Marchin forward

MOVING FORWARD From Offenses and Woundings

For many of us, conflict and strife are two of the most difficult areas to address. The inability to confidently address criticism and conflict  stifles our ability to soar upward into our divine fullness. The book of Proverbs is chock full of warnings to be cautious in our communication. Being slow to speak and waiting for divine wisdom for understanding has been challenging for me. I grew up in a family atmosphere of intense conflict between my German mother and Puerto-Rican father, whose relationship started to weaken when my father took on great responsibilities as the vice president of the Spanish Fraternity. His time and financial investments to the Spanish Community were straining our family and mom and dad argued constantly. I was very sensitive as a young girl and my parents arguing was very distressing for me. I also had to endure my mother’s temper tantrums where she regularly overturned the furniture, tore apart everything in my two younger sisters’ rooms and gave them beatings. This abusive environment of fear and anger became of stronghold in me. I was terrified of angry, mean people. At the first sign of a negative body language or facial expression, my stomach would turn and I became nauseous. I must admit,  my communication  style was challenged because of my nervousness in the presence of angry people.  This stronghold intensified during my first marriage where I endured domestic violence.  My fear to express disatisfaction or  uphold my boundaries  was firmly established. and my husband’s rage when I stated my opiinion caused me to keep m mouth shut because I didn’t want to be attacked.

We’ve all suffered rejection, abandonment and/or abuse and the extent of our spiritual growth-healing depends on our willingness to allow Christ to heal the deeply-embedded, negative strongholds of our mind and soul. In my life as a creative person,  (many artists, musicians and people in creative fields) feel a need to escape the sordid aspects of reality. Non creative people can also seek refuge in certain comforts such as sports, drugs, alcohol, shopping, food addictions and pornography. This is natural for us to feel safe from excruciating mental anguish or a sexual trauma such as molestation or rape. Those of us from extremely abusive backgrounds believe that the only way to cope with our painful past is to find refuge in the beauty and wonder of our creative endeavors and projects. Success in our careers and creativity is a good thing, but staying stuck in the plateau of woundedness and the trauma is not.

For me it has been a very long and painful road to spiritual freedom and joy because there were few intuitive and anointed pastors and/or deliverance counselors who could help me accurately identify negative strongholds. Even less to find are those who willingly guide a wounded individual to Christ’s wholeness. With the kingdom of hell becoming more aggressive than ever before, (satan knows his time is very short). God’s people are getting a triple dose of attacks in every area of life. It’s rare for any child of God not to be suffering some attack. Strife and division seems to be the main area satan has been using to create division and weakness in the body of Christ. The way around this is continual time in God’s presence, repentance and being accountable to elders.

The law of Love

1 Cor. 13 4-8 is really the formula which builds and strengthens the body, but often harder than it seems. Agape love allows no pride and convicts us when refuse to be wrong. We say, “Why should I acquiesce to him/her?” The spirit of offense is strong and often uses the element of surprise. You’re caught off guard when he strikes and you’re trembling in anger. Offense must be taken captive by Christ’s authority.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

A fellow intercessor sister and I were praying about how to address various weak areas our brthren needed to address. I told her how disappointed II was about several incidents which occurred with very dear and mature prophetic Christian sisters in my circle. Each incident involved a disagreement where both parties responded in quick anger. There was no resolution and the two decided not to bother with each other again. This breaking of relationship and avoiding each other disturbs me and disturbs the delicate atmosphere of unity in God’s family. We may glibly disregard our decision to break relationship with a brother or sister, but that small offense breaches the circle of love. We may not immediately feel or see the sting of offense-rejection, but it’s seed  takes root nonetheless and it opens the door to other demonic strongholds.

Pastor Derrik Prince teaches how just one rejection can swing open a door allowing other demonic stronghold to take root. This is why repentance is so necessary. When we are unified in love, we operate in great power and achieve God’s greatest miracles, healing and deliverance. When we have disagreements so sharp that we cut off the relationship and go on our merry way, we lose the opportunity to grow in the area of resolving conflict. We are as iron sharpening iron and Father is pleased when we conquer that pride spirit and seek reconciliation and resolution. With God all things are possible and when we come together in prayer, with the intention of resolving and unifying, we will be building bridges and healing wounded or misunderstood hearts.

