manipulated my best friend-music partner for years. I was so shocked and sick for days!

I didn’t hear from this dear woman for over eleven years, but never ceased praying and blessing them. Just imagine the fruit of our friendship, the fellowship and ministering to souls with our combined gifts. Satan loves to disturb the balance and harmony of God’s people with mistrust, hard-hardheartedness and pride.If this couple would have sat down and we all reasoned and listened wirth the Spirit, many wonderful things could have been accomplished for the kingdom.

Satan’s spirits are usually at the root of angry, hateful confrontations or accusations and we must be on guard to his devices. When the body is weakened by unforgivesnness, bitterness and false slander, we cannot overcome the attacks that come our way. Our prayers are hindered by our prideful resistance to apologize and reason in fairness and love!

So, here is the connection between the rise of ISIS, racial tension, persecution, genocide and every other malignant evil. The body of Christ is the salt of the earth.We are the city of a hill and from which all nations should look too because of our righteous and obedience to god’s commandments and ordinances!Proverbs 29:2 tell us that the righteous increase, the people rejoice. But when a wicked man rules, the people groan.

America and the rest of the world are groaning!

The enemy gains power when God’s people are weak with strife, disharmony and pride. For the creation awaits in eager expectation for the revelations of the sons of God! Rom 8:19. It is time that we all gaze into God’s mirror and see the haggard, weary sin-scarred visage staring back at us. Let us not believe in the deceiver who has fooled us into thinking that we are right with God because we are memorizing scripture, attending Saturday or Sunday services, keeping the Shabbat, tithing (and even praying (in the flesh). Let us worship…in Spirit and in truth. John 4:24

How fruitful are our “godly” activities when we’ve ignored and minimized our broken or strained relationship? Husband do you belittle or ignore your wife’s passion to win souls and her passion for heavenly things? Wife do you neglect to cook, take care of the house and honor your husband? Children, do you disrespect and rebel against your parents? Pastors and elders are you meddling in people’s “out of the box” marriages and ministries when it’s none of your business? These are some of the “insignificant”(in our eyes) sins, but crucial as far as the health and fruitfulness of the body of Christ.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
Let us not love not in word but in deed. 1 John 3:18 Let us not do cheap lip service, “I love and pray ” for so and so everyday, yet we talk about them like dirt behind our backs. Beloved, Help us Holy Spirit to love each other fervently and with pure hearts., forgiving each other.
Help us to be transparent with You and with each other, confessing our sins so we can walk in healing and joy!

In the matchless name of Your Son, Jesus, Yashuah
Aman