Let us never forget that satan is cunning and has studied mankind for eons. He knows exactly how to s get a toehold in even the most well-intentioned. Conquering offense can often be difficult for people raised in angry, alcoholic and dysfunctional backgrounds. They often have deep-rooted strongholds of unworthiness and inferiority. Their mothers may have scorned, “You’re no good” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” If these declarations are not renounced and broken off, those voices will continue to harass and maim. The child will grow up to be an adult who is fearful of constructive criticism of any kind. When questioned, they respond immediately with raised dukes to fend imagined, crippling blows to their fragile self-worth. Those voices taunt incessantly, threatening their marriage and/or family. These negative accusing voices come from the pits of hell.  Strongholds of rejection and unworthiness can only be banished by daily meditating and declaring God’s truth about His precious children  who are created to do good works!

Learn to address feelings of shame, anxiety and/or unworthiness with God’s word. For those of us who have been raised in abuse and unhealthy homes, we must make wholeness and God’s word a priority. Healing from unhealthy influences may need help from strong, positive mentors. Learn not to be ashamed and defensive when questioned or criticized. Learn to recognize pride when he it rises up. Pride separates, but love unites. Don’t let pride bar us from admitting we don’t have all the answers or we made a mistake. Be sensitive to Holy  Spirit’s nudge when ou quickly  respondi inappropriately, angrilly or with unwaranted suspicion. Give people the benefit of the doubt that they are not always out to get you.

Repentance (humility) are not dirty words and we should never be ashamed to get on our faces, cry out in deep humility and ask Father to reveal our shortcomings. Repentance is cleansing and we grow in His grace when we are transparent. In one of my group prayer battalions, we start out our conference call with confessing our sins and weaknesses to each other.  This was a new thing to me, but found after a few weeks, how it draew my sisters and I closer together and made us more compassionate and prayerful for each other!

Repentance should be as natural as doing a detox or fast for our physical bodies. When we cleanse our body through daily repenting, we do not hinder the flow of Holy Spirit or block Him from blessing us with His conviction and gracious deliverance! My prayer for the body of Christ, is that we work on being transparent and honest with each other. Sin and iniquities root and flourish when we keep our sins and weaknesses hidden. The Bible says we are to confess our sins and weaknesses with each other daily.  All too often,  I see and hear about episodes where our Christian brethren display rage and  are vindictive on Facebook and other public forums. This is a very poor witness to non-believers and grieves our heavenly Father. Especially damaging is strife and division about political issues and gossip. A wise, gracious person would have nothing to do with strife because it weakens the bond of fellowship. We need to share our views respectfully and if the disagreement is too intense, then we must agree to disagree and avoid the subject for the sake of peace.

Brothers and sisters, we need to get it together because we are in the end of the end times and time is short. The eternal destinies of millions are at the precipice of decision and our demeanor must be Christ-alluring, a fragrance in the stench of pride and worldliness. When we are dedicated to unity in our King Jesus, satan cannot get a toehold. Pride in us is insidious and let us remember that it sneaks up even in the best of us. Let us not be afraid to be wrong or uniformed and let us ask God for HIs divine wisdom!

TWEAK ME, (Every Idle Word)

judgement day photo: Your Verdict Judgement Day? GodsJudgmntjpg.jpg

Tweak Me (Every Idle Word)
February 14, 2014

A Life of Tweaking
In the process of professional music recording, the work must go through many tweakings. I start out laying basic lead vocal, acoustic guitar played with a click track. I take the rough draft home and work on harmony. Then I get ideas for motifs, which I then give to my lead guitarist, bassist and drummer. We all meet for a recording session. Then comes the artsy part. My producer-engineer and husband Mark, sit together and listen back to the tracks. We listen carefully for any notes I sang flat or sharp, any bad bass notes or any dissonance. We take home the track again, listen and continue to fine-tune the song. By the time it’s ready for mastering, we have tweaked and tweaked until the mixes sound radio ready! It can be an arduous process, but joyously rewarding. I’ve learned so much, recording all of six original CDs and three cover ones. After over twenty solid years of professional recording, I can say I’m a veteran songwriter-producer but still always evolving to ever higher musical heights.

Thankfully, my hunger for excellence has spilled into the area of my personal spiritual growth as worship leader-songwriter, journalist and soul sculptor desiring to see glorious transformation within the body of Christ. Upon awakening each morning, I start meditating about Father God searching my heart, testing my anxious thoughts and showing me if there is any evil. Psalm 139:23 &24. I ask Him to help set a guard over my lips. Psalm 141:3 I daily have to yield and give Him permission to tweak me, my actions and even my deepest unconscious response. Why am I so concerned?

The hour is late the world is getting darker and more evil by the day. Atrocities beyond the most barbaric horror movies ever created are occurring everywhere. During my prayer time, I’m even more aware of the lateness and urgency f the time I’m in and how I must be salt and light. You and I are ambassador of peace and reconciliation and a king and a priest!

Sloppy Agape or a penchant for priestliness

In one of my earlier blogs, Sloppy Agape or Penchant for Priestliness, I focused on living an excellent life in Christ. I hope Tweak Me zeroes in about the reality of the demonic realm violently belching out profound evil attacks worldwide and in every area of peoples lives. This demonic assault is so powerful, unless God’s people get it together in unity, we will be overcome by death and destruction. This is not to scare anyone but to show how we must approach the demonic dilemma. We must be unified in love and fit for the master’s use. It has grieved me to hear about so much friction, strife and dissension amongst my brethren. Being brought up in a multi-cultural family, a hard-working, gregarious Puerto-Rican father and stoic, moody German mother, was a cause for many difficult times for my three sisters and I. It was here in family that I learned how important diplomacy, a desire to quickly forgiveness is essential to be emotionally and spiritually at peace. I willingness to keep communication lines open is golden!

I want to be closer to God and be the expression of his kindness, patience, mercy and grace. Rather than just read God’s word, I desire to meditate on it, so it can become a beautiful part of me. I’ve learned that it’s not enough to just read the word, but to ask Holy Spirit to bring it to life in our spirits. Here is where the transformation occurs!

Jesus discourse in the Gospels was penetrating and not easily forgettable. His words cut like a knife as he spoke in parables or true events with a conviction so strong, many were transformed forever! The framework of family and society is so fragile and dependent upon us abiding in Him, (the vine) that without our meticulous interaction and intervention, society will cease to exists as we know it! We must work hard to overcome rivalry, impatience, frustration, strife and anger by asking for God’s help. We must discipline ourselves to daily by gazing into the Holy Spirit mirror. Only then can we receive the help we need to be the overcomers and transformers of our world!

Addressing confect has always been one of my weak points I hate confrontation because usually it is with someone intent upon imposing their will or perspective on mine and usually ends up with hard words said.. Sometimes even just angry, closed body language and angry facial grimaces make my stomach ill.

The past few days while going about my usual mundane chores, I kept thinking about the phrase… ..every idle word .I knew God wanted me to elaborate on how our speech affects our lives and the lives of all in our world. .All week, friends and loved ones ask me to stand with them in prayer about their frustration with their chaotic family unhappy spouses and kids and unfruitful ministries. Sins of the flesh are usually at work.

I grapple with my own share of issues with my husband that we must work out together. Sometimes during an argument with my husband, (thankfully we don’t cuss each other or disrespect each other), but his body language and disrespect may anger me. My voices gets high and he will walk right away, refusing to talk with me unless my voice gets lower. After the argument, we wonder what happened. I always soul search and ask God to show me how I contributed negatively to the situation. With that in mind, I know that communication entails a delicate blend of respect, self-control and patience. We have much work to do together to navigate the atmosphere of resolving our hard issues. One thing for sure, we both know that we must forgive and hug each other sincerely, so we can both go to sleep with a clear conscience! Resolving conflict and forgiving should enter the equation whether we have a conflict with our spouse, children, co-workers or neighbors. Holding on to anger will never set us free to receive the peace and blessing father has for us. We should always soul search to see if there was something we said or did that would have positively resoled the issue. Sometimes our lives or relationships are unfruitful not because of doing bad things but because of not doing the right thing!
I love Joyce Meyer’s ministry because she focuses often on teachings about cultivating fruitful love walks. I love to compare the concept of our love walk with my planting of my vegetable garden this past summer. There are very deliberate things one has to do to have a garden that produces lush produce. One can’t expect to just plant the seeds and forget about them. First came the tilling of the hard, lifeless soil, then adding and mixing organic fertilizer , more tilling and then rest and wait. After a few days, the small seedlings growing in small containers were transplanted carefully into their place in the soil. Certain plants would grow and take much space so they had to be positioned with that in mind so they wouldn’t overcrowd those plants which took less room. To the avid gardener or professional farmer, nurturing their crop is a prized and precious endeavor. We should look at it in the same we do growing fruitfully in God’s vine!
The power of love is the fortifying agent we produce, (after learning spiritual warfare skills.). What good is being an loving child of God everyone gets along with, but you’re bound,, miserable and fearful and you can’t help anyone be set free!? Responding positively in faith when faced with trials, cris and tragedy is what Father desires in his people. Perseverance and humor assuages the burden of grief and difficult times.

We all love the gift of grace. We do something wrong, treat others roughly, are harsh or condemning, then confess our sin in a casual, unconcerned manner to God. Some of us continually offend or aggressively confront our brethren with our newly revealed and illuminated Biblical truths or growth. An offended brother or sister makes us feel guilty and so we confess to God, but we rarely look in the mirror and see our error. We are just like the man who looks in the mirror briefly and walks away unchanged! James 1:23

Approved and Disapproved workers

Jesus gave a serious rebuke that every idle word we speak shall be revealed on the day of judgement. After an argument, we may say, “Oh, I didn’t mean to say that.” But it came right out of our hearts. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.,” Luke 6:48.
Jesus says that a good tree is known by its good fruit. If we are bearing good fruit then good things should come from our hearts to our mouths. I believe more pastors, teachers and prophets should be teaching their people about the necessity fo bearing good fruit and abiding in the vine to illuminate the glory of our Father! I pray the body of Christ meditates on the concept of the becoming that beautiful tree planted by the waters that bears fruit even in the desert and famine times. Let us not live our lives casually, but purposefully. Let’s refrain from saying aloud things that ought not be even thought of!

Paul writes to his spiritual son, Timothy about the analogy of the holy house God is building with Jesus as the chief cornerstone. Some of us are vessels of gold, silver, wood or clay. Some are for the Lord’s common use and some for His special occasions! Wouldn’t we all love to be a vessel that is for His special use? Not all of us will get a mansion in glory and many righteous crowns. Only those who have surrendered themselves and their flesh will receive the best rewards. Paul reminds us to run the race unhindered and for the prize. There will be many who get into heaven by the skin of their teeth and get a log cabin and a cotton tunic! Others,(like missionaries who gave all, even their own lives for the lost) are having their opulent mansions build right now! It is our choice while we are alive on earth to produce as much fruit as we can. That doesn’t mean completing projects successfully, graduating at the top of the class, maintaining a strong internet presence or being the most wealthy CEO of a corporation. It means preaching the good news to the lost and broken and discipline-grooming people for kingdom service and filling practical needs like food, shelter and provision. God loves people, not things and projects

In participating in the building of of Father’s kingdom, we must be very precise and focused. Let’s fine tune our reactions and habits of communication and ministry buy putting off contentious, strife, envy, wrath, pride critical and legalistic spirits. Whoever names Christ as their savior must put away (and be aware of the tendency to have) iniquity. Strife is a real killer of unity in the body and good relationships and we should avoid strife at all costs. We are called to live at peace with all men.

God’s sons and daughters must be perfect…perfect as Father is perfect. Perfection in this context is not the sense of never being wrong, making mistakes, having a strong disagreement with someone, but having an awareness and desire to be the best we can even in our thoughts, speech and actions. Let us focus on nurturing our spiritual garden, our hearts, with wonderful and edifying things.

At the Bema Seat

To close, I wanted to share on my recent meditating of Rev 20:12 , I’m humbled by reverential fear reading about the Bema Seat . It has caused me to remain vigilant and watchful for demonic attacks which would make me soppy in my love walk. The scene of the Bema Seat on Judgement day for all people reminds me that our whole lives will be wrapped up in a nutshell within the pages of our book of life. There will be no time to take back anything we’ve done or make excuses to God. Let’s seriously meditate on being prepared, in true intimacy with Father-Christ and having our relationships in order. Let’s put away all bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness and/or hate.

Imagine the deafening silence as the angels stand at attendance. As we are called up before the Lord. The books are opened…and another book is opened, The Book of Life. Just envisioning myself standing before Christ, (in this instance) as my judge, makes me tremble. I think about my own book in heaven chronicling every unconfessed thought, action and motivation.. All I can groan in prayer to Father is “help me, Lord.”and “more of You and less of me.”

Imagine, beloved, your own book in heaven. I pray that you and I will have few recorded negative incidents to be ashamed of. I pray that now, while we still have a little time, that we will start today tweaking our love walks and be fruitful in every good work! 2 Tim 2:21. Let us not say evil things about our president, wish that murderers and rapists all die or blast TV pastors and evangelists and their past indiscretions. We need to pray fervently that all men may receive Christ. Paul and Moses were both murderers, Two of the most infamous Muslim terrorists had a Damascus experience and received Christ as Savior and Lord!. We don’t know which enemies now are our friends and brethren in the future!

A Damascus Experience, Kamal Saleem

Father, help us to speak life-giving words and not look for the faults in others. Help us to discipline ourselves in meditating on how to have good fruit and to tweak our love walks even if we get along with everyone. Help us to have an attitude of gratitude for all people and to find the good in everyone. Help us also to pry for our enemies and those who persecute us because we don’t know will of them will be other brother or sister!

A New Life and Master. Walid Shoebat

God bless you as you ask Father, “Tweak us, Lord!